Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[Carnation]

That's it Sue, people that drain you, that's exactly how it is.
My visit was more about building confidence and it did.
I've been out for nearly 3 hours today and my stride was much more confident and I was far more composed.
I had a minor squabble with Mr C about slamming the car boot, especially as it affects my PTSD from the car crash.
But I know he will still do it tomorrow and the next day.

[Carnation]

Here's a tip that's helped me a lot lately....

Don't put your focus on your destination, but your journey to your destination.
This can apply to a walk, a shop, a place, a car journey, even cooking a meal.
The times I've thought to myself, "I've got to get there, make it, will I do it?"
No, that's all wrong and causes more adrenalin and anxiety.
If you take the approach of taking in the journey, you will find you arrive with more ease and feel like you have got there much quicker.
Take in your surroundings, stop once in a while, maybe even a divertion, slow down, be distracted by something that takes your eye, look at others, even notice someone else that may seem to have far more difficulties moving.
Remind yourself of your strength and capabilities and that any adrenalin will lessen and so will your anxiety. x

[Carnation]

Why does something so trivial keep you awake at night?
It might be a someone you met who was a bit off.
It might be some news you read or saw on the tv.
It might be something you bought that was faulty and you need to return it.
It might be an upset in a shop.
It might be a noise you can hear outside while you try to sleep.
Any of these can keep you awake or wake you up several times feeling anxious.
None of them are that important to affect you, but they do!
So, how do we deal with it?
Maybe having a talk with yourself and brain to convince yourself that it's not worth worrying about.
Or to deal with the matter as soon as possible to get it out of your head.
It always amazes me how something so trivial can become so niggling, even bring on anxiety symptoms like twitching.

I remember many occasions of queueing for various items in various shops. I would stand there almost appearing invisible in my eyes while I watched people push in or people waiting after me get served first.
I would get upset, angry and most of all, feel worthless.
I couldn't understand why the server /assistant would be ignoring me and would on many occasion, walk out, sometimes even crying.
These days I almost invite people to jump in front of me and I have to say, a lot of people turn my gesture down.
And if I'm ignored, I jokingly say, "ooh, I think it's my turn".
It's so important not to feel pushed away or forgotten and especially if you are of a shy and quiet nature with the approach of "anything for a quiet life".
Better to be known at your regular visits as the considerate, polite, jokey, smiling customer who will be remembered on the next visit and probably served quite promptly and considerately.
Being quiet and reserved can be mistaken as being miserable.

As for the person that is off with you.
Have you considered it might not be you!
Sensitive people take things very personally.
We don't really know what goes on in other people's lives or who they were with before bumping in to us.
Best thing in this situation, keep it short and sweet with this person and carry on with your own life.
You might find next time you meet, they'll open up why they were off. If they are just the same, don't waste your time with this person, they are not for you.

Returning something broken or damaged.
Don't brood about it. Tell the supplier and see what they suggest. Sometimes there's a free gift of goodwill on top so you come out even better off.

News.... If it upsets you, don't read it, watch it.
Basically, you can't do much about the world's problems anyway, it's beyond a one person's capabilities.
So why take it on your shoulders.
Seriously, who wants to watch the news just before they go to bed anyway.

If there's a problem in your head, it can always be dealt with or solved, so don't let it haunt you in your sleep.
If you feel unable to deal with a matter yourself, then get someone you trust to deal with it for you. x

[DustingMyselfOff]

Actually, in my case I don't think the little things keep me awake at night. I think they just run through my mind on the nights when I can't sleep, either because I'm not tired enough or because I am having a case of insomnia. On the nights when I am tired, I can have the weight of the world on my shoulders and it's not going to keep me from passing out as soon as I hit the pillow. And then there are nights when nothing at all is bothering me, but yet I lay in bed wide awake for hours, and of course, out of boredom, I will replay all the things that happened recently, both good and bad. So is it truly the little things keeping you from sleeping? Or are they just filling your mind while something physical is keeping you awake?
Sue

[Carnation]

Oh, I rarely have anything physical in my bed Sue

[DustingMyselfOff]

Oh, I rarely have anything physical in my bed Sue

[Carnation]

The last couple of days adrenalin running/ vibrating in my legs has returned, along with the twitchy eye syndrome.
And being the determined person I am, not letting it affect any progress I have made, I have continued about my daily routine as I normally would.
The "But Why?" has entered my brain for explanation needed. Oh, that brain is so demanding for information. And of course it's making me think and look for reasons. And of course there could be a dozen answers.
So why even try and work it out? Because that's the way we are. My latest reason is because I've got used to the lightheadedness, the blurry eyesight, the internal shaking and most of the hot flushing, so anxiety has thrown another symptom at you. Like, "oh, she hasn't had this for a while, we'll throw some adrenalin around in her legs, that'll get her attention".
The reassuring thing when you've had anxiety for a long time is being familiar with the symptoms and knowing it's down to anxiety. Also knowing that it will eventually go away. It's got your attention, you've told it, "yeah, I know you're here" and then you can carry on regardless.
Maybe still thinking, "Why has it returned?"
So what if it has. It doesn't stop you carrying on, it's not harmful, it's just an irritating, uncomfortable symptom of a overrun thoughts. Once I challenged them, they disperse.

[DustingMyselfOff]

Wow, good for you, Mrs. C! Sounds like you've adopted the perfect attitude towards anxiety and it's various symptoms! And I really think that is key to a future with less of those pesky symptoms. It's not about what is happening to us, it's about how we REACT to it. Granted, if you are an anxiety-prone person, it's difficult (sometimes impossible) not to obsess and analyze why every little thing is happening, but it's kind of like meditation: it takes practice. The more we try to do it, the easier it becomes over time. I'm doing the same thing this week. I'm having symptoms that could either be some sort of virus, or shifting hormones, or plain old anxiety. But the good news is I'm not obsessing (too much) over them. I'm giving into them (lying down if I feel ill and not forcing myself to fight it) and am trying to remind myself that WHATEVER it is, it will pass. Granted, it was challenging twice this week to feel crappy while at work, but I reminded myself that if it got bad enough I could always just leave. Luckily I didn't need to, but I definitely cancelled my plan of going to the gym after work and, instead, went home and laid down.

Granted, all of this became MUCH easier to do once I retired from my demanding, full-time job. Back then, I could not afford to give in and I had to keep pushing and pushing, which only made things worse. So having much more time to myself and my health helps incredibly and I know not everyone has that luxury. I count my blessings that I do.

Acceptance seems to be the key. We will never be able to force anxiety to leave us alone, but we can certainly lessen the impact it has upon us.
Sue

[pulisa]

For me it helps to no longer care what anxiety does to me. It doesn't matter..

How are you feeling re Storm Ciara, Carnation? Is it predicted to hit your area of coastline badly? I've battened down the hatches in deepest Surrey and have got the supplies in to tide us over !!

[Carnation]

Acceptance was put to the test this afternoon.
I went with Mr C to a shop so he could get a new jacket.
It was busy, the shop had wonky floorboards and steps and Mr C took absolutely ages trying on and choosing.
Eventually he made his decision and on walking up some steps to the counter, my eyes went blurry and I had what I refer to as a 'funny turn'. I felt a rush to my head, I couldn't focus and I truly believed I was going to collapse.
But I didn't. The feeling went away very quickly, a few seconds and I was able to wait at the cash point and no one even noticed or didn't make a comment.
Once I was composed I walked over to a very handy array of scented candles and breathed in the scent.
I slowly walked out of the shop, turned my head to say thank you and bye to the sales assistant and walked back to the car.
I then told Mr C what had happened which he didn't comment on and when we arrived back home our weekly online food delivery had arrived at the same time and I thought "my God I've got to deal with that as well".
Then I remembered the advice of 'carrying on' even after a funny turn. So I did. I carried on. Unpacked the shopping, put the dinner on and made tea and it was the best thing I could have done.
In previous times I would have taken to my bed, cried my eyes out and put myself into a "I can't do anything anymore".
It's not easy to keep going when you think you are going to collapse just a little while beforehand, but I didn't and my mind needs to know that I'm ok and carrying on as normal is the way to go.
Saying that, it's not nice, anxiety is horrible and very frightening and it's difficult to appear normal and I wouldn't wish this upon anyone.
And I still think this can be beaten and managed so that we don't suffer so much with this condition.