Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[Mrsmitchell1984]

The answer to my glitches are exactly the same as what I advise for you, but I have the habit of thinking, "Oh, I'll rest later". That habit has been broken in the last few months and I feel more alive, more at peace and I actually look better. Even the dark circles under my eyes only appear if I stay up late.
If I have a bad night's sleep, I have a lazy morning.
Everything still gets done, but I'm more ready to face it.

I feel I'm coming out of my bad episode, but I have to watch I still apply those Mindfulness and CBT skills.
I still do my affirmations everyday and as I hate to waste time, I listen to them while I get ready in the morning.

I've just been out this afternoon to a town about ten miles away. Last time I was there I was very shaky and could just about manage two shops.
I did five today and sat at a café and had a cup of tea.
Wilko was with me and tried to weigh my legs down, but I've carried a much heavier weight than that and I won with what I wanted to do.
The drive back was in the dark, but it didn't phase me so much. Only trouble was Mr C left a bag in a shop and we have to go back and get it.

Quinn, we need the fresh air, the oxygen, even if it's for a short while, its not good to stay in all the time. It actually feeds agoraphobia and if you take it a bit at a time it soon becomes second nature.
This is from someone who was too frightened to go outside and put something in a bin and that was weeks ago. It's a strong feeling of fear, not a danger, a misinterpretation.

Hi Mrs C and Sue,

sorry I haven’t been on for a while but just want to say I hope you are doing good xxxx

[Carnation]

I had a lazy day yesterday. No I didn't, I spent the day indoors doing jobs around the house. Boring, but has to be done. Actually I quite like ironing. I see it as ironing all the creases out of my life.

I've got two bad feet at the moment.
Let me explain that.
A corn on one which feels like I'm walking on a nail and a swollen ankle on the other, probably from shaking in my boots. So I'm sort of limping on both sides. It was also the reason for staying in.
I always wonder if its nature's way of telling me to rest, but generally I feel better, not falling asleep in the evening, waking up before the alarm, more motivated and lesser anxiety symptoms, (that includes the depression that goes with it.
But my poor feet have now disabled my ability to get out and about now.
Sometimes in life you just can't win.
And so as to not waste time, I'm catching up on household chores and rewarding myself with a bit of pampering.

I am quite pleased with this week.
I've been out every day and not just to a shop.
On average about 2-3 hours, plus my time in the garden.
And for the first time in many years, actually looking forward to Christmas.
I've had some rotten ones of late and I'm going all out to enjoy this year.
But more importantly, I want it to be the start of a better year to come. Think positive!
I know I have more challenges to face, I've a long way to go before I can feel confident and happy with dealing with anxiety and have to expect off days and issues, but I'm trying to deal with them one at a time.
Let's face it, bad habits are hard to kick.

[Carnation]

Hi Mrs M
I replied on your thread. x

[Mrsmitchell1984]

Ah Carnation, I am really pleased to see your progress- and I agree your body is telling you to rest. I struggle with rest - I feel guilty and lazy- but it is much needed- for us to heal and recharge our batteries.

I think you definitely deserve a good Christmas this year and the fact you are getting excited and feeling motivated about it - is a big victory against depression and anxiety. Well done you xxxx

[Mrsmitchell1984]

When you feel better- do you feel like your appetite is out of control - I seem to be constantly hungry. I mean I could do with gaining a bit of meat after anxiety/depression killed my appetite and reduced me to a bag of bones. But I could easily go the other way quite quickly as I have been tubby in the past xxxx

[Carnation]

Oh definitely Mrs M
It's like I'm eating as if I've been starved for days!

[DustingMyselfOff]

Hi Ladies.
Hope you're all doing well. Today is a tired day, but that's ok because when I'm tired like this I'm just "blah" and "blah" isn't anxious or full of adrenaline. I stayed awake much too late last night (I still hate going to bed and ending my day) and I'm on day 4 of my 5 day shift at the shelter, and it is miserable and dark and rainy and cold outside. So I'm choosing to stay in this tired, blah state, rather than try to talk myself out of it. It's OK to have days like this, they can't all be perfect! When I get to the shelter I will either get swept up in the busy-ness of it and get some adrenaline, or I will just slowly and calmly perform as many tasks and chores as I can, and not stress about the ones I don't get to. But since we are open to the public and most people come in on weekends, I'm pretty sure I'll get bombarded as soon as I walk in the door and energy will appear. I'm already planning to do NOTHING when I leave work today. Straight home, straight into the shower and jammies, and hit the couch for several hours before I go to bed. Dinner will either be something really easy, or I'll send hubby out to get take-out.

Holidays? Eh. Christmas is almost more of a chore than a happy time since my kids are grown and gone. Of course that means a lot less work, too, but there is really nothing much to look forward to, either. Me and hubby don't even decorate since it's just the two of us, and we will have family dinners at my sisters' houses both Christmas Eve and Christmas day, which, again, is more of a chore than a joy. One dinner would be OK, but both days, back to back, same attendees, same conversations, same negative energy.... eh. Knowing I have two young grandchildren on the other side of the country is saddening, young kids are what makes Christmas fun and exciting and I miss those days. But I don't like to travel by air in the winter so I am not going to fly out there to join them. Maybe I'll create my own Christmas celebration at their home once winter is over.... they can have a second "Grandma" Christmas in April!

But yes, let's all look forward and positively toward a great 2020..... onward and upward!
Sue

[Carnation]

Hi Sue

That's exactly the right thing to do.
Treat the off days and the days you feel like you've hit a brick wall to recharge, relax and be kind to yourself.
Even people without anxiety have crashes.
And I certainly don't have the energy in the winter.
So curl up on the sofa, watch a film and get yourself some of that comfort food.

[Carnation]

Acid Reflux made an appearance in the early hours of the morning. I find it hard to understand eating apples that are acidic, gets rid of the acid. So there I was eating an apple at 2am in the morning. I get it regular and found cooking oil to be the worst culprit, which is why I have problems with chocolate. Yes, it's in there too!

I seem to be averaging 6 hours solid sleep a night with an occasional hour on top if I'm lucky.

Sleep tends to be the bane of people's lives.
I've always been led to believe 7-8 hours sleep is the required amount, but some say 6-7 is more than acceptable. I suppose it depends on what you are doing and your bodies requirements at the end of the day.

I popped out yesterday, to the Supermarket. Yes, that's right, the Supermarket. That shop I fear so much.
So I waked in, grabbed a basket, list in hand and off I went off on a mission to get job done.
Mr C kept tripping me up and bumping in to me because I asked him to stay nearby. Trouble was, he seemed to always be right behind me.
Got to the checkout and realised there was a queue. About 6 people, so had to stand still trying not to fidget.
Oh my, it seemed to take forever, but eventually got there and survived it!

The trouble is with recovery and improving, you still think, "will I be ok this time, will those panic feelings come back?" So, you still stay in that alert state and that's what I need to let go".
I need to go about my day thinking, "what ever happens, happens", and carry on as normal.

[DustingMyselfOff]

Ahhh yes, the dreaded "anticipatory anxiety". I believe that is probably 75% of our issues. We're not really afraid of the upcoming event as much as we are afraid of being afraid of the upcoming event. I struggled with sleep last night, too. I was so tired at the end of the day that I dozed off on the couch while watching TV (which for some reason always feels wonderful to me) and while I was half awake and half-dozing, I was aware that I really should get up, turn off the lights, check the doors, and head up to bed. So I struggled with that for a while, wanting to do the "right thing" but really wanting to just give in to staying right there on the couch. I finally made myself get up, turned things off, and went up to bed. BOING. Wide awake, for hours.

I'm sipping my coffee and will soon get up and have breakfast, then get ready to leave for the shelter. I am not working Tuesday or Wednesday, so some rest and household chores will hopefully get caught up then.

Apples fix acid reflux?!?!? Who knew!
Sue