Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[Carnation]

Darksky, you've hit the nail on the head about feeling better once Christmas is out of the way.

Sue, why should Christmas stress us out more than any other time of the year? I'll answer that. The Media!
Apparently we should be doing this, looking like that, eating these and all with a fixed smile on our faces.
It's not Hollywood in real life and those films don't represent reality. So why not do what you feel happy and comfortable with. As you are Sue, being with the animals. x

How's that song go? 'What a Difference a Day Makes'...
Yesterday wasn't the confident day I had the day before.
For a start I sprained my hand, the one and only light in the kitchen decided not to work and the butchers had a queue as long as my arm twenty times over.
With the running around and panicking over no light in the kitchen I ended up falling asleep on the sofa by late afternoon.
I might have been ok for the church carol service, but not for the bustle of pre Christmas rush and standing in a queue for half an hour.
And both Mr C and myself had the pressure to buy something for each other, even though we agreed not to do that. It's the power of the advertising and that's what we said to each other.
So there I was with one hand balancing on a rickety chair trying to disable the light as Mr C is short-sighted. Thinking that what I was doing would breach health and safety, but no light overrides that.
Mr C manged to get a new starter just incase it was that and managed to drop that in the gap in-between the car seats. Anyway, all fixed now.
Then our old neighbour phoned to invite us round Christmas Eve and I agreed to go.
So it all resulted in a shutdown nap. Just woke up in time to save the dinner from burning.
Slept like a log last night, a full 8 hours!

Today I'm regretting agreeing going to this invite. Regretting getting a turkey and want to stay in bed.
I just want the pressure of Christmas to lift and be a normal day with familiarity that I can just about handle.
I'm afraid my thoughts on Christmas has been reflected in the toilet this morning.

[DustingMyselfOff]

I'll agree with the media adding holiday stress, but in my case, the source is FAMILY! Well, my toxic sister specifically. We must all dress a specific way that meets her standards. We must all be there exactly on time even though it's a chaotic mad house when we arrive with her swearing and yelling and being flustered, and dinner is always about 2 hours late so we all hang around trying to stay out of her wrath. We must use the proper fork and the proper napkins. There is nothing comfortable or relaxing about it. The family event tonite is at my OTHER sister's house, where I can wear comfortable clothes and be whatever I want to be, but Toxic Sister will be there spewing negativity.

My mental state seems OK these days, but I still have the physical symptoms of adrenaline so if this doesn't let up after the holidays I will ask doc to test my thyroid levels.... my meds may need adjusting.

I'm still struggling and fighting with doctors and pharmacies about getting me preventative rabies vaccine (for my job). I had to fire my primary care doctor in order to become a patient of a doctor who will give me the vaccinations, but since it's not something common, the pharmacy doesn't have any and has to call the manufacturer to see how quickly they can ship some to me and then I can bring it to the new doctor. And yes, I am usually an anti-vaccination person so I guess there is underlying stress about receiving this "not so common" series of injections. But, I'm trusting the Universe on this. If it's supposed to happen, it will happen.

There's also some sadness around the holidays, not only because of the ones who have departed and aren't with us but because I have two young grandchildren (which is what makes Christmas really enjoyable) but they are a 7 hour plane-ride away so I won't be joining them for the holidays. :( Pictures are nice, but almost makes it more painful to see what I'm missing.

So, let's all be whatever we want this week: happy, depressed, sad, anxious, etc. We are what we are, and we need to be OK with that.
Sue

[Carnation]

Not a great Christmas Eve for me.
About 5pm, a panic attack, but still managed to cook the dinner a hour later.
I've felt it building all day.

[fishman65]

Carnation We do suffer with all this nonsense don't we. It will be over soon, hang in there.

[DustingMyselfOff]

Ugh, d@mn it! Although I guess we shouldn't be surprised . . . we all know that even on non-holidays we struggle with this, so it makes sense that stressful holidays are going to exacerbate it. And even "non-anxiety" people get stressed and anxious on the holidays, so I guess for us to be panicky makes us part of the "normal" group.

I, too, have been feeling my day going downhill. I started out ok, but as the minutes and hours passed I felt myself feeling physically ill, and then mentally ill, and I know the physical part is the anxiety. Even though tonight's family gathering is at the sister that I get along with and is very local, I just don't want to go! I would rather stay home with my husband and my animals and pretend it's just another ordinary day. Wow, that toxic sister really has her damage deeply embedded in my genes....if they haven't eased up yet, I don't think they ever will. She will be there, critical of everything, criticizing everything, and telling everyone how wrong they are when they express an opinion. And as much as part of me wants to argue with her and stand up to her, I feel like I should take the high road and not start a family feud on Christmas Eve. Not to mention, when a few of us have attempted to stand up to her in the past, it's a no-win situation. She will get louder and meaner and more obnoxious until we back down to stop the madness. (sigh). Gee, I wonder why I am not excited about the gathering tonight.

Oh, and if you suggest I avoid her and surround myself with some of the other guests, that doesn't work, either. She needs to be a part of everything and will barge in, ask lots of questions that are personal and none of her business of people, and make everyone cringe. So, perhaps the solution is to drink! I don't normally drink, maybe 4-6 times a year, but that might be the solution tonight.

Anyway, I hope everyone had a better evening than I'm expecting to have, and who knows - maybe since I'm expecting the worst, I'll be pleasantly surprised. Merry Christmas everyone. I'm thankful for my NMP family!
Sue

[pulisa]

Dear God,Sue..what an insecure woman she sounds...

[Carnation]

Sue, if you manage to read this before you go, can I give you a tip.....
When you look at your sister imagine her with a moustache or horns coming out of her head. If it's a back view, imagine she has a dinosaur tail or wearing a rucksack with a cat popping out of the top winking at you and sticking it's tongue out at your sister.
Our vivid imaginations can sometimes be a handy tool x

[DustingMyselfOff]

Yes, insecure and very unhappy with her life and with herself. This is a woman who openly admits that she can never be alone and NEEDS to have social events, plans, commitments and gatherings for every hour of every day, otherwise she has no clue what to do with herself. She loves her big diamonds, fancy furs, expensive cars, and mansion on the beach house, but she knows nothing about the happiness from the simple pleasures in life. At times I pity her because she's such a miserable person, but at her age, she should know better than to continually try to make everyone ELSE unhappy, too.

Oh, I wish, Mrs. C. But when I look at her with the venom in her eyes I cringe.... takes me back to the years of my childhood when she tore me down and removed any trace of self-love and confidence I may have managed to find. Deep scars - I don't even try to heal that inner child anymore. Anyway, didn't mean to bring you all down -sorry.
Sue

[Carnation]

Thanks fishman
It's a relief for panic to come down.
That's the thing to remember, what goes up, must come down.

[Mrsmitchell1984]

Thanks fishman
It's a relief for panic to come down.
That's the thing to remember, what goes up, must come down.

wow the anxiety does not give up without a fight eh? Thinking of you and well done for letting it pass and remaining calm xxxxx