Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[Carnation]

You must be pleased to see your mum again Darksky.
I agree with the simple things and if my mum was still alive I'd savour a simple chat and a cuppa together. And in my own little world I often find myself saying, "what do you think mum? " when I'm trying to make a decision or just something simple like choosing plants for the garden. Even more so if with my clothes because mum would always be honest and I'm quite sure Mr C says it looks ok just to be nice and shut me up. And mums are honest, just like your mum Darksky. She wasn't afraid to say she preferred Mr D to do the pushing and maybe she didn't want you to have the hard work on this occasion or wanted to see your face which is impossible if pushing the chair.
It's only when things are taken away from you or a threat of losing that you realise the little things matter. Anxiety does that in its abundance with our health anxieties, our lives, the little things. So I take time now to look around, hear and see things that I rushed by pre anxiety. I think about what pleases me, what maters and pay attention to the little things because in the end they turn out to be the big things.

[Catkins]

That sounds like a lovely day Darksky.

I agree with everyone, the little things keep me sane (ish), the blossom on the trees at the moment is such a delight.

[Carnation]

Who stole the sun? My heating is back on again and still very attached to my winter duvet. My thoughts for the future, only buy winter clothes.
I was reminded yesterday we have another bank holiday weekend coming up. I'm just getting back on the track from the last one, lol.
My hay-fever is well and truly at it's height and between the yellow flowery rapeseed oil fields and the strong winds I can now do a good Bonnie Tyler impression. Blossom is coming at me from all directions. It's not preventing me from going out and I let Mr C drive yesterday as we had to travel further than our normal vicinity and really wanted to be in that driver's seat. It's been an absolute new lease of life for me. Tomorrow I'm off to the garden centre to see how the land lies with bedding plants. Think it may be another couple of weeks before it's ok to plant. At the moment I have several seedlings of flowers lined up on the bathroom shelf and they are even reluctant to grow there. I'm giving the tomatoes another go but keeping them inside until the last knockings. I'm realising it must be so difficult for farmers with this unreliable weather, so up and down.
My anxiety has been around but controllable. Keeping busy helps loads but I'd like to get the point where I just sit or stand and it disperses naturally. Acknowledge, accept, and just be. Lol, if only it were that simple.

[Catkins]

You are doing so well and it will come and if it doesn't you will handle it!

[Carnation]

Thank you catkins x

[Carnation]

Since Friday, I have lost my voice. After about a week of being husky, it's gone completely. So I'm no longer thinking it's hay-fever and after a bit of research found out it could be possibly a acid reflux reaction. Especially as I've puked up the stuff several times in the last week. Sorry t.m.i.
It's laryngitis but no sore throat and I don't feel ill. Just a bit jaded. I have no idea why it's so bad because my diet is basically the same, so I'm thinking it's a build up.
So I'm adapting to life without a voice. Luckily I can still speak out here and I text Mr C or nod my head up and down or from side to side, lol. He's now come up with a system where I clap once for yes and two for no. Only trouble is he forgets which one is what and I'm tempted to throw my woman's weekly at him.
I've got pen and pad for anything longer so it's all a bit weird. I can't remember losing my voice before. Maybe a bit croaky but to open mouth to speak and just a whoosh of nothing but a croak is definitely new to me.
It's something I will never take for granted again, because I can't phone anyone and if someone phones me I'm afraid all they will here is some heavy breathing. I can't even phone the doctors if I wanted to, lol. And I definitely wouldn't have Mr C speak on my behalf. For one thing he exaggerates, gets things wrong and is extremely forgetful. Lol, he even forgets I've lost my voice and I roll my eyes in the next room while he shouts things from watching the TV. Does it have its advantages? Well I don't have to make conversation if I don't feel like it. I have an excuse to do nothing, but that's not really me because I like to keep busy. I'm definitely feeling the peace but in the wrong way. At least a monk has a bit of a singsong and prayer. I'm just left with the chatter in my head.
I can still do my gardening so that's a relief but calling the cat is out, so I manage a whistle. Jeez, this is a strange one.

[Darksky]

That’s odd, hope it comes back soon. I would imagine that Mr.D would be envious of Mr. C if it were me. Perfect peace

My sisters voice gets husky now and then because of her reflux, although it’s never entirely gone.
It must be very flustrating but it will come back given time. Just keep your fluids up to moisten your throat. Honey perhaps?

[Carnation]

I'm sure Mr C is secretly enjoying the silence from me Darksky. I can still do many hand signals though.
Yes, fluids is the recommendation. Not enjoying the continuous peeing though, may have to up my order on toilet rolls this week.
It's strange because I don't feel ill but I'm not 100% either.

[Carnation]

Its been nearly a week of no voice now and today I'm pleased to be able to say a few words, although very croaky. I found beetroot very good, apparently the juice is good for the throat. Had lots of napping and rest. At the same time I have been out for a couple of times and driving, because I'm not going to give up on that!
The last week has made me realise how we can easily take things for granted and losing my voice taught me how to express myself in other ways. We learn to adapt very quickly with a disability. It's survival and we adapt.

[Darksky]

Good to hear you’re on the mend

Its been funny old thing….a throat virus maybe?
Tell Mr.C I’m thinking of him……his days are numbered