Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[StressedEric]

Hi Carnation,
Been a while since I did any new posts on the forum. I have been coping with my anxiety relatively well until around 3 weeks ago when I had my first covid jab. My anxiety increased quite a lot a couple of days later. It likely the jab was the trigger for the anxiety rather than the cause. Since then it gradually been downhill. I tried going back on Citalopram but even though it sermed to start to reduce the anxiety a bit it seemed to increase my tinittus - this is a known side effect. I reluctantly made decision to come off citalopram after just over a week and am tapering off but my anxiety is awful. 3 choices really - try another AD med which i not confident in doing, try and manage my anxiety without meds thru coping mechanisms and support from others or stay on citalopram and hope the tinittus settles. Its a gamble whatever option.

[Carnation]

Well hello stranger
I heard you've been doing well up until this glitch.
That's what it is Eric, a glitch.
The choice you make has to be yours but I think you need to stick to what ever one you choose.
I'm sure the chopping and changing about will not be helping.
Good to hear from you Eric.

[StressedEric]

I might drop into the NMP chat room do you still go in there?

[Carnation]

Yes Eric. There's members there every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday from about 10.30pm onwards.

[Carnation]

Hi all

Not only is my thread quiet, so is the forum.
Where is everyone? Hopefully getting on with their lives.
But maybe their is another reason.
I know censorship has managed to filter through every avenue. Just words like lockdown, vaccine, virus, restrictions and words of that nature send alarm bells to word police and others that follow suit.
Maybe our freedom to express is no longer worth the battering from people who decide what is best for us personally. Even community forums a mention of 'The lockdown has affected my agoraphobia' is removed immediately. And here we are in mental health week. Why a week, I ask? It's all year, every year, years and years. Are we only supposed to give this attention for only one week a year? Like the homeless. Oh yes, get these people off the streets during a pandemic and give them a hearty meal at Christmas but forget about them for the rest of the time.
I've never been one for calendar celebrations such as father's day or mother's day because it should surely be all-year round. And my mum passing just on the cusp of mother's day was proof to me that I needed to tell her how much I thought of her before that so-called 'Mother's Day'.
So never hold back and wait for someone to tell you when it is appropriate to speak or express your feelings because it's you that has to bear that regret for not expressing how you feel when you want to say something you feel you need to say or share. x ❤️

[Carnation]

If there are any doubts that you might think your attempts at battling your fears is pointless then I'm here to tell you to keep going!
2 years ago I couldn't face going into a shop. I would shake, feel dizzy, my face would be flushing, I wanted to get out escape and my legs were either feel ridged or wanted to run for the hills.
Every time I attempted this over and over again I would feel the same way. Words cannot describe the fear and the way I felt but I still kept going.
I would cry sometimes at the thought of going out and many a time I would make an excuse not to go because I just couldn't face it. It was exhausting. Sometimes I would just sit in the car and let my partner go in for me which made me feel even more weak and lifeless. Depression would set in many times and it was a vicious circle of a life that I could never have dreamed of being in.
My fear was building up for years to a point of agoraphobia, social anxiety and what I felt was a lack of control. I'd never been not in control before and there I was dependant on my partner. Some of you with family and friends.
I've always been a determined person and fought through many challenges in my life. But this? Why couldn't I battle this? The answer was just not coming. And yet the answer was so clear in the end.
It was because I was battling, fighting, whatever terminology you want to call it. I couldn't 'just be'.
It's ok to push yourself to go out or do something, but not to fight the fear or feelings. Your mind and body have to know there is no threat. That you are perfectly safe.
So I kept going. Then one day. I felt a shift. I thought, "why am I fighting myself?" let's try, whatever happens to me, let it happen. My home isn't my sanctuary. I suffered there too. In fact I felt better going out.
Gradually I built up going out more and more. Talking to more people that would pass me by. Walking a bit more to eventually on my own. So what if I flush. Its only like blushing. So what if I have a feeling. Its only a feeling. So what if my thoughts are scary. We watch scary on tv every day. So what to everything.
Keep going. So what if I have a bad day. You WILL eventually see improvement and not even realise it. ❤️

[Lencoboy]

Hi all

Not only is my thread quiet, so is the forum.
Where is everyone? Hopefully getting on with their lives.
But maybe their is another reason.
I know censorship has managed to filter through every avenue. Just words like lockdown, vaccine, virus, restrictions and words of that nature send alarm bells to word police and others that follow suit.
Maybe our freedom to express is no longer worth the battering from people who decide what is best for us personally. Even community forums a mention of 'The lockdown has affected my agoraphobia' is removed immediately. And here we are in mental health week. Why a week, I ask? It's all year, every year, years and years. Are we only supposed to give this attention for only one week a year? Like the homeless. Oh yes, get these people off the streets during a pandemic and give them a hearty meal at Christmas but forget about them for the rest of the time.
I've never been one for calendar celebrations such as father's day or mother's day because it should surely be all-year round. And my mum passing just on the cusp of mother's day was proof to me that I needed to tell her how much I thought of her before that so-called 'Mother's Day'.
So never hold back and wait for someone to tell you when it is appropriate to speak or express your feelings because it's you that has to bear that regret for not expressing how you feel when you want to say something you feel you need to say or share. x ❤️

I don't think the actual words lockdown, vaccine, virus, restrictions, etc, are banned on here per se, it's more to do with the context and relevance in which they're referenced which might sometimes be a tad controversial.

[Carnation]

You are right Lencoboy, not on NMP, within reason of course. I was talking generally. I.e. Facebook, Twitter, General Forums. But thank you for pointing that out.

[fishman65]

I haven't posted in quite a while Carnation so thought I'd jump in here and say something. Often I find that if I have a quiet spell, its feels harder to post once that silence has been established. Maybe that's just one of my quirks, or perhaps other can relate. This is despite having good reasons to post with continued anxiety concerned with the return to 'normal'. Mrs F still sleeps, my Dad is still frail and I was over at his trying to guide him through the instructions to a new thermostat for his heating.

Its a digital one, the very worst scenario at my Dad has always been a technophobe and with his 92nd birthday in September, he hasn't got any better. He was spitting bullets and calling the plumber all sorts of things, threatening to hold back his cheque. The plumber wasn't there at the time, but I managed to calm him down and set the thermostat to his desired temps and timings. All this came off the back of driving to the tropical fish section of a garden centre in need of a new light for the fish tank. The lights the lady showed me were between £65 and £80, while I knew the same kind were on Amazon for around £30.

So I drove to the bank, put the cash I had back into my account and then bought the Amazon light fitting. It arrives tomorrow. All this was very testing though, my anxiety seems fixated on 'balance' these days. So feeling like I'm walking on air, trying not to turn too quickly etc. The anxiety seems to hover, looking for some aspect of my life to attach itself to.

I totally understand your story Carnation, the agoraphobia and SA. You have my total sympathy, not to mention my admiration, and yet I know how strong you are for struggling on with your life in the face of these bitter enemies.

[Carnation]

Fishman, you really are such a nice guy.
And a little of me thinks you come on my thread because it must appear I'm just chatting away to myself most of the time with very little response from others.
Lol, I'm use to that because that is the reality of us sufferers. Little outside communication, practically no invitations and dare I say, no friends. Either people see you as an outcast or you make yourself one.
However we still get lonely at times and seek some sort of human contact and NMP allows us to do that. I have met some wonderful people on here that will be lifelong friends and outweigh most of the people I have met throughout my life.
Fishman, you truly are amazing! You have your 92 year old father who seems to have no help but from you. Your wife seemingly depends on you 24/7. Let alone the rest of the family. Just remember the next time you feel jaded what you actually have leaning on you.
And you still find time to pop on someone's thread to give them support. Which you've done many a time with our friend Buster.
You have one big heart my friend and one of the most selfless people I have ever met. You reread that last sentence fishman, especially when you feel washed out again with all your duties and caring. And for just a part of the day, you take time for you because you deserve it!