Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[DustingMyselfOff]

Hi Ladies.
Ahhh yes, Meclazine. I have some in my medicine cabinet but only take it when absolutely necessary because it knocks me out. Which I guess isn't a bad thing when you're dizzy since you pretty much have to keep your eyes close anyway. :(

Thank you for the reminder, Mrs. C. Yup, intellectually I know all the things you reminded me of, but mentally and emotionally I have not been putting them into practice, so thank you for that. I decided when I overslept this morning and looked at the lousy weather outside that I was NOT going into the shelter today and would deal with everyone's urgencies remotely. I have been doing that via text, email and phone for 4 hours now and felt myself getting really worked up and on the verge of tears again, so yes, now that all the urgent stuff is taken care of, I am going to ignore the rest of the communication for a few hours. Except another volunteer just cancelled for tonight leaving us with no one to care for the dogs this evening, so I have delegated that to someone else and will check in with them in a few hours.

You are absolutely right - the job is NEVER off my mind, even when I'm playing with the kitten. And it needs to be. I was supposed to be at the casino for the next 3 days to take a break but ended up cancelling because there's too much going on at the shelter. But after the holidays, I'm going even if the ceiling is caving in at the shelter.

Of course I feel like I can do it all - that's what us anxiety-people always feel and that's part of the reason we have anxiety issues. And if I feel a weakness in an area, it's such a depressing, defeated feeling. Not sure who told me I had to be SuperWoman, but I have always thought I should be. Failure is not an option. Thanks for the reminders and the support. I'm going to stay in jammies today, eat junk food, watch trashy TV, and cuddle a kitten. Sounds like what Doctor C has prescribed and she knows about these things!
Sue

[Carnation]

I wouldn't wait until after the holidays to have your PJ time. It sounds like you need that to be a regular thing now!
There are reasons for those tears and you need that tlc.
You will not be failing in your position and some sort of truce needs to be agreed because it sounds like a position that is consuming your whole life.
It's ok having responsibility, but it seems to come at a price. That's my nagging over with, for now. x

[glassgirlw]

Hi sue - I have to agree with Mrs C on this one. I completely understand the work consuming your life thing. Arguably, why you do is so much better than my occupation as you’re helping homeless animals - and as an animal lover myself that is an extremely admirable field that you work in!! And there will unfortunately always be homeless animals needing care. That being said, for your own mental health, delegation is so important.

I find it hard to escape work myself. Always emails and phone calls to deal with “after hours” during evening and weekends. Sometimes I have to just force myself to ignore it so my brain can relax. PJ time sounds like the perfect prescription and one you should take advantage of often!!!

[DustingMyselfOff]

OK, you'll both be happy to know that I stayed in jammies all day and all evening, have barely left my recliner, and have been eating junk food / comfort food all day, including still right now. Yes, I have answered texts and emails regarding work, but I did NOT go into the shelter today and I did step away from the computer long enough to get some kitten therapy and to grab more junk food.

Thanks for taking care of me... we are all our own worst enemies. It takes a village to care for us.
Sue

[Carnation]

We are all guilty of neglecting self care at times.
We all need a gentle reminder and occasionally a kick up the... x

Well I had a terrible day with anxiety yesterday after my brilliant week of improvement.
Just goes to show how quickly we can be back at square one. Although I'm inclined to think it was due to a very late night and little sleep.
It confirms my initial thoughts of regular good sleep and relaxation are imperative to people like us.
All day I was anxious, lightheaded, eyes not focusing properly, agitated, worrying and fearful. And tons of adrenalin in my legs with the irritating vibrating foot.
I'm also wise enough to know that just a few days out shopping is not me on the home stretch, I've a long way to go. I also had a few upsets which takes me ages to filter out of my delicate mind. So I paid the price for it yesterday, went to bed early and today is another day.

I still believe I have made progress and mentally note the weeks achievements. 3 days shopping, total of 10 shops, wearing face mask and social distancing. 3 conversations with neighbours in the street lasting more than 5 minutes. And 3 times on my own when Mr C went for a walk.
Seems I'm in the 3s.

So what have I been doing?
I've been learning about the Power of Now which is basically Mindfulness. I'm learning to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Refraining my thinking and responses. (that one is really hard). I did some guided work on working on one of my past traumas. Taking 5 minute meditations throughout the day. Relaxing in between my chores. Nostril breathing. Fact.... did you know we only breathe out of one nostril at a time 3 hours one side, then the other side.
The main point is I'm plodding on with whatever I can get my hands on that I think will help me.
And I'm not trying to get rid of anxiety. You can't. The idea is to understand and control and limit your anxious thoughts and responses which in turn lessen the symptoms and feelings.
I'm learning to deal with my sensitive side, my angry side, my irritations, (oh, there are so many). My confidence, my energy, my creativity, my soul.
It's a lot of work. But if I can go into 10 shops after nearly a year, then the possibilities surely have to be endless.
We'll just have to see. x

[Scass]

I do love your updates C. Glad to see you are doing brilliantly and I hope you got a better night sleep last night.

I was terribly anxious at the end of last week and also very low mood. I thought I might need to speak to my GP. But then my period started and it all became clear! Funny how the cloud can lift due to hormones.
X


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[Carnation]

Hi Scass, lovely to hear from you

Oh yes, we mustn't forget about the hormones. Its like a double anxiety day.

[glassgirlw]

Oh Mrs. C - I’m sorry to hear yesterday was a rough day for you after such a good week. You’re right, we’re bound to have blips now and again, but I firmly believe it’s how we handle those blips that will dictate the future ones. Hopefully with each one we navigate, they’ll become fewer and far between. I hope today is much better for you!

[Carnation]

Thank you glassgirlw

To be honest I'm still on a high from my progress and understood why I had a not so good day yesterday.
When you suffer on a daily basis and get a week off from it, it's an amazing feeling. Especially when agoraphobic.

How are your meds going. Hope you had no more vertigo glassgirlw x

[glassgirlw]

it’s fantastic that you recognize the reasons for the way you’re feeling and can rationalize it. For myself, I find I can “let the symptoms go” so much easier when I can explain it to myself like that. And it’s a very powerful step in the right direction - allowing yourself to feel the symptoms of anxiety but just let them wash over you and not give them the attention they’re wanting.

So far so good on the vertigo! I didn’t take any meds on Friday and felt fine - yesterday morning felt like I possibly had an episode coming on so I took one pill, then was good all day. So I’m not sure that it was really needed (my monthly hit on Friday and I get a little “woozy” the first day or two of that, so I think that was the main cause) but regardless - no more episodes. Praying they’ve worked themselves out again lol! Just ordered my grocery delivery for today so plan to have yet another boring day at home!

Making one of my hubby’s favorite meals today, bbq meatballs and little smokies in the crockpot and a cheesy hash brown casserole. Very tasty and super simple, and good for cold days like today!