Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[glassgirlw]

I realized something today - I haven’t had one episode of vertigo, or spacey head, racing heart, etc - since all this CV stuff started in the states. Interesting how all our “perceived” anxieties take a backseat when something very real is happening.

I have however found a new hobby. Sewing. I wanted nothing to do with it growing up - mom would always make my siblings and I clothes and I had zero interest in it. But last year I decided to give it a go and made a quilt, really enjoyed the whole process. I did it all by machine. Then a bit ago I found a YouTube video on something called English Paper Piecing, which is all done by hand. I hated the thought of that because I have very little patience lol and prefer to see projects completed quickly - and I’d never hand sewn a stitch a day in my life. But I decided to try just one piece and see what I thought. Now I’m 5 blocks away from being ready to assemble my new English paper pieced quilt I’ve found it’s a great distraction and I can have the tv on in the background while I happily hand sew away lol. Interesting how we change over the years...

anyway - just wanted to pop in and say hello, I hope you’re all staying happy and healthy!

[Carnation]

I haven't posted for a little while, mainly because my day to day struggles might be taken as menial with what's going on in the world and I didn't want this thread to become just about the Coronavirus.
But the truth is, this is a mental health Site and we still struggle no matter what is going on the world.
And up until a few days ago I was coping with the added worry and stress quite well.
I now find I'm becoming very upset with the situation and my normal routine which helps me to cope has been disrupted to the point that affects my anxiety more.
And although the Coronavirus is scary, it's more the changes that affects my anxiety.
I don't normally watch the news and advise anyone not too if it fuels anxiety, but I now find myself not only watching the news bulletin, but watching it several times a day including programmes about the virus.
It's like I have to know, but I know it's harmful to me.
I've also be going out for supplies with Mr C as our online delivery of food etc has not provided us with the essentials like bread, veg, meat and dare I say toilet rolls.
We failed to get either after driving a 5 mile radius and more to the point, we have offered our services to several neighbours if they need us to get anything and now I am not too confident the stocks will be there.
So the last week, we've been 24/7 Coronavirus fuelled that obviously It has been testing my anxiety to its maximum.
Like I've already said, it's not particularly the Coronavirus itself, it's the stuff it's affecting.
After this weekend my Town is closing down and only food shops and takeaways will be operating.
People can't get a Supermarket delivery for love or money and I don't know how this is going to pan out in the future weeks. The supplies are there, but people are being greedy and a halt on stock piling should have been implemented weeks ago. Still, we are where we are and we have to find other solutions. And there are always solutions.
If we have to change our diet to accommodate then that's what we have to do. It hopefully won't be forever, just like the virus. Everything has an end!
Yes, I'm still shaky going out, yes I still have tunnel vision when highly anxious and my legs feel a heavy weight that makes me think I can't walk from A-B, but I understand why and I know now it is not a permanent state, just like the state of the country. x

Glassgirlw, pleased to hear you have found a hobby and I highly recommend we all find something to do to take our minds off this situation, even for a short while.

Yes, I know for most people they don't feel like it, but once you put your mind to it, you'll find it a blessing during this difficult time. x

[glassgirlw]

You’re not alone in feeling like you have to know everything going on in regards to the current state of the world. I’m the same way, and it’s been a huge struggle to try and not actively search out new updates regularly. I’m really trying to limit myself to checking the news once a day and that’s extremely tough. Yesterday I kept telling myself that it won’t matter if I check the numbers, they’re going to do what they’re going to do regardless of me looking. I know that my state will send out an emergency text or email if they’ve made the decision to do something different than we are currently. Today I’m going to actively try to keep occupied with projects around the house and not check the news. Going to be hard because I won’t have work to keep me busy today. But we can do it! Hugs (from 6ft away!)

[Carnation]

That's true glassgirlw, constant checking isn't necessary. It almost becomes an obsession and for me, if I gather as much information, my brain thinks its more equipped to deal with it. I've always been like that, even pre-anxiety days.
Sending a virtual hug your way glassgirlw

[pulisa]

You can see on the CV thread in Misc how easy it is for people to get obsessed with information gathering and it doesn't really serve any purpose. We can't change anything by immersing ourselves in the latest updates/predictions-all it does is add to the uncertainty because nobody knows for certain how things will pan out. It's all guesswork.

I'm really challenged by food supply panic which is ridiculous in view of the other major challenges going on in my life at present..Can't really explain it other than it's a manifestation of my ED and having safe foods in the house. Still, I'll just have to lump it and do without my "security blanket"-others are far far worse off.

Hoping that the day isn't too bad for everyone xx

[Carnation]

Hi Pulisa,
The 'food' situation is really testing us, like you say.
And, yes there are people much worse off and we have to remember that. We have to adapt to a situation we've never experienced with dramatic changes.
But with all the doom and gloom, we must try to keep normality as much as possible to keep our sanity.
I spent this afternoon seeding my veggies which I hope will be a bonus if food deliveries become sparse and if my crops are success I can supply others too.
Anything positive is needed right now. xx

[YoullNeverWalkAlone]

Hi Carnation, my veggie seeds have already started growing, just had to re-pot some of them, already had a batch of cress which I enjoyed on a sandwich with egg.

Are you growing yours in the garden or a greenhouse, I’m doing it in a greenhouse as I haven’t the room for a vegetable plot, I’m hoping I will get something, but as this is the first time I’ve ever done it, it’s all trial and error, but I thought I would give it a bash as it’s something to do and it gives you both pride and pleasure when you see things growing, and then you get to eat them....I’m also growing catnip for my daughters cat, you have a cat, don’t you, maybe you should have a go a growing some for yours, apparently it’s easy to grow....

Hope everyone is well, it’s another lovely sunny day here, so that lifts the mood a bit...

lots of love xxxx

[Carnation]

Hi YNWA
Actually growing stuff in the garage. It has a window facing the sun, so you can imagine all the containers wanting the best position, so I rotate them.
Nothing showing yet, but only seeded yesterday.
So far, tomatoes, lettuce, Kale, Runner-beans and potatoes.
Good idea about the catnip.

It's very sunny day, but suffering from malaise today. I didn't sleep well at all and can't bring myself to even walk in the garden. Wobbly head and weird sight preventing me from moving much at all.
I tell Mr C, but he doesn't really understand.
As for going in the kitchen, well it's like I'm entering a war zone with the fear. And why does the kettle take so long to boil? It's torture standing there with legs buckling and eyes with floaters,which most of the time I think are flies so I'm waving my arms about trying to swish them out of the way, lol.

[YoullNeverWalkAlone]

Hi Carnation, hope your feeling a little better, it’s truly awful when you feel like that, I have done too many times to count, like you I tell hubby but they haven’t a clue what your talking about. Know exactly what you mean about the kitchen, I do a lot of leaning, even having to go to the loo is a struggle, but as we both know it’s only temporary and tomorrow will be entirely different.

Yeah see if you can get hold of some catnip seeds and start growing them, I’m sure your cat will love it...My greenhouse isn’t big so I’m limited to space too, do you transfer your pots outside once the frost has gone....


Hope you feel better soon Carnation, sending you a very big get better soon hug...

[Carnation]

Thanks YNWA

Yes, I'm going to transfer them outside this year, because I want them to grow quicker!
Some I will plant directly in the soil, even amongst the flower beds, because I want to utilise every bit of space for potential food. I normally do well with my runner beans, they are so easy to grow. Tomatoes can be a bit iffy, but I'm definitely keeping them inside this year. Potatoes and Carrots look after themselves really, so do herbs, but I've never grown kale before.
Lovely Monty Don is back on tv again, so hope he'll give us some good advice.

I feel a bit better than this morning and sat in the garden for a while and admired the beautiful blue sky.
I then got my exercise by walking my Mindfulness figure of eight on the grass and did a ten minute meditation.