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Thread: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

  1. #1441
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Those days we awake feeling anxious will undoubtedly be due to our subconsciousness.
    I'm reading about it at the moment and it seems to be the key to our recovery.
    Apparently, it doesn't have any affect trying to convince our conscious mind that we are ok, if the subconscious mind has a record of previous fear or danger.. This brings me back to the point of facing a particular fearful situation that takes up to a dozen times to conquer and replace it with a positive feeling. It could be about the place/person /event. Like a Supermarket, Motorway, a relative, a wedding and so on.
    And its why we always dread the Dentist, hospital, a funeral, they all tend to be negative places and the feelings about those are natural and hardly change our views on feeling good about them.
    But it's not natural to feel scared of a Supermarket, public transport, going to work, someone else's home and loads of other things we come across in our daily life.
    So it's important to our recovery to work on the subconscious and that can only be done in a state of going in and coming out of it.
    A bit like those CDs you listen to when you want to give up smoking, lose weight or have a fear of flying.
    You listen to them just before you fall asleep and the messages stay rooted deep in your brain and become recorded permanently.
    The same with learning a language.
    How many times have you heard that you will benefit by going to sleep counting the positives of the day. Your achievements, gratitude, good things that happened.
    And how we should look at ourselves in the morning and compliment ourselves instead of groaning about being too fat, too thin, too short, too tall, too old and all the other uglies we pick at ourselves.
    We try to perfect, it's just not going to happen. Nothings perfect. Look for the best points and admire them, play down the worst points, but hey don't even do that. It's all part of you!
    There's a weather forecaster on tv that has only part of her arm. Do I look at her and think, "poor girl, she's only got part of an arm". No. I turned to my other half and said, "what a pretty girl with a softly speaking voice". And he agreed. So why should we be bothered if we have a couple of lines on our face or our hair is out of place? Beauty is skin-deep as they say.
    Anyway, getting back to this subconscious thing. It's something we can definitely delve into and I'm still reading the literature about it, but it's also going to become obvious to me that meditation has a lot to do with it too.
    I've only used meditation to calm me and empty my head, not to feed it with positive affirmations.
    This is why your hypnotism is effective Sue.
    Whether someone one says it works or doesn't work, the subconscious is being fed by positivity and over time will eventually be second nature. The time will be based on the length of suffering and extremities.
    I'm very encouraged by the possibility of changing my current fears.
    As you say Sue, my weather fear has got out of hand and disabling my life. And that's been due to being caught up in bad storms where I've had to run away from and suffering heatstroke several times in the past, so now I see them as danger!
    Before I babble on too much, it's something I'll keep you updated on.

    Yes, I do have hobbies Sue.
    One of them is packed up in the garage and that's my sketching/painting. I also returned to my piano playing which I sadly left behind when a mere 14 years old.
    I have my gardening for fresh air and exercise.
    I've wanted to be an archaeologist from childhood, that obviously never happened.
    I'm not really into joining clubs and classes, I prefer to be solo. I've done enough sport in my life to last me with two marathons and even amateur pentathlon in my younger days. Later I dabbled in Snooker, quite rare for girls and now I have my adaptation of lazyitist.
    The push bike idea may be the answer to that.

    Lucky? I have a roof over my head, a partner, a gorgeous cat, a new car, I'm beside the sea, I'm able to do things as I have my general health and met lovely people on here.
    Yes, I'm extremely lucky! x

  2. #1442
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    So I guess there is some validity as to why my hypnotherapy is working for me. Part of me wonders if it's just a placebo affect (which I'm OK with because if it works, I don't care why it works!) but I had a hunch there had to be a deeper explanation as to why it's been so successful for me. During our first session, he "de-traumatized" me, and in the two sessions since then he has put me into a deep state of meditation and then softly feeds my unconscious with positive thoughts and images. I have mentioned to him that sometimes I don't hear everything he's saying, and he says it doesn't matter, I don't even need to listen because it's my unconscious he's speaking to. And when he was de-traumatizing me, after the session I told him that I didn't feel like I had enough preparation to think of the things that I wanted to erase from memory, and he told me I didn't need to think of them: that my unconscious was doing the work and I was not to focus on anything - my deeper self was bringing up the things I wanted to forget.

    I'm not sure it would work for everyone, but since I want it to work and I am open-minded to it, it's helped me tremendously. The real test will be the trip on Saturday and the week away from home, but it's 3 days away and I've hardly even thought about it, except to check off things on my "To Do" list to get the house ready for my departure.

    Keep reading, sounds like you're onto something good!
    Sue

  3. #1443
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Sue, have you heard of Affirmations and Visualisations?
    This could well help you with your trip and you have just enough time to try it.
    The best time to try is just before you go to sleep in to what they call our alpha state.
    You imagine going through the journey in your mind, but obviously it runs smoothly with no anxiety. Visualise every step until you arrive at your destination with no hiccups or signs of anxiety.
    Also you picture yourself calm and in control. You could even imagine your luggage coming through quickly.
    You can do this on immediately waking up as well.
    It's a worth a try with nothing to lose.

    The weather yesterday was horrendous and ended up staying in all day. I used it to catch up on house chores, which ended up boring me no end.
    My sore throat has gone and I'm left with sinus issues, so it could well have been that.
    With the extreme wind we have been having it still could be pollen affecting me, but I'm just happy it's not flu.

    Mr C and I are off out all day and I've already tried the affirmation and visualisation to see if it will help.
    I'm going to try it with my driving too.
    I suppose it's a bit like hypnotising yourself.

    Mr C has been giving me advice on how to overcome my fears, (bless him). Like you say, they don't tell you anything you don't already know. But I let him think he's helping.
    I hear myself saying, "But you don't understand", every day and most of the day.
    The other one is, "if it was that simple, I wouldn't still have anxiety" and "You don't know how I feel and how it affects me" is another favourite.
    Anyway, we plod on in our own little world.
    Hopefully by the time you come back from your seamless and painless trip I will have finished the book.
    I'm even visualising a smooth trip for you Sue. x

  4. #1444
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Thanks for visualizing on my behalf - maybe it's like saying a prayer for others! Can't hurt and will probably help!

    Yes, I have heard about imagery and visualizing, he uses it a lot in our hypnosis. That's actually what the hypnosis sessions consist of: he gets me in that very relaxed state, then starts speaking softly about all the wonderful things that are going to happen and has me picturing it all.

    I woke up this morning either dreaming I was having an anxiety attack, or I actually was having an anxiety attack as I woke up - really can't figure out which it was but since they both went on inside of my head I guess it doesn't make much difference. So of course that is disappointing and scaring me, but I laid there trying to tell myself it was normal, it was nothing to fear, and I should let it happen and let it pass. I finally got up and tried to distract myself, but the feeling of anxiety is still in there and when I am not throwing myself into research and reading, it's right back up there front and center on my mind.

    Of course I want to ask "WHY?" but of course I do have some very valid reasons for feeling anxious so shouldn't be surprised (yet I am). I am going to a family dinner/birthday event tonight and those always cause some anxiety, even though for the past few years it's been a LOT less anxiety-provoking than it used to be so I didn't think it was bothering me. And I'm making a MAJOR change to my haircolor in a few hours, which I'm also stressing about because I've been going back and for for a few days on exactly what I want to do with it. I know that's a trivial thing, but I'm sure I'll hear comments about it tonight at dinner, and then I'm heading to my daughter's where she is planning some sort of surprise for me that I THINK involves picture-taking, so if my hair comes out horribly, that will be a disaster. And lastly, of course, is the upcoming trip. It really hasn't been causing me any anxiety that I've sensed which is unusual but I figured the hypnosis session took care of that because the trip is what I asked him to work on. Yesterday I woke up energetic and upbeat. I was a ball of energy all day and got so much accomplished, and all in a good mood. Perhaps that's my new response to underlying anxiety? And maybe today is the fallout from that whirlwind day?

    Right now I'm going to focus on saying "Yup, you have anxiety, always have, always will, no need to analyze it, just keep pushing through and remember that it will pass eventually. Stop figuring out the reasons and justifications, it's there, it's part of you, and you can't change that. And if it gets really bad, you have your emergency stash of tranquilizers."

    The good news is, when I was working I would probably need to take 3 or 4 of those per week (some weeks more) and since I retired I think I've only taken three in the past 6 months. Definitely progress!

    Ah, yes, our wonderful, supportive spouses. They really do want to help so badly, but if they have never experienced it, there is no way they can help or even start to comprehend what we go through. And I'm sure they get frustrated with us at times, too, but on the other hand I think my husband almost likes it when I'm going through bad spells (physically or mentally) because that's when he can step up, be my strength, my helper, my caretaker, etc. His "Love Language" is acts of service, and when I'm feeling poorly, he gets the chance to put that into full gear which makes him feel fulfilled. So glad I can accommodate.

    I hope your day out was painless and uneventful, and that maybe, just maybe, you even enjoyed a tiny bit of it? OK, maybe now I'm pushing it.

    Cheers to all. Next time you hear from me, I'm going to be a blonde!
    Sue

  5. #1445
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    I'm not sure if it was my affirmation and visualisation, but I definitely noticed a massive improvement yesterday.
    The fact I was out for 5 hours as well, there could be something in this A&V.
    Yes, there were a couple of moments of OMG I feel faint, but they were literally moments.
    We drove about ten miles to a town that we go to once in a while. And as I ventured in to a shop that I normally feel iffy about, I was surprised to feel quite the opposite.
    What a difference it makes when you feel almost normal.
    The same with the next shop. The third shop was the iffy one, but I had what you call bad vibes in there, so left quite briskly. I then carried on through the town until we stopped for tea and cake. This is where I use the toilets.
    I even noticed a difference there. I'm normally very anxious about locking doors, especially rooms with no windows. This was one of them which adorns a massive mirror which I try to avoid for fear of a flushed face or looking pale. I normally keep my head down to avoid any eye contact with it. I also normally rush the job in hand so I can get out as quickly as possible.
    Not this day. I didn't have that usual skip of the heartbeat when locking the door and the first thing I did was look in the mirror. My hair was all over the place because of the windy day, so I tidied it in to place with my hands. I straightened out my clothes and stared at myself in the mirror. Ok, no oil painting, but I was quite relaxed with the reflection and a rare smile broke out on my face. I was doing something I rarely do and that was taking pride in myself.
    So after leaving the loo, I felt quite pleased with myself. But that was short lived in my next shop where I had my second whoosh of panic. Bearing in mind this is a massive improvement to my normal stance where my state can normally be for the whole duration of going out or just wanting to get back home.
    And I have to add that the whoosh was caused by a sales assistant at the checkout that seemed like she had purse lips tighter than a monkeys bum. she made me feel very uncomfortable, hardly spoke and I got bad vibes from her. And it is mainly the people not the place that sends me in to one.
    Got over that, but weirdly I would normally want to go home but I was quite happy to meander around a bit more.
    And when we got home, we picked up some fish and chips to finish off the day.
    So on the basis of that I did some more Affirmations and Visualisations before I went to sleep last night including imagining driving my car. I find you fall asleep before finishing, which is actually the point of the exercise.
    This is something I've never tried before and I'm willingly giving it ago. It's easy to do, takes no time at all, you don't even have to find a slot in your day as it's just before sleep. I'm going to stick with it and see how it goes.

    Sue, I also woke up the night in some sort of state with remnants of a panic attack while I was asleep. I know I had a bad dream and I remember it quite clearly as it had remnants of my real life in it which was turned into more of horror nightmare.
    You could say I had a good day and a bad night. But it's an improvement on a bad night and a bad day.

    Sue, I admire all these events and trips you go on. I don't think you realise how well you are doing. I know a lot of readers will be a gasp at your schedule of events.
    And I think changing your hair colour is a brilliant decision and you know what they say? "Blondes have more fun!"
    Last edited by Carnation; 16-08-19 at 11:26.

  6. #1446
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Wow, Mrs. C!!!! What a great day you had! Whatever you're doing, keep doing it! Like anything, it takes practice, but now that you've found something that's easy to do and seems like it could be the key to success, keep doing it. And expect set backs and failures, but try not to be too upset by them. We're not going to lick this issue overnight, and realistically we probably won't ever completely get rid of it. I think it's probably almost better to have subtle, occasional reminders of our anxiety so that it doesn't knock us off our feet when the recurrences and setbacks do happen. We don't ever want to get too cocky in thinking anxiety and panic will never happen again because of course it will.... we are human and we have an anxiety disorder.

    Yes, I am proud that I am able to do things that some others can't, but I also still strive to be as "normal" as some other people who don't have to suffer at all while doing them. I should learn to be thankful for what I have accomplished and not compare myself to others. But why do we have to suffer over such seemingly simple things?

    For example, on the ride to the birthday party last night, I was so fatigued that I couldn't imagine how I was going to get through the next 3 hours of being sociable. And walking into the restaurant and sitting down to look at the menu I was really struggling because my head and body just wanted to be lying down. I didn't know if it was true fatigue or if it was anxiety, it could have been either, or both. So I ordered a mild alcoholic beverage, and after a few sips, I started to come to life. Was it the sugar spike from the drink? Or was it the sedative affect of the drink? Whatever the case, that one drink (I didn't even finish it) got me through the rest of the night, and I pulled it off without anyone knowing that I was not enjoying it like they all seemed to be.

    Anyway, a little anxious today but I'm telling myself that anyone, even NORMAL people, would be a little anxious. I have a lot of preparation and packing to do today in order for me to be able to leave tomorrow. And I will be hanging onto this forum and this thread as a lifeline while I'm on my trip, I will be logging on often, have computer, will travel!

    Happy visualizations to all of us tonight!
    Sue

  7. #1447
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    I think my affirmations are calming me so much that I overslept and didn't wake up until 11am!
    Before I went to sleep I said over and again, "I am calm, I feel calm, I have nothing to fear, I will be calm and feel relaxed, I will not feel scared because I am calm".
    And the first result was the sleep in, the second result was a 8 mile drive, which I haven't managed to achieve since anxiety and to sum up my day, I felt calm all day, no anxiety or panic and felt almost normal today.
    I am enjoying the driving and did a visualisation also before I went to sleep imagining I was driving the car smiling and enjoying it and when I did it for real, it was just as my visualisation.
    I'm not saying I'm cured, but this practice seems to be making a difference. There may be a psychological affect, but if I can see a vast improvement so quickly, then I'm in for doing this all the time.
    I've had a lovely day, I've felt alive and was able to do so much today.
    I still have a lot of demons to challenge like my monophobia, my phobias, driving longer distances, dual carriageways and driving on my own, my OCD and fears, but today was an inspiration to me.

    Sue, you are probably on your way by now or even arrived at your destination. I hope your travelling and your trip is as easy sailing as my wonderful calm day today.

  8. #1448
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Way to go, Mrs. C! If hypnotherapy works for me, and visualization works for you, I think we're onto something here! And I don't even care how or why it works, just that it does!

    I have arrived and already spent one night at my destination. I spent 12 hours traveling (between the 2.5 hour ride to the airport, 1.5 hours at the airport, and 6.5 hours in the air. Then time deplaning and gathering luggage, 30 minutes to my daughter's house, and final destination! The grandkids are absolutely delightful, loving, and exhausting. I did great - very little anxiety, but now my body needs to adjust to all that time on the plane, and the time difference. We were up til midnight (daughter's time) which was 3:00 a.m. (my time) so I'm sure I'm going to feel "off" for a day or two.

    My daughter told me she's planned a surprise for tomorrow night: she hired a photographer to meet us at a sunflower field for some photos. Of course I'm going to stress about looking my best, but I'm going to just relax and enjoy it. I doubt I'm going to get much time to practice my meditation for the next week, but who knows, maybe even 60 seconds while I lock myself in the bathroom will have to do.

    Keep up the good work, Mrs. C!
    Sue

  9. #1449
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Brilliant Sue Well Done!
    You enjoy every moment and maybe just before you go to sleep, congratulate yourself on your achievements, remind yourself of your worth and reassure yourself that you are capable and will approach everthing with a calm manner. x

    I've had a really busy day, so busy that I missed posting again this morning. I spent the morning landscaping the garden, then edged Mr C to take a drive out to a country village to visit a popular antiques shop and on the way back got some shopping which I took in my stride. Wasn't too happy they had run out of decaf tea, but proves how many people are on the stuff now.
    Got back home to finish the landscaping which was testing my strength and my heart and finished up by making me and Mr C a nice steak dinner.

    I drove again today and I think I've finally got my mojo back. I love it and love the car. why the hell didn't we change the car ages ago?
    If something is not working for you, change it!
    I'm using Visualisation to give me confidence and I'm imagining and picturing driving the car.
    I'm actually using visualisation and affirmation with a lot of things that I normally struggle with like shopping, being out of my normal comfort zone etc. But I still have a massive struggle with people!
    I haven't used affirmation on that yet and I have my particular regular people that send shivers of fear up my spine, but I have it with the general public too. Not everyone, it's a gut feeling about certain individuals that sends alert to my brain that tells me to 'get the hell outta there'.
    The other thing I have noticed two days into my A&V is my energy. It may be a coincidence, but we'll see.
    Apparently when you get the hang of it and become more relaxed and in tune with your mind and body you can use this method anytime of the day. Which would be very helpful just before a meeting, outing, journey.
    But for the time being I'll stick with just before nigh time.

  10. #1450
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    My affirmating last night was more difficult. I had to tell Mr C several times to stop chatting to me while I was in the zone.
    I find concentrating difficult at the best of times, but when you have your other half constantly asking you questions it's almost impossible to stay relaxed.
    I'm beginning to think that a lot of my stress comes from my other half. He's impatient, airheaded, high maintenance and short fused. But in the same breath he's been my rock too.
    Just wish he wouldn't keep asking, "can you just get me / give me hand" or talk non stop when I'm trying to relax at bedtime.
    He's also got gout again so that means I'm running around fetching and carrying. :(

    Anyway today I felt more shaky and agitated.
    And I still can't get any decaf tea. Seems the whole town is on the stuff.

    But it's not all been down hill today.
    I drove the car tonight, first time in the dark for 5 years.
    Only a couple of miles, searching for decaf tea.
    I did ok, but was a little more nervous, but I did it.

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