Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[Carnation]

Hi All,

After 3 days of excruciating earache, it's finally easing. I never knew earache could be so painful, more so than than the mosquito bites I got at the same time! And of course I was obsessing that a mosquito got into my ear and that's why it was painful. Lol, the thoughts we come up with.

It's one of my favourite months next week, September!
I can get busy in the garden again, watch the second growth from my planting, hopefully rake in all my crops,) although I've had a good crop of runner beans the last 6 weeks).
I don't have to worry about high UV rays. I can sleep better at night, which is always a plus with an anxious mind. And I can do stuff without feeling like I'm having a menopausal flush.
I'm not wearing my hand brace anymore. After nearly 6 months the hand is almost there except for the thumb, but at least I can do most chores now. Although I choose my chores carefully and still insist Mr C does the washing up.

I often wonder, "If the body can heal, why can't the mind too?
The ultimate question. Some say it can and I know many that overcome their fears.
But what we must do is never give up, keep going and maybe one day we can look back and say, that was a difficult time, but I got through it and survived it! x

[MRS STRESS ED]

Oh sorry to hear you have earache its very painful hope you are getting some relief from it now, I am the same lately worrying about the smallest of things and like you said waiting for the next think to happen its driving me mad,

So l haven't been online for a few days thought that might help but it hasn't, l am still keeping busy with work and housework the usual mundane tasks 🙄 we have like dishes so can l borrow Mr C for my dishes Carnation 🤣 xx

hope everyone is well today and have a lovely week ahead xx take care xx

[Carnation]

It doesn't help with me either Mrs S, taking a break from the forum. It just makes you feel more alone in your suffering.
Mr C takes forever to do the dishes, it's really quite painful to watch. That's if he remembers, lol.

I had quite a reasonable day for once. Yay.
I've been pruning all the shrubs in the garden, then had tea and cake as a reward. Then we drove down to the beach and actually put foot on sand. Well, both feet really.
I took a video of the waves rolling in so I can look at it when I'm feeling a bit down.
I collected some pebbles. Why? I don't know I just did.
To prove to my mind and my agoraphobia that I CAN go out!

September now and a lovely temperature that should hopefully make us all feel a bit better! x

[MRS STRESS ED]

l hate posting on my phone l don't know what I'm doing wrong but it deletes my post 🤔 it drives me mad mylap top is broken.

Anyway l am not writing it again as its long winded but hope everyone is well and that's sounds lovely Carnation, l would love to take my dogs the beach so l will try to achieve this take care everyone bye for now xx

[Carnation]

That's so annoying Mrs S
It appears to disappear, but it's still lurking around somewhere.
The new autosave should prevent this. When it's happened to me I've come out of thread, gone back in and pressed the button below called reinstate auto save, if it happens to you again Mrs S. x

Well how two days can be so different.
On the basis of my success venturing out on Monday, I thought I'd do the same yesterday.
Admittedly I went in to town and not the beach, but I was so shaky blurry eyed and was not enjoying the experience at all.
Too many people, noisy, confusion with where to walk, stand and go with nearly everyone.
It was bad enough before this pandemic thing, but now it's just unpleasant for everyone!
But I continued on, through the discomfort and unpleasantness, but very pleased to get back home.
Going for a hat-trick, off to a farm shop out of the town to see if that's any easier on the mind and body. But think I'll do some yoga and meditation before I go.

I've also made a chart of affirmations and positives and stuck it on the wall by my bedside to hopefully give courage and remind me to do stuff like breathe, act like a warrior, control the fear and a bunch load of other positives. It's so easy to forget these helpful words when you actually go out in the big wide world, but hopefully I can fill my subconscious to the brim before I do.

Never give up! x

[Carnation]

Hi Everyone,

The Farm shop trip was a little better, but did I enjoy it? Not really. But I did come home with a tray full of pansies so the trip was worth while.
I think that's how you have to look at it, whether the effort is worth it?
The trip afterwards was definitely worth it as we came home with fish and chips and I didn't have to cook.

So with anxiety in tow, I'm trying to adapt this attitude of carrying on regardless. Staying focused, keeping busy, trying to keep as much normality into my life.
It's so exhausting, but at least I'm sleeping much better. Last night I actually slept all the way through and I haven't done that for months! Not even a loo visit, lol.

So. One of my favourite TV programmes is still going ahead this year. Strictly Come Dancing. How come?
We can't hug our family and friends or have a drink at the bar, even see a GP. But two total strangers can dance at close proximity for 3 months+! While the public entertainment sector is a big no no with all public dancing banned.
In the mean time, musicians, actors comedians are left out to dry, let alone party gatherings such as weddings have strict rulings as well as our day to day lives.
Seems very inappropriate to me under the circumstances.

TV is not worth viewing at all at the moment, so I'm wading through a number of films that I have recorded or my dvd pile. Yay, no adverts, no news bulletins, what bliss. Maybe that's why I'm sleeping better

[pulisa]

It's all about the Strictly "bubble" isn't it? One rule for the lucrative, another rule for the routine stuff which can be shelved..

I'm watching "The Tunnel" on DVD..I've really enjoyed the first 2 series and now I've just received the 3rd DVD so am looking forward to a bit more escapism. I think I'll need another decent box set to get me through the Autumn.. No Silent Witness to look forward to in January either!

I did give that Cormoran Strike Lethal White series a go but thought it was utter shite!

[Carnation]

I just looked 'The Tunnel' up Pulisa, it looks good, might give that a try. x
Also working my way through a batch of John Grisham films, which are very good.

[Carnation]

So, I ventured out 4 days running and have to say I don't feel any worse for it.
There was even a situation where I went in to a shop on my own because Mr C can't wear a face covering under no circumstances, so he waited outside while I braved going in with my scarf covering.
It certainly doesn't make my life any easier but I did it. And I gave myself a pat on the back for doing so.

The kitchen has also become a little easier lately.
Did I do anything different? No. But I do think it's more about mindset and I've been going in the kitchen and just standing there doing nothing saying the words, "do your worst, I'm not budging". And last night I managed to stand there making a super salad in art form where before I wouldn't even bother and just eat the baked potato with the other contents I plunged in to the oven. I've also put a few plants on the windowsill so I can divert my attention to caring for them rather than obsess about the way I am feeling.
Today I'm making a casserole, so that means a lot of chopping and time in the kitchen, so we'll see how we go.
I had a bit of an upset on Wednesday and it did affect me even making a cup of tea, so I'm beginning to think it's all about composure and emotions. And emotions can change quickly if we allow them to especially if we don't bottle stuff up and carry them around like a heavy rucksack on our shoulders.
Sue, if you are reading you have this when you go to your sister's place. Like a rise in feeling uncomfortable and ready to defend.
And I do tend to think the kitchen and bathroom are noted for 'thinking' rooms. Triggers for past events. There are particular meals I made for my parents and mum n law that send me back and turn me into a shaky nervous wreck, so I don't cook them anymore.
I also find using a bit of Mindfulness and talking or thinking every action as I go along helps to stay in the moment.
Remember, there are no rules, you are boss and you have control! x

[Carnation]

Got through making the Casserole, was a bit shaky at first. So much chopping!
Took about 30 mins prep, then shoved in the oven, which was the best part, just leaving it in there. I'm going to make a point of spending more and more time in the kitchen to overcome this feeling of fear. Baking some cakes is the next thing on the agenda.

So that extra time left me free to my garden. Planted 100+ bulbs yesterday ranging from crocus, narcissus, daffodils, tulips, snowdrops and meadow flowers. Hopefully this will give me something to look forward to. Pleased I've been doing my yoga because it's certainly helped with the bending in the garden. The yoga has definitely been beneficiary. I start with a short meditation, nostril breathing then I basically stretch everything, gently of course. Then finish up with a star position laying down and do a quick scan of the body for twitches and so on. The whole thing takes less than 20 minutes.

I'm also trying not to react to any symptoms. I note them, work out if it's necessary to take any notice and then carry on with what I'm doing. Not easy, but trying my hardest to follow that rule.
The one I have a lot of problems is the flushing of the face and chest. But I have to remember it subsides in a matter of seconds and remember, to stay calm!

Same with panicking. How many times have we been through this? We should know by now the feeling passes, it does us no harm, let it pass and carry on as normal.
Not as easy as that, is it? It's the most horrific feeling where you feel like you are fighting against a takeover of your body that you can't seem to control. Let alone the fear of dying when you have no real reason to feel that way.
We surely have to stop the habit of reacting to the fear of the feelings.

Hope everyone doing ok on this lovely sunny day what we officially call autumn now. xx