Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[Mrsmitchell1984]

Hi Mrs M
Yes, I watched a film. 'Rocket Man', Elton John.
Did a bit of weeding in the garden. Tidied house while listening to my affirmations.
I do read, but didn't get round to any yesterday, too many distractions from Mr C. x

Aw I want to see that film- was it good? What affirmations do you listen to? Oh no what sort of distractions? Xxx

[YoullNeverWalkAlone]

Hi carnation, how ya doing, sounds like your feeling a little better which is good, it’s not a bad day here so I’m going to get my coat on and go tackle the garden, don’t know whether to do the front first or the back. Been for a walk this morning but having trouble with sciatic nerve so slows me down a bit, honestly you try and do something proactive, like daily walks and something else pops up and stops you...anyway hope your having a good day... lots of love x

[Carnation]

Hi You'llNeverWalkAlone

I'm always worry about saying I feel better for fear of tempting fate, but there's a definite improvement to what I was a few weeks ago.
Anxiety has a habit of reminding you it's there. The occasional twitch, head zap, feeling hot, unexplained pain.
It's a stubborn blighter.

Did you manage to get in the garden? If it was me and my bulldozing manner, I would have attempted both. That's something I need to rectify, trying to do everything at once.

Sciatic nerve is very painful. 4 years ago I experienced sciatic when turning too quick and I was left with what felt like a minor paralysis. Worst pain ever!

I managed a walk last night and noticed my sight is much better in the dark. Its that sensitivity to light that makes my vision distorted as explained in so many books I read.
It's not because of losing your sight. I had this checked out last year and the Optician was very happy with my eyesight. I felt like saying to him, why do I have blurry vision then? But realised it was a complexed issue with anxiety and tunnel vision is the same culprit of the dragon.
Apparently, it's our fight or flight mode.

Mrs M, the film was quite good. I do prefer biog films to musicals though. Elton is an interesting character, it's definitely worth a watch.

As for my affirmations. I listen to Louise Hay in the morning when getting ready, it's under positive affirmations and 50 minutes long.
If I am panicky, I listen to Jason Stephenson 'positive affirmations' and sometimes use that one before going to bed.
I do my gratitudes before going to sleep and try to wake with a positive attitude.
My anxiety tends to put me in a depressive state, so I try to deal with that first.
Get rid of the dark cloud first, then you can deal with the anxiety. But it is difficult to know which one comes first, like the chicken and the egg.

My thing at the moment is excessive wind. Oh my, both endd, all day long. Stomach feels like it's carrying a baby kangaroo and it's kicking!
I'm having strange toilet routines too. Going twice a day, sometimes 3 times! So alot of my day is hanging around the loo. Sorry, probably tmi.
Hopefully if I go out, my system will behave.

Sending hugs to everyone, as we sure do need them.

[Mrsmitchell1984]

Hi Carnation, good to hear you are thinking about saying it’s a good time now- that is good
in itself.

not a TMI at all- it makes me feel normal and that I am not the only one going through this. I hope
you have a good day today xxxx

[Carnation]

Morning Mrs M


My analysis of these relapses is you just can't put a time on its recovery. The same with depression.
Recovery will also depend on how much upset you have along the way. That's where I think the two step forward, one step back comes from and sometimes it's one step forward, two steps back.
Both conditions are inclined to lift when you least expect it to, very suddenly and rapidly.

Take my day yesterday. Mr C wanted to go out as he was becoming a bit stir crazy. He also had to pick up his mum's ashes, not the most pleasant of duties.
I clinch and dread just at the thought of making the effort.
So I get in the car almost forlorn looking and say to anxiety, "there's no way out of this, you'll just have to tag along with what I need to do".
Mr C asked who I was talking to, thinking it was himself.
"No, I said, I'm talking to my anxiety, I replied.
We first had to get a few bits from the mini supermarket.
"Here we go" I thought as I walked through the door, hardly able to get past for people.
Grabbed a basket. I like the basket carrying, it gives me something to concentrate on.
Kept focused on the items I wanted, then the assistant stopped to chat. I have a trick for grounding myself, I lean my hip slightly to one side to show my body I'm in stay put mode. Anyway, I was absolutely fine, even getting to the counter and packing and a further chat with the cashier.
Walked out with a smile on my face.
We then went to a shop where I tend to have my worst anxiety. So I said to myself, "If I collapse, I collapse", I'm so fed up with worrying about it. Obviously I didn't want to collapse and every book I read says collapsing is not what anxiety does, it wants you to fight or runaway.
So in I go, forgetting it was half term, heaving with people, and noisy. Did what we had to do and left. No panic attack, just a relief to get out, which is pretty normal under the circumstances.
Then Mr C wanted to go in the charity shops and I turned to him and said, "do you think I've done enough for today?
"No, he said, you can do this".
Very reluctantly I made the way over to the shops, I couldn't have walked any slower and as soon as I stepped over the threshold, the shop assistant said, "I haven't seen you for a long time". Here we go, I thought. I quickly replied, "I've had a virus", which was true. Then I thought stupidly she would say I didn't look too well, but she didn't to my surprise.
My depression tends to give me dark circles around my eyes and you just can't hide them.
So did that shop and another and another and another, then went on to get the ashes. I decided to wait in the car for that one.
We came home, had a cup of tea and a piece of cake and then went for a walk as the sun went down.
I had a very successful day with little anxiety and no panic.
It will be interesting to see how today pans out, but for now I'm more than pleased with my success.

[Carnation]

Almost forgot to mention. I've started the CBT workbook, free on this Forum.
I've never tried CBT Before, but thought I'll give it a go.
Being 'free' is a good reason to try anyway.
Well I'm on book 2 at present and one of the things that amazed was about the breathing exercises that we are told to do so much by so many.
This book is saying not to do them. Obviously if you are doing meditating or yoga and stuff like that, then that's different. But apparently it's one of our coping methods that just keeps us in that loop. I can't do them anyway when highly anxious or in panic mode. They either make me more lightheaded or I don't have the breath to do it.
That's why I adopted the nostril breathing instead.
But we need to push through the barrier of fear, even accommodating it. Like carrying a bottle of water everywhere I go, taking sips everytime I feel anxious and doing nothing but giving me wind and making me urgent for the loo. Again, obviously good to have on a hot summer's day, but winter? We are not going to die because we haven't had any water for a couple of hours.
So I kept it in the car but didn't touch it.
These days, most shops will give you a glass of water anyway if the situation should arise.
The other thing I do is carry my mobile everywhere with me around the house, even to the loo.
I've stopped doing this. It's just fuelling my anxiety. And it's a relief not to have the heavy apparatus attached to my persons. The waves cannot be good for us either.
Sunglasses. Off they've come. Obviously if the sun is really bright I use them, but I've been wearing them too much living my day in darkness. I also need my eyes to get adjusted to the natural sunlight. But wearing a hat is usually suffice for that this time of year and 'Baker Boy' hats are so cool.
So I've let alot of my safety measures go including leaning on walls, sitting down at the sight of a seat.
As for the Therapists? Haven't heard back from them, but was I keen? Not really. Tried that. Just as well, some sessions cost £100+ and that's just taking advantage and I don't like that one little bit.
You can talk to the Samaritans and God for nothing!
So, we'll see how it all goes.

Sending positivity and love to you all. x

[Mrsmitchell1984]

Wow Carnation - How brave you are and you did really well. Well done you.

I have just started taking the CBT4panic course too and it is helpful- but yes is surprised me about the breathing thing too. I am pleased to see you can still do during meditation etc- I was worried that I couldn’t do it at all.


I go to a therapist for CBT but it is £60 per session which is a lot of money. It has helped me with one of my relapses before - with the same therapist. So I am hoping it will help again. She helped me get over PTSD before and sole
OCD. Completely cured both. But, the depression and anxiety are pretty nasty this time around. I think probably because of the taking medication. How amazing you have coped with anxiety without any medication and no therapist- you must be very strong. Have you had anxiety for many years on and off? Xx

[Carnation]

Over 5 years Mrs M.
But probably longer than that thinking back.
I have always been a anxious person and low in confidence.
Yes, the CBT helping. It's all about understanding and the knowledge.
I was diagnosed with PTSD, depression and General Anxiety. Have phobias too.
Well done for overcoming PTSD and OCD Mrs M
I lost my faithful therapist when I moved, but it was just chat and confidence building, it was more like having a friend to chat too. At the end of the day, you have to do the work yourself.
I suppose I am strong, but vulnerable at the same time.
My parents were not around for me much when I was a child due to my mum's cancer, so survival became second nature.
I have a phobia of meds, that's why I don't use them. I'm also have an addictive nature, so I opt not to use them.
Never even taken antibiotics or painkillers.
The downside to that is feeling pain raw and taking longer to heal.
I can hear you are working hard on this Mrs M and that's a good sign. It's the first step to recovery.
When feeling down about everything, just listen to Claire Weekes on the internet. She explains everything so well. x

[Mrsmitchell1984]

Over 5 years Mrs M.
But probably longer than that thinking back.
I have always been a anxious person and low in confidence.
Yes, the CBT helping. It's all about understanding and the knowledge.
I was diagnosed with PTSD, depression and General Anxiety. Have phobias too.
Well done for overcoming PTSD and OCD Mrs M
I lost my faithful therapist when I moved, but it was just chat and confidence building, it was more like having a friend to chat too. At the end of the day, you have to do the work yourself.
I suppose I am strong, but vulnerable at the same time.
My parents were not around for me much when I was a child due to my mum's cancer, so survival became second nature.
I have a phobia of meds, that's why I don't use them. I'm also have an addictive nature, so I opt not to use them.
Never even taken antibiotics or painkillers.
The downside to that is feeling pain raw and taking longer to heal.
I can hear you are working hard on this Mrs M and that's a good sign. It's the first step to recovery.
When feeling down about everything, just listen to Claire Weekes on the internet. She explains everything so well. x

Oh wow- why are you lacking in confidence? Your mum has cancer when you were little? Wow that’s awful- do you have any brothers or sisters?

Phobias of meds- yes that is very common. Anti depressants are not addictive though - that put me off of them at first. You can get liquid forms too- if it’s a problem with tablets.

Oh which CLAIRE Weekes do you listen to? I’m a big fan?

i am feeling like no one understands my condition today. I was feeling a bit lower- I think due to the weather and exhaustion - but everyone today keeps saying - you need to find something that interests you and takes your mind off of how you feel- but isn’t depression the lack of interest and not being able to take your mind off things. My mum keeps saying that my husband will leave me if I don’t hurry up and sort myself out.

[DustingMyselfOff]

Hi Gang.
Today was my only day off in my eight day working spree so I thought I'd stop by and say "Hello". I'm still liking the job but will be glad when we hire another person so that I can go back to the regular hours I'm supposed to be working and skip all these extra shifts. My anxiety has been ramping up the past few days, as well as some physical symptoms, and I really, truly believe it's because I had to stop taking brand name thyroid drugs and go back to generic ones, thanks to my insurance. This is how I constantly felt the last time I took generic and it all disappeared when I switched to brand name. My doctor has reached out to my insurance company to inform them that I simply can not take the generic brand so we're waiting to see if they will help cover the cost of brand name or if I'm going to have to bite the bullet and do it myself, but I don't want to feel like this all the time so one way or another, I hope to be back on the thyroid drugs that DO work for me.

I also have a slight cold that is lingering, and the only symptom that is driving me crazy is the itchy throat as soon as I try to go to sleep. It tickles so bad that I have to cough violently, and this keeps going all night long. As a result, I haven't been getting much sleep. I keep lozenges by my bed and putting one in my mouth helps immediately, but I'm scared that if I fall asleep with a lozenge in my mouth I may choke! Tonight I will crank up a humidifier and may even take a nighttime cold med to knock me out --- this old body needs some sleep, especially since I am onto another 6 days straight of work.

My husband has been out of town for 10 days so I've caught a nice little break.... I love my alone time and it's been a relief to work so hard and not have to worry about coming home and thinking about dinner, being chatty, etc. He's back tomorrow though, so my little "vacation" is over. I guess my nights of eating junk food for dinner ends tonight.

Anyway, I am so thrilled to hear about your progress, Mrs. C. You managed those shops (and Mr. C) like a pro, and you won this round! Take that, anxiety! We are warriors - we may bend but we never break!
Sue