Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[Carnation]

Thanks Mrs M and your kind words too. x: hugs:

[DustingMyselfOff]

Very glad you've had some good experiences lately, but please be ready because we all know all too well that with every two steps forward comes one step backward. Expect it, be prepared for it, and shrug it off when it happens.

[Carnation]

Oh yes Sue, we know too well how anxiety can sit in the background then attack us when we think we are ok.
I'm getting to know it's weaknesses quite well.
It doesn't like laughter, singing, dancing, smiling, sleeping, exercise, socialising, walking, healthy food and being ignored.
You could generally say it's a miserable bugger!

[Mrsmitchell1984]

Oh yes Sue, we know too well how anxiety can sit in the background then attack us when we think we are ok.
I'm getting to know it's weaknesses quite well.
It doesn't like laughter, singing, dancing, smiling, sleeping, exercise, socialising, walking, healthy food and being ignored.
You could generally say it's a miserable bugger!

I love this!!

[Carnation]

Good morning Mrs M and wishing you a good day

[Mrsmitchell1984]

Wishing you a good day too Carnation xxxx

[Carnation]

The weather was horrendous yesterday, so stayed in, but decided to tackle the boxes in the garage yesterday which turned me in to Mrs Grumpy again.
I don't mind stuff, but I like it in order and it looks like Mr C has been having a pillow fight in there.
He has a habit of looking for something and turning the place over in the process.
So there I was reorganising the whole garage. By the time I had finished, I felt like doing absolutely nothing afterwards, so that's what I did.

I did my hour long affirmations as usual, which I almost do from memory now and slumped on the sofa for the rest of the day. Why does everything I watch seem to have someone dying in it? A health anxiety trigger for me.

So, we have an extra hour and I will be saying, "It's really such an such time", and my stomach will not know the new time schedule and neither does my cat.

It's a lovely sunny day today, so I might pop out later.
My anxiety state seems stable and I've been trying my best to stop those safety habits.
Rushing to open a window when hot.
Carrying my phone everywhere.
Going outside when I'm agitated.
Drinking masses of water.
Constantly thinking I need the loo and when I get there nothing happens.
Checking myself in the mirror to see if I look ok.
Feel my face to check how hot I am.
Keeping myself busy when I'm feeling agitated.
Testing myself to see if I am swaying.
Eating meals on the exact same time everyday to prevent me from collapsing.
Rushing chores in the kitchen and bathroom for fear of something bad might happen.
Looking at the floor when I walk.
Not panicking when my stomach gurgles.
Oh, the list is endless and maybe so familiar to some of you. They've all become habits that apparently keep me in an anxiety state.
Saying that, initially they helped me to get through the day, but when they become a habit, it tells the brain you are still in that zone and as a result you are a caught in a never ending circle of anxiety and panic.

I remember my mum carrying around smelling salts in her bag for when she felt, as she said, "iffy."
She did that for 40 years. I think my gran recommended it.
At the time I didn't really understand it, but now I know it was a tool for those moments when you feel out of sorts.
For my mum, that was nearly everyday. But it never stopped her from doing anything and she was much better for the doing than sitting around. She retired at age of 77.
I think it is important to stay active. Even if you don't have a job, to find things to do and stop us wallowing in our state. x

[DustingMyselfOff]

We have your horrendous weather today: dark, cold, rainy, gloomy. But I'm hoping that means there won't be too many people visiting the humane society shelter today. It was crazy busy yesterday and being short-staffed,it was a hectic 6 hours.

Yes, staying busy and having a commitment to something helps my health anxiety tremendously. For example, the past few mornings I would wake up, sip my first cup of coffee, and take notice of all the physical signs and symptoms that were bothering me. If I had no where I had to be that day, I would have continued to watch them, notice them, dwell on them, and of course make them worse, but since I've had to shrug them off and get up and out of the house, the symptoms seem to disappear, or at least take a back seat. It's amazing how I feel like a completely "normal", healthy person while bustling around at work, but the minute I sit down at home to relax, I notice some ailments and discomforts.

I think a happy medium is the key. When I was working full time I was definitely burnt out, stressed, and exhausted all the time. Part time, in something less stressful, seems to be working. So I will continue to do that as long as it is, and if it starts to be problematic or stressful or tiring, I will pull in the reigns.

You'll be proud, Mrs. C.... I pro-actively announced yesterday that I would not be able to take on any extra shifts next week before they even asked. Time to get myself to my doctor's appointments and tests and keep my health and myself first on my list.

Yes, our partners can drive us mad. My husband always has to have the right tool for the right job, but he never puts anything away again! So his tools are all over the place, and the mess he made looking for them sits there.
Sue

[Mrsmitchell1984]

Great to see you are making progress still Carnation.

i can definitely relate to a l out not the safety behaviours you mention- in fact they are frighteningly similar- no wonder we both have had anxiety.

xxxx

[Carnation]

Hi Sue

Well done you! For standing your ground and taking control and more importantly, putting yourself first!
Do you feel guilty? Of course you do. I can just see their face with a turned down smile. But! This is the only way they will kick butt and look for extra staff, otherwise down the line it will be the tiredness that pushes you out and not the job.
Sometimes when you show passion for a job, the bosses think, "Ahhhh, let's pile on more shit.
I was once a bookshop manager and after about 6 months got asked to a meeting where they told me they wanted me to manage a bigger shop of theres. My heart sank as I'd worked hard building and shaping the one I already had and got to know the customers and staff.
"Oh no, they said, we don't want you to leave there, we want you to do both!" And like a fool, I agreed.
My 7 hour day turned into a 10 hour day, plus working from home. So the enjoyment became resentment and I no longer enjoyed it.
It's ok to do favours and help out occasionally, but keep the perspective and you'll have a winner!

My muscle twitching made an appearance yesterday morning, in my shoulder. (that's a new one).
"Yes anxiety, I know you are still there". What a persistent blighter it is, always wanting attention.
It didn't deter me from going for a long walk, popping to the shops, and visiting some friends about 5 miles away. Although we didn't stay long, it was a "Hi, how you doing, can't stay long, have a dinner to cook, but thought we'd just pop by".
Came away with an invite over the Christmas and thought "shucks, maybe shouldn't have gone and already thinking of an excuse to get out of it".

But, anxiety behaved, because I told it too, if it wants to be with me, it has to tow the line. But have to say that evening I was incredibly tired and that was by 9pm. Although it was 10pm really with the clock change.
It was my first time in a Supermarket for about 6 weeks!
Not a Superstore, but still isles built like a rabbits warren, so pleased I managed it with flying colours.

Sue, remember the anxiety symptoms are just there to remind you and not to disable you. x

And keep up the good work Mrs M, we've got this! x