Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[pulisa]

I'm sure that poor lady will be so pleased that her piano music collection is going to a person who will truly treasure it. I'm sure you made her day and you have overcome a major anxiety challenge so well done!

[Lencoboy]

Thanks catkins, your words were very much appreciated x
Thanks also to Lencoboy for reminding me that I'm not alone in these thoughts. I understood all that you said and many questions flood my brain on the run-up to such an event. As you know, I do smoke Lencoboy but have never smoked around nonsmokers. It makes me feel just as uncomfortable as the nonsmoker.
Well I went. Gave myself a good talking to, even had an excuse ready to leave abruptly. I had something in the oven, lol. I actually did and its not something I don't do normally (go out with something in the oven), but this was braising steak on the lowest mark on the cooker that I will hopefully enjoy this evening.
But strangely all my fears disappeared when the lady opened the door, except for the gush of heat from her central heating, so coat came straight off.
I actually knew the lady from about ten years ago. Obviously not very well otherwise I'd remember her name. But we met a few times in conversation.
She opened the conversation by telling me she had terminal cancer which immediately put everything into perspective. It suddenly seemed sad to be buying her collection of music and put my awkward anxiety condition well into the oblivion. We had a lovely chat, I gave her some money and now I'm back home with a pile of music to last me a lifetime, lol. Cake less, because I had my cake yesterday.

Congrats to you for your efforts today Carnation.

I think a lot of our dread at the thought of setting foot in other people's houses (especially those of strangers) is the fact that we're entering territories where the occupants make all the rules and decisions (which is fair enough in most cases) and the fear of unwittingly doing or saying something potentially distasteful or objectionable within their 'territory', such as accidentally making a mess, spilling a drink, knocking something over (and inadvertently causing damage), disturbing/upsetting their pets or needing to use their toilet (which some people can very occasionally be funny about, especially the mega OCD 'hoity-toity' types).

[Carnation]

Wow! Thanks Pulisa, Buster, Catkins and Lencoboy. You've made me feel like I've just completed the London Marathon. Although earlier on today that seemed more viable than entering unknown territory. I now wonder how such a simple task can be so overwhelming. Best not to try and overthink it now.
I'm very pleased I went. I probably overpaid for the music but just seeing the lady's face light up was worth it.

[Carnation]

I've been banging out 'Hey Jude' on the piano the last couple of days and now my head is full of 'na, na, na, na na na na', driving me mad. And I'm still going to the bin under the sink which obviously ain't there. Lol.
My high anxiety that was so apparent before the appointment to see that lady has dropped considerably and makes me wonder how you can become so hyped up so quickly to fade away in the time it takes to sing a verse of 'Hey Jude'.
Appointments are not my ideal way to live but pretty unavoidable in life, so either I have to learn to go with the flow or hope in time they will become easier.
I wonder also if I hadn't gone whether I'd still be in that anxiety state or kicking myself for not going.
So my advise would be to bite the bullet and go for it. There's always options if the situation becomes too overbearing but at the same time, once you are there it is normally not as bad as anticipated.

[Catkins]

Excellent piece of advice!

[Carnation]

Despite my HUGE progress I found myself having a panic attack yesterday which as you know is horrible and very uncomfortable. I'm unaware of the trigger and could probably list a few things but I'm thinking it's probably not a good idea to syphon through the causes because it could lead to avoidance. Avoidance of foods, tasks, places, even thoughts. My best thought was to get back to normal as quickly as possible and that's what I did.
A couple of hours later I went for a gentle walk then in to garden to do some jobs finished with a reward of tea and cake. The rest of the day was quite relaxed and I felt the effects of a post attack with a malaise.
When I woke this morning I was quickly reminded by my astute brain of the previous day's experience so turned to my usual absorbing of calming Apps and self care.
I stumbled across something called ecstatic dance. Immediately smiley badges and illegal substances came to mind with people meeting up in unused lockups in a far away location, but when I delved further it seems to be a relatively new thing for people that suffer with anxiety, depression and lack of confidence and if you can bypass the rave videos you will find a homage of videos relating to self healing and building confidence.
Basically you find yourself some good music, favourite tunes, something with a good beat or just something that moves your soul. Then you dance freely to the music either on the spot or moving around or both and let all inhibitions go. Using your arms, legs, head, body feel the music. It's like a free-spirited yoga that's far more fun. It also loosens any stiff muscles, is very grounding, good for the heart and excellent for the soul.
So I tried this today and it was fun. Its given me more confidence with grounding and I feel more energised. It's a thumbs up from me.

[pulisa]

Maybe that's what Michael Gove was doing when he was filmed disco dancing recently?

Glad you've found some success with this, Carnation..

[Carnation]

Lol Pulisa. Could be, although you normally do this alone or with a selected few and not in front of the press.
I genuinely like it Pulisa, even Mr C wants to have a go.

[Catkins]

That sounds like a great thing. I guess it'll burn off any adrenaline that is lurking too. I must admit I do sometimes dance a bit on my own as a break from hoovering - but in a limited restrained way, maybe I need to let go a little!

[Carnation]

Definitely catkins.