Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[DustingMyselfOff]

Thank you Sue x

Reading your previous post I'm more inclined to think your appearance of anxiety is more to do with going back to work. Especially now you tell me it's the same road route.
After all anxiety is more a warning, not a threat and even the warning is most of the time fake because it works on memory mostly and makes comparisons to similar situations. For instance... Is it a Lion? No, its a cat.

Love the analogy, especially since lately I am very pre-occupied with wanting to bring a cat (or two) into my household. I'm basically a dog person but working in the cat section of the shelter is converting me quickly. I won't attempt it while I still have this very large dog in the house, but when I'm down to just one smaller dog, I know I will want to - I've already been warning my husband to prepare him. The ONLY rule he has ever requested I abide by with my crazy animal addictions is that we not allow any animals into our bed. I've honored that, but I'm afraid that cats go where they want, and sleep where they want! I am already worrying that it will want to play with hi CPAP machine!
Sue

[Carnation]

Yes Sue, they do! Cats will do exactly what they like including nipping on your bed at every opportunity, unless of course you close the door. They don't like that either and will probably wail until it's opened, so maybe a Lion might be the better option.

[DustingMyselfOff]

Yes Sue, they do! Cats will do exactly what they like including nipping on your bed at every opportunity, unless of course you close the door. They don't like that either and will probably wail until it's opened, so maybe a Lion might be the better option.

Perhaps I should stick to rescuing dogs and get my "cat fix" during my working hours. Hope you're doing OK today.
Sue

[Carnation]

A strange thing happened last night. I had a rash with white bumps come up on one shoulder. I felt the itching and unknowingly was scratching it. After realising that I may have made it worse I thought I'd better check it out in the mirror. Red rash and white bumps. So I got my trusty aloe Vera gel on to the area and within an hour it had vanished. now I'm spending most of today cricking my neck constantly checking my shoulder out and thankfully it seems to be ok, but my brain wants to know what caused it.
Mr C said it could be my bag strap. Its another unexplained thing that I'd like to blame on anxiety.
Blame everything on anxiety!

[DustingMyselfOff]

That's definitely a strange one, and I'm not convinced it was anxiety, but you never know! Once we start adjusting to and getting accustomed to our regular anxiety symptoms, the disease seems to feel obligated to throw new ones at us, just to keep it interesting. Great, huh? Since the aloe seemed to do the trick, maybe we should try using it on ALL of our symptoms!
Sue

[Carnation]

Hi Sue

I've had unexplained rashes with anxiety before and there is such a thing as a stress rash.
I've come to the conclusion it was either that or a heatrash. Although it's far from hot at the moment.
Aloe Vera is a good product and I use it alot on skin issues.

I didn't do much yesterday. The weather wasn't great so I had a sofa day watching Christmas films. Yes, tried to hold out until December, but could contain myself any longer from watching make believe, feel good festive cheer.
I did pop to the corner shop later in the day, which went ok.
I never realised how much I hold on to things and lean on stuff. The CBT has brought it all to the forefront.
Seriously, how is holding on to a handle of a door or the corner of a shelf going to prevent you from collapsing anyway.
By not doing this, it has made me more stable on my feet and the confidence is growing.

I've also noticed a switch from anxiety to depression again and in some ways the depression is harder to deal with. You can't just snap out of it. The best thing I find is to just let it ride itself out.
It's not going to suddenly go by what you do with your day and the more you try to be happy the worse you feel.
Mind numbing stuff like watching tv, browsing a magazine, writing a shopping list are things I normally do when like this.
I've noticed too that recently I have been waking up feeling angry about stuff.
It's normally mundane things that has niggled or upset me.
Like taking a bag to the charity shop to find they have closed early, someone not answering your text that was sent days ago, someone parking their car taking up two spaces, someone just sitting in their parked car not moving when you want the space and they know it!
Family that never bother to call to see if you are ok. Shop assistants that have attitude, the nextdoor neighbour doing drilling in the morning while I try to meditate, (although meditation is supposed to block that out, it doesn't in my case).
People who chuck their dogs in the garden for hours on end and the constant barking early in the morning or late at night.
People you think you have made friends with who don't bother to contact you.
Even stuff like the sight of a full bin in the kitchen that Mr C won't take out until I nag sets me off.

But, it's good to get it all out and that's exactly what I have just done.

There are much bigger and important things to be angry about in people's lives and I need to remember that and strangely enough, I tend to deal with those better, so why stupid little niggles bother me, I really don't know.

[DustingMyselfOff]

I think what scares me the most about all this anxiety/depression stuff is that we seem to have so little control over it, and people like us definitely need the control factor. I believe 99% of my anxiety is all about "control". I woke up this morning at the crack of dawn with racing mind and hundreds of thoughts and I struggled so badly to quiet my mind and try to get back to sleep. I tried meditating, tried breathing exercises, but nothing would work, the mind was like a hamster on a wheel. Nothing in particular, just hundreds of thoughts running through at the same time. It's then I realized how devastating it must be to have dimentia or Alzheimer's or one of those other brain disorders that you have no control over. So now my new fear of the day is someday slipping towards one of those, and I wonder if people with anxiety issues are more pre-disposed to them. How awful and terrifying to be trapped and lost in your own head! It also reminded me that I should get back on track with meditation practice, because MAYBE becoming very good at meditating is something we CAN do to help if one of those disorders starts to appear.

I feel "eh" physically today, but it seems everyone around me has got some sort of flu or bug or virus, so I'm not surprised. Plus the weather is changing so drastically! I am actually glad that I have to be at work in an hour because it takes my mind off of feeling crappy and forces me to get up, out, and productive. Of course if the illness got bad I would leave and go home, but it's usually just a minor annoyance once I'm focused on getting things done at the shelter and I know I can crash at the end of my shift and we have no plans for this weekend..... whoohoo!!!!!

Depression and anxiety are frightening, but we've got this.
Sue

[Carnation]

Hi Sue

There's alot of people feeling 'eh' round my way too including myself. Winter has come quick and hard, so has the short days.

Those racing thoughts are the bane of my life.
I feel like grabbing hold of head with two hands and shaking it like a snowglobe to see if I can get a better status.

We can only learn, persevere and hope we get through life unscathed.

[YoullNeverWalkAlone]

Hi carnation, how you doing?

Funny you should mention about rashes, a few years ago I had a rash come up on my arm, at first I thought it was ringworm as it was a perfect circle, eventually went to see doctor about it and she said it was a form of eczema caused by anxiety, she gave me some cream and it disappeared but I have had it in other places since, at the moment I’m having trouble with it on the palm of one hand, having to use steroid cream, again this is brought on by anxiety. Xx

[DustingMyselfOff]

LOL I love the visual of you grabbing your ears and shaking your head like a snow globe. But as funny as that would be, I think we should probably NOT try it as we have a tendency to get dizzy easily and that would surely do us in!

I felt pretty crappy the first two hours of work today, and almost was tempted to throw in the towel and go home, but I pushed through a little longer and then started feeling better and finished the day. Now that I'm home, I'm cold and tired and glad to be in for the day. SO COLD here today!!!!! Everyone get and stay healthy!
Sue