Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[Kalie galea]

Thank you so much for your reply it put a smile on my face I definitely need to be kinda to myself I seem to have one good day followed by a bad day just the thought of not being able to breathe won't escape my brain I close my eyes to try have a nap as been up since 3 but my thoughts seem to go wild and I keep checking my pulse to make sure my hearts still beating it's so silly and I feel silly for doing it just feel like this is it now I'm going to be stuck like this forever with these constant thoughts I've not known me to ever be this bad before I mean I tested positive 3 weeks ago symptoms went away within 12 days yet I'm still worrying about not being able to breathe and just don't know why or that it's going to come back and put me in hospital I really am my worse enemy thank you for replying to me hoping for better days

[Carnation]

Time heals Kalie. You've been through a terrifying time, but it's in the past now. Your body is working perfectly, it fought Covid, so that should tell you something. x

[Kalie galea]

Thank you I'm here hoping for better days anxiety/panic attacks sure takes over your life woke up at 3 again with racing heart thinking I can't breathe it's like my brain never sleeps or stops thinking

[DustingMyselfOff]

Sorry, Kalie, that you're having a rough time right now. I agree with Mrs. C. that since you tested positive, had mild symptoms and recovered quickly, your body is strong and apparently you have an immune system that kicked Covid's butt! If you should get it again it will be even a milder case since you now have built up an immunity to it. Health anxiety is a beast, but it will let up a little every passing day. Just try to learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. (Right, Mrs. C?)

Nothing much new with me. I bowed out of Christmas Eve family dinner since we see the same 15 people both days and decided I would only attend on Christmas Day. That morning one of my volunteers informed me that she woke up with a fever. I was trying to remember exactly the last time I had contact with her while debating if I should continue getting ready to go to my sister's or if I should cancel, so I left it up to my family. They agreed that since we have all been fortunate up to this point and none of us have contracted it that we should continue to play it safe and I should pass on the Christmas Day gathering. As you know, I strongly dislike those gatherings so there is a silver lining to this pandemic.

Unfortunately I still have all the gifts here that I didn't get to distribute so some night in the next week or two I will plan to go there and at least drop off some gifts, even if it's just to leave them at their door. And to be safe I'm going to find a COVID test site in the next few days just out of curiosity. Not only may I have been exposed but my body has been achey for a few days so might as well get checked out - I've only had one COVID test since this began almost a year ago - I guess I'm due for another.

I'm getting bored with routine. Same thing every morning, every afternoon, and every evening. Can't really make plans or go anywhere to break up the monotony but I keep telling myself I'm one of the lucky ones. We haven't lost our jobs yet, we have a warm house and plenty of food and good health. So I hate to complain about boredom, but it does take a toll and lead to depression. And I've really packed on some pounds the past month and it's making me miserable, so January 4th I will go back to clean, healthy eating and try to wean myself off of sugar again. It's poison and it's so addicting! That could be why my body aches - I've been eating so lousy!

Anyway, Happy New Year to us all? Let's hope so!
Sue

[Kalie galea]

Thank you for your reply sue I had a better sleep last night instead of taking a dizapam I took a promethazine that I was told it's more herbal and cannot harm you I woke up at 8 today straight into thinking I can't breathe then I was constantly thinking I'm going to stop breathing it was like my heart beating fast but I didn't have all the normal tingling hands ringing ear choking didn't go into a full panic it's been 18 days on venlafaxine 37.5mg X5 days 75mgx7days and 112.5mgx6days just yesterday and today is the first time I felt myself in the last 23 days and I seem to have one bad day and one good day just hoping this isn't forever and o will be getting better I been a week ago I was having loads of panic attacks calling ambulances going er even had ecg x-rays and bloods all came back perfect sats 100 yet I still cant seem to shift them hoping for better days sue do you suffer from anxiety and panic attacks are you on meds? Hope you are well and thank you so much for getting back to me

[DustingMyselfOff]

Hi Kalie.
Oh heck yes, panic attacks, OCD and meds. My panic attacks started when I was 16 years old and were so bad I tried checking myself into a hospital but they needed my parent's permission and my parents weren't the type of people I could talk to about what I was feeling. Their reaction when I tried was to shush me and tell me to keep it to myself and not tell anyone or I might get locked into a nut house forever! I've dealt with panic and anxiety for decades now, sometimes getting worse, sometimes getting relief, and at one point I couldn't even leave the house or drive or care for my young children. My doctor had been begging me to try Prozac (instead of the tranquilizers that I had to keep taking more and more of) and when I finally couldn't take it anymore, I broke down and tried it. That was 30 years ago and I'm still on it. I also carry around a low-dose tranquilizer as a security blanket but I very rarely need to actually take one.

Some of us can get by without meds, but some of us have a medical, chemical imbalance that makes it necessary for us to treat it as we would any other medical condition: with the proper medication. My doc kept reminding me that if I was diabetic I would take insulin and if I had cancer I would take chemotherapy, so why not treat my OCD and panic attacks with medication also?

I live a very normal life these days and honestly can not remember the last time I had a full-fledged panic attack. Yes, I have anxiety and it makes me physically ill, but I rarely if ever have a panic attack. Those were happening a few years ago whenever I would try to drive on a highway - I would feel like fainting and have to pull over and get off the next exit, but I went for hypnosis and thankfully can now get on highways. I don't like it, but I don't panic anymore. Will this last forever? Who knows, but if any of it starts causing me problems again I won't hesitate to consider tweaking my meds or maybe going for more hypnosis. We each have to do work works for us - there is no one right or wrong answer.

I hope you find the peace you so desperately deserve soon.
Sue

[Carnation]

Kalie,

You are doing fine. One day good, one day bad is part of recovery. Your one day will turn in to two and three and so on. Always expect a bad day, even without anxiety.
Or maybe not see them as bad or good and just days! x

[Carnation]

Sue, is just me, but when I read other people's stories, I feel the pain, get a little upset, even a bit shivery and anxious. I suppose that's the down side of empathy.
But hey, haven't you done well, as Brucie would say.
You are an amazing woman Sue and you need telling from time to time. x

[Carnation]

So I popped out today to my corner shop.
Quite anxious to be honest with deserted streets.
You'd think I'd find it easier and the little shop was completely empty so I had to myself.
But I know the anxiety builds up way before I even put a foot outside the front door.
So there was I sweating on a day no more than 2c.
Remembering to be comfortable with being uncomfortable, I let the sweat do its thing and by the time I came out of the shop which couldn't have been longer than ten minutes, my face mask was soaked with hot breath as well. Lovely. Really uncomfortable, but I accepted it.
My kitchen has been a real test over the Christmas.
If I'm honest, I'm still struggling with being in the kitchen doing my Mary Berry bit. But somehow I get through.
I'm going to put it down to triggers of the past.
Think I'm also on my twenty something film since Christmas, lol.
Only a couple of days til we see 2020 out and if you are reading, congratulate yourself for getting through it. x

[Kalie galea]

Thank you both for your replies again my day got so much worse I liturally ended up crying I look around and see so many people happy and I'm sad and lost thinking I'm dying everyday is so exhausting the way my chest gets so tight how I honestly feel so drained that my heart is going to pack in and stop beating or I'm just going to stop breathing not being able to relax and sit still oh how I long to just relax no thoughts at all and just watch a film the thoughts of me never seeing my husband kids mum and dad again how can anxiety and attacks cause all these emotions sue and carnation you are both so strong I wish I could have your strength sue I am so glad you haven't had a attack in a while you have come so far I long to be there soon this really is tourture I feel like my life has been drained out of me I just want to feel me again I don't know how my day turned so bad I'm scared this is now the permanent me 😪