Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[Carnation]

Hi Sue

Your story about being so sleepy and cosy on the couch, then get up to go to bed and be wide awake sounds so familiar to me. I wonder why that is?

My not so good sleep played havoc with my confidence and calmness today. Anxiety was most definitely in play and I sort of lost control of it.
I managed to get back on track, but it shows how quickly you can be taken over by unwanted thoughts.

[Mrsmitchell1984]

Hi Sue

Your story about being so sleepy and cosy on the couch, then get up to go to bed and be wide awake sounds so familiar to me. I wonder why that is?

My not so good sleep played havoc with my confidence and calmness today. Anxiety was most definitely in play and I sort of lost control of it.
I managed to get back on track, but it shows how quickly you can be taken over by unwanted thoughts.

Hey both,

I had a bad night’s sleep last night too and the depression or anxiety (I can’t really tell anymore) was high today and I let it get to me too. I could feel myself going down fast. So I feel your pain. I think I am ok now- but it really is scary.

Let’s forgive ourselves for not being our best today and I hope we both have a better night’s sleep tonight xxxx

[DustingMyselfOff]

Sleep.... the elusive wonder drug. It's free, we don't need a subscription, and we can take as much or as little as we want of it, but yet it seems to be so hard to get into us sometimes. I think I may have found a solution to one of my sleep problems: I wake up soaked/sweating in the middle of the night and then can't get back to sleep, and I'm wondering if it's because I eat a ton of grapes before bed. It's my new nighttime pleasure, and I thought I was doing a good thing by trading in chocolate for grapes, but there is as much, if not more, sugar in the grapes and I think it wreaks havoc with my insulin and hormones during the night. So I made myself forego the grapes last night and I was not hot or uncomfortable at all and never woke up until morning. Coincidence? Don't know, but I'll try it again tonight.

I've been eating too many starches and carbs today but think I'm going to not beat myself up over it and just enjoy some comfort foods until after the Thursday holiday. By then I should be good and sick of feeling crappy and will (hopefully) embrace going back to eating clean and healthy and counting calories.

I'm off from work today and tomorrow and am torn 50/50 between wanting to stay here on the couch all day and wanting to go outside and walk the dogs (it's actually nice outside) and then work on my fishtank. My mind wants to get up, my body would be content staying still. Can't wait to see which one wins!
Sue

[Carnation]

Hi Mrs M,
I had a second night's bad sleep and now feel a little depression creeping back, anxiety too.
I'm not back to square one, but I definitely feel I've gone a few steps back.
Maybe I've done too much soon and not doing as much self help.
But we plod on Mrs M. We have to, Christmas is coming! x

Hi Sue,
That's interesting about the grapes, but of course wine comes from grapes.
Evening snacking doesn't work for me at all. It plays havoc with my stomach and revs up my acid reflux.
I watched a programme about healthy digestion and it was suggested we allow a good 12 hours of not eating anything pre going to sleep.
Anyway, it will be interesting to hear if you have a repeat performance Sue. x

[Windywel]

Hi all could do with some support today. Had a good day yesterday apart from not feeling 100 percent but woke up feeling really anxious at 5 and again at 7 and now have a splitting headache.i have health anxiety so am feeling really anxious about the headache as my vision went blurry when i got up to get the panadol and ive had a few palpitations and have got myself into a bit of a state. I really wish I could just roll with it when I’m not well but I always get so anxious.

[DustingMyselfOff]

Hi Windy.
You may very well be coming down with something..... it's flu/virus season everywhere and so many people are feeling unwell. And the first clue that I've caught a bug is that I start getting very anxious and panicky, even before I feel any physical symptoms of illness. I've even posted a thread on here about that.... anxiety always seems to precede illness, at least in me.

Be kind to yourself, try to relax, and try to give in and rest. This too shall pass.
Sue

[Windywel]

Thanks so much Sue x

[Carnation]

Windywel, I answered to your duplicate post on Mrs Mitchell's thread. x

[Carnation]

My new thing at the moment is chewing gum.
Apparently it helps my persistent acid reflux, but more importantly than that, it helps to dampen down panic.
It stops that horrible dry mouth feeling that you get when you are anxious. So I'm going about my business looking more like a camel these days.

My question today is, "why am I so tired when doing nothing?"
In days of old, a good rest and a hearty meal would charge me up and inspire me to move my butt to do something.
These days I feel like I have an intimate relationship with my sofa and bed. I want them ALL the time!
Could it be depression? Even boredom?
I'm one of these people that like to achieve something every day, it seems such a waste.
The brain wants to, the body doesn't. Or is it the other way round?
It's not just me, it's Mr C as well, it's like it's contagious!

On another note, I'm using my toaster to judge my sensitivity. If I jump when the toast pops up, then I know I'm highly sensitised. And have to say recently it has not been having that effect.
Unfortunately desensitising is not a quick fix regime and takes time and it's basically a calming of the nerves with plenty of relaxation and calming techniques. It can be a couple of days, a couple of weeks and even a couple of months. My toaster is my marker for that.

Right, I'm off to get inspired by something...

[Carnation]

I got very frustrated yesterday when I went out for my daily exposure to anxiety.
In other words, I don't seem to be making any progress with the anxiety symptoms.
I'm feeling the fear, feeling the symptoms, but anxiety is still very much in play.
So after my attempt of going out yesterday, I lost it and got upset which resulted in having a good cry.
The thing is, because of the constant battle and torture of feeling bad, I'm not enjoying anything or anywhere I go.
I'm just going through the motions.
I feel old before my time, life is ticking by and I still feel chained to anxiety and depression.
On top of that, I've had a real bad time with acid reflux, which has left me with an inflamed throat, cutting out lots of food and with a stomach that won't settle down.

I know, all very negative today and I do try to look for the positives. But if it wasn't for my determination, I'd honestly be quite happy to not bother at all.

It's horrendous trying to fit into a normal society when people don't really understand what you have to battle physically and mentally.
I don't know how many times I've said, "Sorry I can't".
I feel my strength is slipping away from me.
It's so exhausting, even just to do a bit of shopping or chatting to someone for as little as 5 minutes.
I just don't know how to find the strength and confidence to keep going.
As you can tell, I've gone backwards in the last few days.
I feel emotional, depressed and depleted.
I'm exposing to the fear which is not pleasant at all.
It's the equivalent of walking on hot coals, standing at a cliff edge everyday, sticking pins in your body, tightening a rope around your neck, wearing bricks on your feet all day, pushing a car out of a ditch........

This is not the post I so wanted to say in hindsight, but I'm being honest and true about how it is.
I'm not giving up, but it sure does get you down.