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Thread: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

  1. #501
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    509

    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Hello Carnation

    I am going through your thread and you sound positive, I and the kids have had intensive grief counseling and plodding along xx

  2. #502
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    6,999

    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Is it natural to be so excited that you are back?
    Yes, trying the positive road to recovery and seemed to have landed myself with a permanent online diary, which hopefully might help others too.
    It may take you some time to get through it.
    I have thought of you often, not in a creepy way, but you had been through hell and back too much!!!!
    It's comforting to know that you are doing OK my friend. x

  3. #503
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    6,999

    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    I'm having problems with my Internet.
    I have periods that run in to hours where I get the snarls dinosaur appear on my screen saying - 'no Internet connection'. I've checked the connection dozens of times, pulled the plug out for long periods of time, walked around the house with arms stretched high hoping for an eureka moment where I get connected to the point of just wanting to flop on the bed from aching arms.
    Anyway, if I am absent from posting, the reason is either I can't get connected or I have given up trying.
    Definitely not a good scenario for an anxiety sufferer either.
    So, today I was gardening and managed to cut my finger with the secateurs instead of the plant. I know, should have had gloves on, but only took them off for a minute because I couldn't get to the stalk.
    Amazingly, I managed to stay calm and walked very calm to the bathroom, cleaned the wound with everything I could find in the cabinet, then opened the packet that contained the plaster with one hand. Without being too explicit, it was a deep wound.
    There should be a health warning with gardening and next time the hidden stalk can stay where it is.
    Had a really busy week, out ever day as usual, coping pretty well, but yesterday on the way home in the car with o/H driving, it suddenly dawned on me that I could be like this for the rest of my life.
    Even though it may appear I can function, inside I am still fearful and anxious.
    My partner asked me what exactly it was I was frightened of? I replied, "Everything!" He just didn't get it and couldn't understand the feeling.
    I got a bit tearful and just ended the conversation with, "I just want to be able to not have to worry about everything I do and not to feel scared".
    I have heard of people overcoming their anxieties and actually living a more fulfilled life than they had before and it is that, that keeps me going and keeps me positive. That's all you can do. Keep positive and keep trying. Just like the connection with the Internet.

  4. #504
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    6,999

    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Have you ever been watching the TV and not had a clue what was happening? You've been too focused on how you feel, the voice in the head pouring fear in to your brain. You feel yourself writhing and you switch channels looking for something to take your mind off the feeling of panic and nothing seems to work. You fidget, become more anxious, then start obsessing about the thoughts that this maybe the end and for absolutely no valid reason, just because you can't relax and focus on what you are doing.
    You have two choices. Sit it out and eventually it will pass or get up and do something completely different. Either will work, but when this happens, you have to tell yourself that it is just uncomfortable and not life threatening.
    One of the hardest things to do is to keep calm.
    Your inner self wants to scream, shout, cry. And it's OK to do that, but in time you will find a way to turn to yourself and say, "I've got this in hand".
    I have felt and been in this position so many times, but it occurs less and less now.
    I now make a point of challenging myself, like I did today.
    There is a woman that works in a shop that always tells me I look ill and asks me if I am OK. Not a good vibe for someone with anxiety and basically not a nice thing to say to someone. So, I avoid this shop if I see that she is in. But today I confronted my fear and went in, waited for the usual comment and nothing. And after a while I realised she is like this with other people as well. She happened to be talking about a colleague and doing the exact same thing, which got me thinking that I took it personally which affected me and my anxiety, not realising she gets off on trying to ill people all the time.
    So sometimes situations might not be what they seem.

  5. #505
    Join Date
    May 2014
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    6,999

    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    What a beautiful day today.
    The sun was shining, but not too much. The wind kept away and a beautiful blue sky that shone down on the sea causing a reflection like crystals floating on the waves. People were happy and making the most of a sub tropic day in October.
    I went for a stroll with my o/H, despite my brain telling I couldn't. I walked nearly 2 miles and stopped half way to have a cup of tea and the most gorgeous chocolate and banana cake.
    I met some lovely people, some were on a late holiday, others were familiar to me as locals.
    I finished the day with tending the garden at the Care Home. So a productive and successful day for me.
    Sometimes you have to admit a good day and soak it up for all its worth.
    You can spend too much attention worrying about whether you can walk, talk, see properly and not forgetting the hot flushes.
    When I am out and about, it only takes seeing someone in a wheelchair or a little old lady with her back bent over scurrying around to give me the strength and courage I need.
    I have to accept that we get the odd pain even without anxiety and the odd illness, which is not Anxiety related and that is all part of normal life.
    There is a 93 year old at the Care home that amazes me.
    She had a chest infection last week, but she was still out soaking up the rays of the sun and busying herself looking after her colleagues at the home. Maybe that is why she is 93. Because she gets on with things and doesn't obsess over herself.
    So I am in the process of organising a small party at the weekend. This is a major thing for me and I am not sure how it is going to pan out.
    I chose the afternoon for tea and cake, but I know that some of them like the odd glass of vino.
    I invited 8 people, which has turned in to 12!!!
    I know I could cancel and that is at the back of my mind, but I don't really want to.
    I want to test myself and I am organising safety nets incase I have a wobbly.
    My o/H is helping me and if I have a moment, we have a code where I can disappear until I compose myself.
    I take this as being very brave of me or possibly stupid.
    But I really do need to know whether I can cope or more importantly, pull it off.
    Last edited by Carnation; 22-10-18 at 01:07.

  6. #506
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    377

    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    What a great challenge to set yourself. You can do it! xxx

  7. #507
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    6,999

    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Thank you 23fish. I hope so.
    Although I have been carrying a stomping headache around with me all day, but it might not be related.
    I'm doing my usual pre-panicking and found myself over buying packets of tea and toilet rolls.
    I'm reading a book at the moment about 'Everything you have always wanted to know about your body'. Not sure if it is a good idea or not, but I am learning how the body reacts in the way of pain and illness and the reasons behind it all.
    My left side twitchy eye is definitely connected to the nervous system, so should I be happy with that or not.
    But if I can understand more why I feel certain things, then my thinking is, I can cope with it more rationally and that has to be a good thing.
    Last edited by Carnation; 23-10-18 at 01:09.

  8. #508
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    6,999

    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    So today my left side gland is up and I have a sorethroat. My immediate thought was the stress of this party I am organising, but it is more likely to be over flossing my teeth from the day before. Although I follow my dentist's instructions to the tee, I think you can overdo things and you sometimes just need to let your body be.
    Anyway, I'm not cancelling. I'm so determined to get through this and if I have to sit in a corner not feeling well, then so be it. At least I will have an excuse for being unsociable.
    I have done so much preparation for this day.
    Cleaned the bathroom from top to bottom, rearranged the furniture, chosen some music and planned out the food. For some strange reason I also tidied up the garage. And that's with a swollen gland.
    Feet up tonight taking it easy.
    Getting back to this new book....
    I'm a terrible reader, because I have to skim the pages before I read it properly, but the gist if it seems to be about the chakras again.
    Before I mock it, some of the reading makes sense and the Doctors that wrote this know their stuff as far as how organs work or don't work. And if something isn't working properly, it is because the body is out of line and that's where this chakra comes in to play.
    For example, throat problems can be caused from holding back your feelings and keeping stuff bottled up inside. I suppose that makes sense. The best thing is to get your feelings out and if you can't do it person to person, then put it on paper.
    So, as from today, I am saying what I think and think I've upset my partner half a dozen times already, but that's OK for me, because it might cure my sore throat.

  9. #509
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    6,999

    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    My gland has gone right down today.
    I got an amazing 9 hours sleep last night!!!!
    You can't beat a bit of sleep for repairing the body.

  10. #510
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    6,999

    Re: Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

    Out tonight at my local pub for a meal with a couple of neighbours. I'd rather crash out on the sofa, but will drag myself there. At least I won't have to cook and they do have apple and blackberry crumble, so that's enough to get me there.
    Just been shopping for food, although no one said anything to me, I didn't feel 100%. That's in ill terms, not Anxiety terms.
    You've got to keep going, while taking care of yourself.

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