Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[Mrsmitchell1984]

Hi all,

I hope you are all doing ok.

YNWA- how is the shoulder - how are you doing?

Carnation, your mottos and wise words of advice are keeping everyone going - including me.

just my two penneth worth - Wendywil- EMDR really helped me with my PTSD. I was badly bullied at school - I know a lot of people were and still are. It was emotional bullying where sometimes you were included with the other girls and sometimes you were out of favour and left out. I also went through a bad break up at the time- my first serious relationship which ended and I was never given a reason as to why- which left me feeling as though there was something wrong with me but I didn’t know what (that’s an ongoing issue). But with regards to particular incidents- where they all followed me home one night and called me names and when my ex broke up with me- I had EMDR for an it completely neutralised how the event affected me- it was like a weight lifted. Whilst I realise it is not as bad as some of the events that have been referred to here- I don’t think you can lose anything by giving it a go- what have you got to lose?

Its so nice to hear you are having a Christmas that is for yourself this year- and my how you deserve it. You have got yourself well organised for Christmas and now to have some guilt free resting and enjoyment- if you let yourself and don’t feel guilty. I guess you go into a habit (through not fault of your own) of putting everyone else before you. You worried about those you cared for and they may have been constantly in your mind. It’s like your brain has got into the habit of worrying and when the source of worry is no longer there (the loss of your dear parents) the brain carries on acting in the same way. It has got into a habit of worrying. But gradually it will learn new thought pathways and adjust to your new circumstances and hopefully allow you to enjoy yourself - and you are definitely one who deserves to enjoy yourself.

just a quick update on me- I’m doing good- but I do still feel a very weak feeling of depression. It seems to be getting weaker and funnily enough it’s at a time when I am relaxing after being on my feet all day at work- I feel guilty for enjoying my time or relaxing- like I am being lazy or self-indulgent or something.

Also, work is not great- I was told that there are too many managers in our store so I will be demoted as the company did not make enough money last year- so they are taking it out of my pocket instead. I was offered another manager job but it’s hours that will interferes with family life- so it’s not great. But it could be worse - I could be without a job. Annoying thing is- all I have ever done is what I am told. Worked hard at school, got good grades, studied law at university and law school (which nearly killed me). It took a year for me to find a job but I never gave up and when I got the job I worked my socks and got promoted to firm manager. Then when I got pregnant - the other (female) bosses took exception to that and made life very hard so I had to leave. I got a job in retail and after 5 years of working my socks off - now I get slapped on the wrist again- just what is this teaching the world?? I wonder sometimes if I am just too nice. Maybe we are all too nice and that is why we have depression and anxiety. Xxx

[Carnation]

Darksky!

[Mrsmitchell1984]

Windywel *

[Windywel]

Morning all - I really like your post Carnation - your sage words are always very reassuring and inspirational. Yes we are the special people aren’t we?
mrs m - glad to hear you are feeling so much better but what a bummer about your job. I sometimes think the same with me - we are too nice and then get walked all over. I hope you can manage the stress of it ok - it’s not what you need right now. I’ll be thinking of you. Re EMDR that’s interesting. Maybe I will go back to that for my fathers death and when I was unfairly dismissed from a job when I have got through all this.


I’m ok but im still getting so many physical symptoms which I feel are hampering my recovery. my anxiety isnt as bad most of the time but im still getting IBS (had that for a while), shortness of breath, muscle aches, headaches etc. Every time i get one of those and its bad it makes me feel really anxious. Just wish i could be pragmatic about that stuff instead of flipping out!! Will the meds eventually help with that?
it just feels like every day a new thing is sent to try me. last night it was shortness of breath, this morning its upset stomach. cant i just have a break?!
love to all xx

[Darksky]

Personally speaking, yes I am too nice. But is not a good nice. It's a placating, non confrontational nice. It's a walk over me nice, because confrontation is a huge trigger for me.

I never feel better for sticking up for myself, just full of anxiety. ( I would say full of Wilko)but it's one of my favourite shops. I always go in for bird food and come out with a basketful. There's a lovely cushion in there with baby deer on. I literally don't have room for another. I also like their honeysuckle and jasmine candle.....you see how bad it is in there for me.

[Carnation]

it's very busy on here, so I'll work backwards so I hopefully don't miss anybody or anything.

Darksky, hope you are well, it's been a while.

If anyone was to pick up 'Wilko' as the shop with decorating your home with much needed extras, it was going to be you. I like the shop myself, but that's not the reason I chose that name.
There's a guitarist of that name who has big attitude, he's loud and is distracting and fidgety on stage and it sort of fitted the bill.

And no, you don't need anymore cushions, they take up too much room! Candles however are small, handy and usable.

I am also one of those 'too nice' people that get walked over and generally lose out because I stand back.
I'm absolutely no good in the January sales because I'm the type that would pick up a bargain and give it to someone else because they liked it. Then after I would shake my head and think, "why did I do that, I liked it myself".
I don't like confrontation or complaining, but I am forcing myself to speak up if I am not happy about something.
I'm practising on Mr C.

Windywel
It's so hard to not let those pesky symptoms pass you by isn't it?
That voice in the head that confirm what you are feeling.
Take today. Nippy head pains and in my eyebrow, yes eyebrow, jelly and stiff legs at the same time, (basically my legs don't feel like they belong to me). Breathless for no reason at all. And shivery when I'm actually warm. Pins and needles in my feet, a feeling of dread all day. One minute I can't sit still, then later like I've been hit by a brick and want to lay down and go to sleep.
And we are suppose to say, "no worries, that's my Wilko, I'll just carry on doing the dinner".
We try to ignore it, but it's a stubborn blighter that switches the brain to, "what's that?" "should I be worried?"
The answer nine times out of ten is NO, but it's that one out of ten that won't let us have peace of mind.
What we want is perfection and somehow I don't think that's ever going to happen.
So we carry on until we rest our head and wake up with aspirations of a better day.

I also have buried trauma concern my father's illness and passing. I'm trying to process this gradually by myself and as time passes it is becoming easier. x

Mrs M,

There's two main points I'd like to respond to in your post.

Bullying! Warning, possible triggers in this paragraph..
I too was ferociously bullied at school. So much that I played truant more than I was at school and it affected my education.
As a child I was softly spoken and incredibly shy.
I was also painfully thin and I was a target for being picked on. The other kids would steal my bag, throw it around, steal my food, push me until I fell. I'd get up and they push me again.
They would then bundle me so I couldn't get up and I could feel their weight crushing me.
They would kick me and drag me to the cloakroom and push my face in to the coat hooks.
The teachers knew and did nothing!
So I stopped going for a long time.
I've met up with two of those bullies later in life and even managed to confront one of them.
They said they were mixed up at the time to which I replied , "your mixed up ruined my education and confidence. I hope you are a better person now?
I could tell by the look on their face that they probably wasn't, but I feared nothing from them as I stood in front of them 20 years later.

Your job Mrs M....
Someone told this to me and I'm going to pass it on.
I'm doing this because it is true and have lived through it to prove just that.
When you lose a job or leave, it happens for a reason.
What lies ahead will be better and more rewarding.
Never think your experience has been wasted.
All that you learn adds to more scope in your future.
There is always something around the corner. Widen your horizons and while you wait, keep all communications and options open.
Things in life happen for a reason.
You are meant to move on. x

Sue

I would love for you to have a better Christmas /Thanksgiving. I hate hearing how horrible your sister is to you. So what if she's miffed about you not going because you plumped for looking after the animals. Animals that are appreciative of your care and love.
I wonder if you've ever thought that she may be actually jealous of you? There's always a reason for snipes and put downs. You should be very proud that you've stood your ground for once.

For me, I'm off to the big town tomorrow.
Wilko will probably want to come.
I've told him he can only come if he behaves.
I'm not looking forward to it, there could be tears and tantrums, but there could also be achievements.

[Windywel]

I love the way you write Mrs C! Totally agree with the job thing - that has also happened to me several times and always led on to better things. I hope your trip to the big town goes well tomorrow!
I am feeling so tired and a bit depressed today. Guess that’s another kind of blip! Had another shiatsu with my eccentric yoga teacher tonight. While doing it she says I she has to tell me what comes up and today it was that she felt I was feeling defeated. Also that I was protecting my heart and had a very closed chest. Interesting - I said I was probably feeling defeated from the anxiety yet al but she said you need to look at things from all angles and that maybe I was feeling defeated before and that led to the anxiety. So I must ponder that. She also gave me some scobie to make Kambucha as she makes masses of it. Though she gave me some and I have to say it wasn’t all that nice - tasted like cider vinegar. I need to make dinner but I can’t really bothered. Been getting lots of headaches and that stupid breathlessness thing. Wondering if I should go to doctor to get checked it - but usually they always say ‘it’s just anxiety’.

[Windywel]

I love the way you write Mrs C! Totally agree with the job thing - that has also happened to me several times and always led on to better things. I hope your trip to the big town goes well tomorrow!
I am feeling so tired and a bit depressed today. Guess that’s another kind of blip! Had another shiatsu with my eccentric yoga teacher tonight. While doing it she says I she has to tell me what comes up and today it was that she felt I was feeling defeated. Also that I was protecting my heart and had a very closed chest. Interesting - I said I was probably feeling defeated from the anxiety yet al but she said you need to look at things from all angles and that maybe I was feeling defeated before and that led to the anxiety. So I must ponder that. She also gave me some scobie to make Kambucha as she makes masses of it. Though she gave me some and I have to say it wasn’t all that nice - tasted like cider vinegar. I need to make dinner but I can’t really bothered. Been getting lots of headaches and that stupid breathlessness thing. Wondering if I should go to doctor to get checked it - but usually they always say ‘it’s just anxiety’.

[Carnation]

Aw Quinn
Yes, I am I sensing you are down.
You'll probably do your witty thing and say something like, "of course I am, I'm in OZ".
Mind you, with the heat you've had and Christmas coming up, it's enough to zap your mojo.
I'm interested to know why your teacher chose defeated!
Could you not do the exercises?
I'm wondering if she has that mixed up with feeling low?
You can tell a lot by the way people speak, but your teacher has the advantage of seeing you in action!
I love eccentric people, I'm one myself.
Eccentric people normally tell it like it is. No BS or anything fake about them. What you see is what you get. Maybe you should give those affirmations ago to help with realising what a wonderful person you are. If you can't tell yourself, you need someone else to tell you.

[Carnation]

If you're looking in You'llNeverWalkAlone, I hope you feel a little better today. x