Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[Carnation]

By the way, love the phrase 'climbing everest in flip flops', good description.

[Darksky]

I tend to agree with you. I did wonder a few posts back if all this was the aftermath of the last 6 months. Bereavement is stressful, moving house is stressful, tying up relatives affairs is stressful. You've done the lot, one after the other. How can you not be affected?

Youve tried to tackle it head on, maybe try it another way. Get busy doing nothing, let it wash over you and rest, sleep and do the minimum until you feel stronger. Get your sketch pad out, sketch the birds. As for posting, do what you feel is right for you. No one is fed up of you posting, we all want to help. So if you want to release flustration here that's fine, if you want to just chat about random stuff ( not anxiety) that's fine too. Whatever you want.

[DustingMyselfOff]

Hi Mrs. C.
Sorry if my suggestion to see a professional upset you, that was never my intention - the last thing I wanted to do was add more stress and frustration. But when I read your post below, I took it very seriously, and I got scared, and when I get scared, I want immediate action, and something to make the pain stop quickly! You said you felt "something was seriously wrong" and "I don't know how much more I can take" and both of those statements together made me think it was time to get a professional opinion, both to make sure there was nothing physically wrong and put that fear to ease, and "can't take much more" statements always scare the hell out of me.

But it sounds like you've discovered that the root cause for this latest setback is physical and emotional exhaustion, and you're probably right. I hope you get the rest you so greatly deserve and that things start to improve for you soon. You are heard, I do understand, and I can totally relate. I remember the days when I was literally walking while slightly bending my body to one side because I felt like I was always on an uneven surface, and I know all too well what it's like to not want to bend down to pick something up because you're afraid that somewhere between going down and getting back up, you're going to have a head rush that makes you grab for the nearest stable object. And the most embarrassing ones for me are when I am sitting at my desk working and all of a sudden everything swoons and I instinctively and literally bolt my arms out to grab onto something so that I don't fall off my chair. Those are noticeable and people around always say "Oh my goodness, are you alright!?!?!?!?"

I'm here, I hear you, I can relate, and my heart breaks for you and I want so badly to make it all go away for you that maybe sometimes my frustration and anger at this damned anxiety looks like it's directed at you. It's not, I promise.
Sue

"But something in my head is telling me there is something seriously wrong. I feel scared and defeated because none of coping skills or perseverance is changing the way I feel.
I've just been in the car with Mr C and he drove down to the coastline. I was too scared to even get out of the car so we sat and looked at the sea from the car. When we got home, immediately getting out of the car I felt off balance and just thought to myself, "when's it going to stop, I don't know how much more I can take"....."

[Carnation]

Thank you so much for understanding Darksky
You know I'm a fighter, but sometimes natural healing of rest and recuperation is the way to go.
Think I've proved that today.
I stayed in bed doing some light reading, a few posts on here, listening to my affirmations and fell asleep!
I was thinking back to when we cleared his mum's house. On the day we left and cleared it with the removal firm. We spent 6 hours packing, 5 hours driving back in a thunderstorm,(even Mr C was scared of the storm, so black like it was midnight) then another hour unloading, all nonstop. That's 12 hours! It was so late we could only manage beans on toast for dinner.
I like coming on here, it saves me talking to myself, which I do quite a bit these days, even shout at myself when I've done something stupid.
Do you know I was just thinking of getting my sketchpad out again. I took some wonderful photos of butterflies on hydrangeas in the summer. If I work out how I'll try and load some of my sketches on here.
Sending you a hug Darksky

[Carnation]

Lovely Sue
I can see why people grab you to get on board their team.
There's a problem and you want to solve it forthwith.
I suppose I expressed too much of my inner thoughts that can be taken as scary, but true, because I too like to fix things.
I was becoming very frustrated with everything, but I neglected to see the obvious.
How did I not realise this, I've been through it enough times.
You yourself mentioned about a crash once everything had been done. I think you said something like days/weeks /months after hitting a wall, (not those words, but you know what I mean).
Mr C is tired too, he's been sleeping daytime, but he's not having my bed
I'm realise I am lucky to have people like you and Darksky caring, especially when you have your own demons.
I get pms from others too expressing their kindness.
My affirmations are working a treat, great for sending you off to sleep.
Sending hugs to you Sue

[DustingMyselfOff]

Love you, Lady - I'm off to work but was worried you were angry with me. Thanks for relieving that anxiety.
Sue

[Darksky]

I remember you clearing Mr.Cs mothers house well. The anxiety leading up to it, the work day after day, waiting for the removal men, counting the sleeps and the weather on the way back. We all said, yay you've done it, well done. And it was well done but maybe it's payback time. Too much has happened in too short a time.

Would love to see your sketches, If you can't upload them, pm Terry, he'll tell you how. He's always putting stuff up. So he must be pretty tech savvy.

im just planning on popping to my mother tonight and then back to veg out in front of Britains got Talent with a bag of crisps. Awful about Peaky Blinders finishing. What on earth shall we do without a weekly dose of Tommy Shelby.

[Carnation]

Darksy, sounds like you got bad for Tommy

I didn't get up till 4pm today.
At 5pm, the front door bell went. It was our previous nextdoor neighbour. I almost didn't answer for fear of a turn, but I did. She didn't stay long, only ten minutes, she wanted to know if we were all ok. And of course, I said "Yes". (If only she knew).
Just been out in the car with Mr C to get fish and chips and now settled on the sofa watching Strictly and BGT.
I could get used to this routine.

[fishman65]

Carnation, I'm really sorry to hear you have been struggling. Though reading through your thread I can see why you have hit the buffers, especially in light of what has happened in the recent past including your house move. Changing address is one of the most stressful events that we can go through, and you doing 99% of carrying the load is very hard work before we've even factored in that you have anxiety. As others have said here, I think all of that has caught up with you and it is only natural that you have been brought to a dark place. That said you are a fighter indeed and are still here to tell the tale. I think that simple fact in itself says so much about you.

Here's a hug from me and hoping the tide is turning for you

[Carnation]

Thank you fishman, I appreciate that.
I hope life is better for you too.