Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[Carnation]

Yes fishman, gardening should have a health warning

[Carnation]

I'm very pleased to say that my back pain has almost gone! Either I have quick healing muscles or I had embedded trapped wind.
I had an easy day yesterday. Mr C had to pop to a shop, but I waited all wrapped up in the car. Still had 3 people tapped on the window to speak to me, which was kind, but even that made me anxious.
We finished up with a drive to the coast and I got out and stood by the sea doing some of those breathing exercises so many of us find difficult to do.
I'm so loving this cooler weather. Wrapping up gives me greater comfort and sleeping is far more cosy.
So today we have a few things to do that means going out in the big wide world. And I get anxious before I even put a foot outside the front door. So I'm going to do a batch load of affirmations beforehand.
Sending positivity to all of you out there

[Carnation]

I had my usual high anxiety most of the day yesterday, probably because I knew I was going out.
And going out wasn't enjoyable at all, but I didn't have a panic attack, just what felt like a ton of adrenalin and anxiousness. My first port of call, I could actually feel my legs shaking inside, I might as well have been wearing a pair of stilts. The person I saw asked me if I had a bad leg because I think I was standing peculiar to steady myself.
But he didn't say I looked ill, so that's a bonus.
The leg shaking calmed down and we carried on with the other visits, but I skipped out of queueing in the PO and on my request we drove to the coast to sit by the sea again.
I always feel better once I have returned to base and I'm thinking that maybe I shouldn't make plans and just go out on the spur of the moment, because of this anticipatory anxiety.
As for my lightheadedness, it comes and goes and I'm assuming it's a buildup of anxiety and adrenalin.
I've had a few days of relief and what a welcome to know it's not a permanent state.

[DustingMyselfOff]

I absolutely agree that the anticipatory anxiety is what plagues most of us, and unfortunately keeps our bodies and minds in a pretty much constant state of heightened anxiety. We don't ever fully relax and let go because we always have something on the near horizon that is going to require us to go out and do things we don't want to do. If I'm feeling good and energetic and am able to just get up and go out at that moment, it works beautifully. But as soon as I make a commitment to another person to do something in the future, the anxiety count-down starts ticking. And it increases as the event gets closer. I don't know if there is any solution to that problem --- I guess it's pretty much a fact of life that we have to accept.

What's been somewhat successful for me and something I still use when it creeps up is to say "So what?!" So I picture the horrible things that could happen at the upcoming event and then follow it with "So what? Big deal. Who cares?" In the large scope of things, there are lots of bigger things going on in the world that are much more serious than our anxiety so if my biggest problem is the upcoming family celebration, I'm a lucky girl.

Anyway, sorry you had a high-anxiety day, but at least you know why you had it and know that "this too shall pass".
Sue

[Carnation]

Hi Sue,

Think we all need a few more "So Whats", but we tend to think, "what's wrong"?

I stayed in yesterday and my duvet had most of my company. I still seem very tired. I dropped off to sleep twice and felt better for it.
Although this virus is sapping most of my energy.
The trouble with staying in is your more likely to be on your phone more searching for all the cures to life's miseries. I have this pain that comes and goes under my left breast and the stabbing pain comes if I twist round too quickly. I might only have once in the day, then nothing for days/weeks and then it pops up again. This has been going on for 5 years and first started when I twisted around to put my jacket on the back of my chair. It's like a severe cramping. And because it goes away I've never bothered following it up. I'm also inclined to do very strenuous activity in the garden as mentioned before.
But it's another niggle, another worry.
Just like my ongoing gum issues, ear problems, sinuses, acid reflux......
And this is nothing compared to what some people have, but the need to have a perfect working body is drummed into us by constant reminders from the media.
I like to use food for most cures, but honestly if I ate everything I need to cure every ailment, I'd be stuffing myself ALL day!
But that quote, 'everything in moderation' with 'A little of what you fancy' steads me well.
Life would be just too dull without the occasional piece of cake, chocolate, beer, wine or brandy.

Back to my relapse, which is turning out to be quite a stinker! Probably my worst one yet. And of course the brain wants to pinpoint the reasons and there are so many to choose from, it's near enough impossible to find out.
I know my health anxiety has alot to do with it too.
But I'm inclined to think it's mainly worry.
I do worry about so much, but when bigger worries come along added to the daily worry norm, the poor brain can't cope. We just want to hide away from the world so nothing else can get to us.
How on earth do we stop worrying?
As for the physical symptoms...
Lightheadedness, I'll rephrase that, it's like a wonky head feeling with cloudy vision, well that's returned again, but not as bad as before.
Still feeling the adrenalin love, but muscle twitching has calmed down. Bouts of the shivers, that's come in to play, but the twitchy eye has stopped.
I've told Mr C I just don't want to do anything I don't want to do at the moment. I got a weird look from him, but I'm used to that.
And because I am spending alot of time indoors I'm doing those chores that get neglected or forgotten. It can get boring, but I'd rather be bored than riddled with anxiety.
I'm building up my confidence with short manageable trips that don't push me too far.
I'm getting air and gentle exercise, so I don't have to worry about that as well.
I've also decided to stop watching live tv. I record everything that interests me and fast forward those disturbing adverts.
I must be in my 3rd week of affirmations. Even if it is a physiological effect, its no waste to listen when going about your business.
I do my gratitudes before going to sleep and listen to a App before nodding off.
I am doing my best to look after me! Mr C is even doing lunch now.

[DustingMyselfOff]

I still have, or have caught again, some sort of cold or virus that I picked up during my trip to the west coast.... it was fading away and now it's back with a vengeance. Luckily I am off this weekend because starting Monday, I will be working 7 out of 8 days, so I imagine I will need quite the crash when that is over!

I commented to my husband last night that there is nothing like crashing on the couch after taking a long, hot shower at the end of a very busy, active, productive work day. And he commented that I seemed to really be throwing myself into my new job, which we all know, is what I do. Nothing in a small way, all in or nothing at all. Right now I am truly enjoying it and find myself being involved in the group texts that go on all hours of the day regarding the care of the animals, and I am researching all kinds of medical information and possible solutions to better the shelter. It sure beats researching my own health issues!

Will this pace wear me down and have a negative affect on me? Possibly, but for now, I'm enjoying the commitment and sense of purpose and teamwork that goes into keeping the shelter running. If it gets to be too much at some point, then I leave or cut back. But as I told hubby yesterday, I much prefer this physical labor in jeans and sneakers than the brain-work I was doing in high heels and accessorized jewelry in the corporate world!

I have felt twinges of adrenaline and physical symptoms of anxiety, but I now recognize that those are creeping up when I am over-tired, so I am trying to make sure I get quality rest/sleep. And when they do creep up, I tell myself it's simply because I'm tired and that they will disappear when I am rested again. The stories we tell ourselves!

Take care of yourself, Mrs. C, and do whatever feels right for YOU.
Sue

[Carnation]

There's that "take care" again. What does it actually mean? my dad used to say that to me every time I walked out of the front door like I was about to meet Mr death!

Anyway, glad you like your new job Sue, but you know my advice on not being taken advantage of. As long as you are enjoying it and not saying to yourself, "oh no, I've got to go in tomorrow and I don't feel like it."
And there's a simple answer if you do get to that stage, you just leave. So either way, you are in control. x

[DustingMyselfOff]

Hi Mrs. C.
Actually, I said "take care of yourself and do whatever feels right for YOU." Meaning, if you think rest and limiting outings is what your body and mind need right now, that's what you should do. If you feel like you need to push yourself to do something at times, then do it. Only YOU know what will feel right and no one else can or should try to tell you how to treat yourself. You, too, are in control.
Sue

[Carnation]

Got it!

[Mrsmitchell1984]

Wishing you a good night Carnation and a good day tomorrow