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Thread: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

  1. #3211
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    May 2021
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    What an absolute delight watching some Betty White first thing in the morning.

  2. #3212
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Do we see anxiety as the enemy?
    Make it your friend and your perception of fear will change.
    It is not the enemy, it is there to protect you.

  3. #3213
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    We've all done it. "What you ask?"
    Neglected our self care.
    "I'm too busy". "I feel ok at the moment". "" I'll do something tomorrow ". " I'm not in the mood ".
    They are all excuses for not spending valuable time on yourself. When do we start spending time on ourselves? When we are normally feeling rock bottom or when we find we struggle with our normal daily routine.
    Then we bash ourselves up further for not applying the care that we need and thoughts of "I must not let myself slip into this mode again". Its so common but we still keep doing it.
    And how and what self care do we actually need?
    For some it may be as simple as a designated time to yourself in your own space, maybe alone or with someone else. It could be a therapist or a friend having a chat. Or it could be solitude time with meditation, listening to music or doing a hobby, reading a book, having a nap or going for a walk.
    Is this enough though?
    Not if you haven't been giving yourself attention for too long a period or your mind and body need more.
    What exactly is self-care? What do we need to do and how much do we need to do it?
    A couple of days ago, after a morning of tears for no particular reason at all, I turned to the help of calming Apps for a good 2 hours followed by a short nap. I immediately felt a shift in my mood and my stresses diminishing. By the afternoon I was calm enough to go out at get some errands done, but by the evening I was sitting on the sofa half watching something on the tv obsessing about my heart, thinking about high blood pressure and strokes and checking my pulse. Which I did. And was fine. Actually it was more than fine. It was really good. I almost laughed at myself for being so paranoid. Even more so for taking readings when Mr C wasn't looking because he would say, "you doing that again!" and I'd normally reply, "but I need to know to calm my mind".
    Maybe the tv was boring, maybe I want to feel reassured, maybe I'm a little obsessive, maybe I can't stop thinking about my health. When you think about it, heart rates change all the time, but do we think so much about our health when gardening, walking or doing something?
    It's the time when we are supposed to be relaxing, sitting. A time where our brains have nothing to concentrate and leave an opening for unwanted thoughts.
    Some of that time should be self care. Also when you are doing something mundane like washing-up or cooking dinner. Just stop for a second or two. Take note of the present. Listen to the sounds, look around you, take note of the chore you are doing and bring yourself into the present. When you go into the garden to sweep the leaves. Don't just grab the broom. Stop to look around you and take note of what is around you, what has changed, what new growth can you see. When you walk. Don't look at your feet all of the time or straight ahead. Look around you from time to time. If the tv is boring, find a film, even turn it off, put some music on, phone a friend, read a book.
    Maybe your brain is telling you, "you don't need this mundane viewing". Something may have even triggered your thoughts or feelings. But mainly, you ARE ok, but need to apply some self care. Just think how many times you had these thoughts and you were actually ok. Your anxiety wants you to be ok and is protecting you. Just a little too much. Listen to it and convince it you are fine and apply some self care to doubly reassure it whenever you can.

  4. #3214
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    After I fell off the rollercoaster that my life had become last May I was told I needed to work on self care and self compassion. To be honest I had to use google to find out what it meant, I had completely lost my ability to do so. Even google didn't help much to be honest.

    It is sometimes incredibly difficult to do and sometimes I still get so caught up in things I forget or put it off. Reading your post has made me decide, yes I need to do something. I've had two rough days at work. I'm going to make something for tea and while it's in the oven I'm going to put on a guided meditation.

    Thank you for opening my eyes a little this evening.

  5. #3215
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Catkins, I must admit that I was pretty much the same with not knowing what self-care actually meant.
    It's also a bit like someone saying to you "take care". What actually does that mean? I find it a bit annoying because I do so much taking care that it turned me into a nervous wreck. However the term 'take care' is misused in its meaning as a replacement for saying bye and sounds more endearing. So most of the time it is not a request for you to take care but to show you the person saying this is endearing.
    Back to self care and self compassion. Oh my, I could be here for hours and probably will be over the days /weeks.
    But what I've learnt /read/heard is an acknowledgement for your life, feelings, needs and care. There it is again, the word 'care'.
    The self compassion is a little more easier to understand in my view. Loving yourself, not blaming yourself, not hurting yourself, not depriving yourself, knowing your worth, not being jealous, not feeling guilty, even admiring your reflection and not seeing ugly.
    Do you know that the most attractive people can see the most imperfections? And the most caring people rarely find time for themselves. The bravest of people have suffered the most and the most loving of people have not received it return. Of course there will always be exceptions. And these are my words and not those of a textbook.
    Basically, we all at times are too hard on ourselves and strive for perfection in ourselves, our work, our home, our lives. When most of the time we should be saying "I did my best, I do have good points, I am a good person, and I am proud of myself. Sometimes you need to feed the soul, speak the words, be proud of the progression you've made and love yourself.
    This can take time if for instance you have a number of years of suffering in this way. But sometimes you can have a sudden turn of realisation.
    There are Apps and books that can help with this and people will often say that don't have the time. There should always be time for you. You are important and the benefits are fruitful for your soul. I'll end my waffling for this post for now and no doubt I will add to it at some point.

  6. #3216
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    A post from my daughter about self care and self-forgiveness. Proud of this girl!

    "A reminder to myself and to you: be gentle with yourself.

    This is the time of year when we catch physical illnesses and seasonal depression kicks in. We may also be experiencing hardships, such as financial struggles or a loss. Not to mention, we are all still going through a pandemic!

    If you find yourself not being able to stay on top of your routines or basic chores, thats okay. If you find yourself sleeping a little extra, or resting your body or brain a little more, that’s okay. If you are just doing what you need to do to get by right now, that’s okay.

    Whatever you’re going through right now, know that your struggles and emotions are valid. You are allowed to take a step back to heal, to rest, to survive. You’re not alone; I see you, I hear you, and I love you. "


    FMP
    __________________
    "Eat. Drink. Enjoy the work you do. Be thankful for the blessings God gives you in this life. Live, love and seek out the things that bring your heart joy. The rest is meaningless... Like chasing the wind." King Solomon

    The best help is the help you give yourself! http://cbt4panic.org/

  7. #3217
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Very true FMP.

  8. #3218
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    FMP, your daughter sounds like she's completely in control. Great words, good advice.

    Funny how a word has derived in our language and formed into two letters, 'ok' and become so useful in daily life.
    It's short, it's sweet, it's too the point!

    Personally I'm ok with saying I'm ok but can't help cringing when someone asks me if I am ok? I'm learning to understand that meaning is mainly a greeting as mentioned before in a previous post and to not assume I might be looking like hell on earth.

  9. #3219
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Last night I restarted my affirmations before going to sleep and did the same when I woke up this morning.
    I wasn't expecting miracles but was surprised to find myself waking without the assistance of an alarm clock, which hasn't happened for a long time and felt much more fresher than a lot of previous mornings.
    It's so easy to scroll your phone just before bedtime and probably not the best idea before sleep.
    Reading can be good, if the right matter but I quite like the voice of someone sending me off to land of nod with positivity.

  10. #3220
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    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    It's not been an easy January for some including myself.
    The low mood started just before Christmas and continued for a glorious 6 weeks. The weather was the perfect backdrop to match the mood with dull days, strong winds and very little sun. And it took a great deal of strength to attend to my self care mentally and physically.
    I wasn't keen on going out but was concerned for my agoraphobia tendencies. So I paced myself with 2 days out, 1 day in for most of the time. And each time I went out I was surprised how well I coped. The days I stayed in I turned to affirmations, napping, some form of exercise, albeit on the minimal side. Taking time to do absolutely nothing just added to my low mood and the longing for this miserable January to pass. Why January? Why even blame January and not another month. Well I suppose I need to blame something for the way I feel when really it's a mood that can come anytime of the year but for some reason January gers the blame for what's going on in my head. Will February the 1st be the turnaround? Why should a day later make any difference. Because its psychological and to a certain extent we create a lot of our own suffering. Why should we be bothered about the weather. Again, I read. It's weather, its a season. Life still happens no matter what the weather. But no, I accepted this January as doom and gloom and I had no evidence to back it up. Its also a month I've had the most acid reflux to date. Time spent in my bed longer than I should. Eating more to satisfy my worry of sugar levels when logically is ridiculous when you are not doing much at all. And leaving my thoughts to wander aimlessly. I'm beginning to see what affliction I have caused to myself.
    My walking on a boat / mattress feeling came back, my eyesight blurry, bloating of the stomach, twitching of the muscles, tingling of the hands and feet and at times, out of breath.
    So yesterday was actually a lovely sunny day and I geared myself to spend the whole day in the garden. A mixture of sitting, pondering and tidying. Thinking beforehand, "will I be capable of such a task. Absolutely! The time passed quickly. I saw new life in the garden which filled me with excitement. I did some gruelling work with weeding and was surprised where I gained the energy from. I felt the sun on my face. My body felt better and so did my mind. And it was still January.
    I decided enough was enough. Nothing bad happened to me and I was satisfied with my day.

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