Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[Carnation]

So great to hear from you glassgirlw, but what a shock you have just had. That 12 hour drive must have been quite grueling for you, my partner says its not the easiest of drives, but you can catch up and rest your body and mind. Your brother will appreciate your kindness and efforts. What a terrible thing to happen. As if the Covid situation is not enough!
Try to get some tlc time to yourself. xx

[glassgirlw]

Thank you, Pulisa and Carnation. I appreciate it. I think we’re all doing pretty well, given the situation. We just weren’t fully prepared that this would be the outcome. I think it was always in the back of our minds that it could happen, but she was so strong. Such a fighter. We were just convinced she was going to beat this thing. She was stage 4 when diagnosed, it was throughout 80% of her body at that point. But she was being treated at probably one of the best cancer centers here in the states and they were always so encouraging about her prognosis, that I think we didn’t give the possibility of losing her much thought. I do firmly believe in the power of positive thinking but I think it was just so far advanced and her poor heart just couldn’t take anymore. The doctor said She had experienced 6-7 years of heartbeats in the span of six months. I just can’t imagine.

I’m grateful she’s no longer in immense pain as she has been over the last few months. And although I’m not a deeply religious person, I do believe I will see her again someday. It’s a small comfort. Just trying to support my brother, and her poor mom, dad, and sister. They are just distraught and rightfully so. I have a daughter, and absolutely have no idea what I’d do if I lost her. I pray I never find out.

Today we help my brother clean their rather large house to prepare for the extended family and friends that will be making the trip down here over the next few days. It’s currently 4:30 a.m. here - went to bed at midnight, so it’s going to be another long day for sure. Maybe I will be able to nap later on.

Amanda

[Carnation]

Amanda it's just as important to look after you!
Adrenalin keeps you going, but also fuels the anxiety.
Please find time to rest my friend. xx

I just wanted to point out to readers that having a fast heart rate doesn't mean you are going to necessarily die!
Athletes pump their hearts and live to a healthy old age.
Amanda's sister n law was fighting advanced cancer that took its toll and sadly lost her life.
So please remember the heart is the strongest muscle in the body and capable of much pressure. xx

[glassgirlw]

Amanda it's just as important to look after you!
Adrenalin keeps you going, but also fuels the anxiety.
Please find time to rest my friend. xx

I just wanted to point out to readers that having a fast heart rate doesn't mean you are going to necessarily die!
Athletes pump their hearts and live to a healthy old age.
Amanda's sister n law was fighting advanced cancer that took its toll and sadly lost her life.
So please remember the heart is the strongest muscle in the body and capable of much pressure. xx

absolutely correct — PLEASE don’t read anything in to a rapid heartbeat!!! Hers was caused by extreme doses of so many different high powered chemo medications and a cancer that was so far gone - and she spent much of the last six months staying in the hospital because of it. We all get increased heart rate as a result of our anxiety - myself included - and sometimes for extended time periods. For my sister in law, hers wasn’t just “increased, rapid, or elevated” it was so high it required constant monitoring and management by some of the top doctors in our country. So it’s for sure not even close to the same issue we face with our anxiety. Our hearts can take a lot!!

[pulisa]

You must be exhausted, Amanda...Such a horrible time for this to happen..not that is ever a "good" time.

Your poor sister in law was so young but must have suffered hugely. Your brother must be absolutely shattered and devastated-he will be so grateful that you are there with him but as Carnation says, you must look after yourself too because it's very easy just to keep going despite extreme mental and physical fatigue xx

[DustingMyselfOff]

So, so sorry. How strong of you to make that drive to be there to support your brother. And as was mentioned, make sure you take care of yourself and allow lots of downtime when you do return back to your home. So sorry.
Sue

[glassgirlw]

Thank you all for the kind words - they truly mean a lot. I did manage to catch a quick “cat nap” earlier so I don’t feel too bad this evening. All the funeral arrangements are made and I’m getting ready to cook my brother some dinner. He’s been eating hospital food and takeout for far too long now, he needs something home cooked. I firmly believe he will be ok in time - this will just be a rough period for him emotionally.

Surprisingly, anxiety is under control today. I think when we have something else going on that takes up so much of our focus, we just don’t have time to dwell on anything else. Not sure if that’s good or bad, but not having to deal with anxiety on top of everything else right now is a blessing in itself!

[DustingMyselfOff]

Thank you all for the kind words - they truly mean a lot. I did manage to catch a quick “cat nap” earlier so I don’t feel too bad this evening. All the funeral arrangements are made and I’m getting ready to cook my brother some dinner. He’s been eating hospital food and takeout for far too long now, he needs something home cooked. I firmly believe he will be ok in time - this will just be a rough period for him emotionally.

Surprisingly, anxiety is under control today. I think when we have something else going on that takes up so much of our focus, we just don’t have time to dwell on anything else. Not sure if that’s good or bad, but not having to deal with anxiety on top of everything else right now is a blessing in itself!

I totally agree that when there is a REAL crisis going on, our anxiety takes a back seat, surprisingly. It's why I urged you to prepare for and allow a lot of downtime when you finally return back home. You are going to be exhausted, physically and mentally, and the anxiety you're not feeling now may very well smack you in the face afterwards. It always happens to me, so expect it, prepare for it, and hope for the best. In the meantime, I'm sure you are a blessing to your brother.
Sue

[pulisa]

I'll echo Sue's very wise words.. You are doing so well to look after your brother, Amanda and to keep calm and focused on dealing with what you have to do at this very traumatic timexx

[Carnation]

I didn't want to mention yesterday because I felt the day belonged to Amanda x But I've been dealing with an abscess on my tooth. Great timing with the BH holiday, but does that matter anyway with the coronavirus.
It arrived Saturday and two days on it seems to be healing, although Saturday night I resorted to paracetamol as the pain was unbearable.
So I wanted to share my home treatments incase anyone else gets into a similar situation.
Firstly don't suffer the pain, take a paracetamol. After 6 hours of groaning and holding my face in my hands I could bear it no longer. Don't delay the painkiller.
Don't Google, it will only scare you. Yes, I googled and it did scare me.
Rinse with mouthwash for cleaning. Gargle with very warm salt water regularly. Rub toothpaste on the area and don't rinse. Try a little honey too. Not at the same time. Lol.
Eat sloppy food as to not aggravate the area and drink plenty of hot tea. Rest!
I'm so lucky that the swelling has gone down as it seriously felt like I had a marble stuck in my gob.

Before this happened Mr C and I took our weekly visit to a shop where we get our fruit and veg. It is a large shop that has a rule of 4 people only. We have been going there all through lock down as our food delivery failed to provide. When we arrived the shop already had its 4 bodies so we waited outside. When we calculated 2 people, we went in. After a few minutes a person decided to come in the shop ignoring the rules to make the number 5. So the sales assistant shouted over to us, "Can one of you leave the shop please".
Mr C and I looked at each other in confusion for several reasons.
1. We'd never been asked to do that before, even with queues.
2. One of us would not be able to carry all our wares.
3. This sort of thing immediately puts me into a panic station.
Before I could respond Mr C had and shouted out, "I can't leave her, she suffers with agoraphobia", to which everyone else turned and looked at me, I suppose to see what someone looks like with agoraphobia.
I immediately felt embarrassed and awkward and after we let the person behind us get served first because she only went in for a cucumber, we awkwardly got checked out and left with no further discussion on the topic.
Now, do we stop going there? Do I wait in the car for any further visits? Do we carry on as if nothing happened?
I wanted to bring this up because this could happen to others. How should we react and does this mean outings could become 'single people only'?
There are much worse cases than myself with people with parkinsons and disabilities, but with a mental disability, it doesn't always show.

I'll finish on a good note. We are having afternoon tea delivered today. It was already booked from last week.
So I'm hoping all the food is soft to eat with my injury otherwise I'll have to eat all the jam and cream. x