Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[MRS STRESS ED]

hi Carnation you have been doing so good so pleased for you, l get going out its a massive achievement,

Well done for overcoming the kitchen that's great, you sound so positive long may it continue,

keeping very busy by the sound of it, its definitely the way forward take care xx

hope everyone else is doing well too xx

[Carnation]

Hi Mrs S, lovely to hear from you x

Yes, I was doing really well until yesterday.
I plucked up the courage to go and see some friends about 5 miles away. First visit since the lock down.
That went really well. Then when we came home I went for a short walk by myself, which is something I struggle with normally because of my agoraphobia and lightheadedness and weird eyesight.
That went really well too.
I put the dinner on and went to play some piano.
I was in such a good mood and full of life.
Then out of the blue 'whoosh' a massive head rush that left me steering towards the sofa incase I collapsed and of course I didn't. It was only a second, a feeling like the head was swimming and I've had these before. One about 6 weeks ago, actually in a shop at the time. And many mini versions of them over the years.
But it crushed my confidence and I'm now thinking "everytime I seem to get my life back on track or feel happy, something like this happens".
But not to be a defeatist, I carried on as normal last night and this morning even though my brain is still trying to work out why it happened, what particular thing caused it and when's it gonna happen again?
So good ol anxiety has now more to get a hold of.
It's so annoying. This week has been my best for a long time.

[pulisa]

Absolutely no point trying to work out why it happened, Carnation. It did and nothing bad came of it. No need to let a head rush crush your confidence and no need to worry about if and when it will happen again. It only lasted for a second as you say and is only significant if you over analyse it xx

[Carnation]

You are so right Pulisa. Mr C said the exact same thing to me. I've kept myself busy today to keep my brain from wandering. Even went to the local shop wearing a face covering and I was perfectly ok. Apart from the uncomfortable feeling of wearing something over my face. I'm allowed not to wear one there and go at the end of the day, but I'm trying to get used to it because so many places have strict restrictions.
I can't say it's been an easy day for me, but I'm plodding on. I hope you are doing ok Pulisa xx

[Scass]

Hello, thought I’d pop in and see how you are doing. It looks like you are doing so well! The odd little blip is fine, nobody is perfect all day.
How are you doing yoga? From a video?


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[pulisa]

You are so right Pulisa. Mr C said the exact same thing to me. I've kept myself busy today to keep my brain from wandering. Even went to the local shop wearing a face covering and I was perfectly ok. Apart from the uncomfortable feeling of wearing something over my face. I'm allowed not to wear one there and go at the end of the day, but I'm trying to get used to it because so many places have strict restrictions.
I can't say it's been an easy day for me, but I'm plodding on. I hope you are doing ok Pulisa xx

I'm pretty tired, Carnation but hoping that a night away with my daughter this week will be successful and give us both a much needed break xx

[Carnation]

I bet you are Pulisa. Pleased to hear you've organised something for yourself and your daughter. You so desert it! xx

Hi Scass, lovely to hear from you x
Yes, a lot of ups and downs. Wish there were more ups.
I follow a yoga video online for anxiety and stress.
It's gentle yoga that starts with deep nostril breathing. Thought it might help with my sinuses as well.
I don't know if I'm allowed to promote people in the outside world on here. But if you type in yoga, anxiety stress, there's a video which is 16 minutes long with a very nice American woman who is also an actress. xx

[MRS STRESS ED]

Carnation don't let one bad thing spoil all your success you are doing brilliant, l am trying to tell myself the same and it seems to be working,

l'm not letting a bad day spoil a good day by looking back I'm going forward hehehe well l'm trying, keep doing what you're doing as its working good luck xx

Pulisa so pleased your going on a break with your daughter, l really hope you both have a great time enjoy xx

[Carnation]

Thanks Mrs S x

I did think I was making good progress. Just sort of spoils the hard work I've put in.
But like said, it's been and gone, just like all the others.

There's always something to divert your worry and yesterday I went and shut my poorly hand in the garage door. the thumb to be precise and I only took the brace off a few days previous because it seemed to be much better. And now it's all poorly again.
It's like I'm not supposed to use that hand, it's a liability.
What was also strange was the last couple of days there were a couple of accidents concerning hands. First of all, my cat knocked over an ornament which was of a little girl and on falling her hand got broken. Then a garden ornament which weighs a ton weirdly fell forward and her hand got broken in the process, even my horoscope was a warning, "beware of injuries you seem to be accident prone" maybe I need to invest in a space suit or armour of some sort, lol. Still, at least it takes my mind off of anxiety symptoms for a while.

[DustingMyselfOff]

Hi Everyone.... today is one of my day's off from the shelter so I thought it was high-time I get my butt back on this forum and catch up! I wish I would remember to do it more often - there is always so much helpful stuff in here. Whether it be coping tricks or just people sharing their strugges, this is a very reassuring and calming place to be.

I've been doing really well but had a surprisingly emotional 2 days. I cannot remember the last time I actually cried, but I spent almost two days crying througout the day and night. I know what the source was (a friend made a joking comment that I took WAY too seriously and allowed it to hurt me) and then I ran with it and I'm still shocked at how emotional I got. Her and I have discussed it in depth and we are totally on good terms but it was very upsetting for both of us: me because it must have unleashed some deep, childhood wounds, and her because she is devastated that she caused me pain. So maybe those two days of crying were years worth of hurt being released? In any event, it has now caused me to be exhausted and my anxiety is acting up.

Tonight me and three of my friends from the shelter are planning to go out to dinner and my anxiety is rearing it's ugly head. These are friends who I am totally comfortable with and can totally be myself around, and I will probably even mention to them that this "date" is causing me anxiety, but it's maddening that it's happening. "Normal" people get excited and look forward to dinner dates with friends but I am sitting here imagining all the things that could go wrong, mainly, that I will have physical symptoms that will ruin the evening for me and possibly others. Will I have a head-rush? Will I be dizzy and antsy? Will my colitis flare up? Will I have to go back to that old habit of faking what a great time I'm having while I'm secretly dying to get home? I think the "restaurant" factor must be stirring up old memories because if me and the girls were meeting at the shelter to do stuff I would be fine, but going into a more structured environment reminds me of all the struggles I've had throughout my life of being in public and pretending I was enjoying the social gathering.

My friends have offered that I can bring my husband (none of the rest of them have a spouse) and one of the ladies is bringing her teenage son, so I think I will have hubby come with me.... that will take some of the pressure off of me (of course the pressure is coming from ME!) I am again reminded that I do better when I have commitments and structure to my day and these days where I am off from work, I have too much time to focus on every ache and pain and the fact that my eyes seem to not be focusing well together.

So what I will ruminate on now is: am I feeling tired and anxious because of the two emotional days I had, or was I extra emotional because the anxiety (and maybe health issues) were starting to arise? And as Pulisa says, it doesn't matter - we don't need to figure it out, but still..... we try.

Be well everyone. Remind yourself of how much worse things COULD be and try to be grateful for the hands we were dealt.
Sue