Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[Darksky]

Stop making me laugh Carnation. I just can't do it

[Carnation]

Life is not being very kind to me.
I'm still obsessing about my eye, even though the blood has 95% gone in less than a week.
But I am getting sharp pain over the eye brow, which sets my mind off thinking it has something more than a stab with a mascara wand. I may have aggregated a problem that could be more serious.
However, I get pain over the eyes and around the eyes from my sinus issues and today had pain in the top of the nose and previous to that, pain in the face, the ear and head.
That doesn't include the anxiety pain that I get in the rest of the body.
As a test, I did some gardening today and was bending and stretching for at least an hour and didn't seem to have any problems apart from a bout of sneezes and sharp eye pain.
But when I walk around the house I feel so lightheaded and fuzzy eyed, I can't tell whether it is anxiety or something more serious.
It is obvious to me that my health anxiety has spiralled out of control and lots of nasty thoughts enter my head.
I even did some exercising today including press-ups and felt fine, but the walking us so horrendous I just don't want to do any walking because it is feeding my brain with horrendous thoughts.
I also keep checking in the mirror looking at my eye and Mr C tells me off because he says I am making things worse.
I hate being negative when I feel my purpose is to encourage people, but I'm failing miserably today. :(

[Buster70]

I did laugh at your catalog of calamity, I injure myself most days but I wouldn't say I'm accident prone more that I have a complete disregard for my own safety, my partner and granddaughter are both very accident prone .
So to cheer you up my fail of the day was walking through the woods this morning with the dogs , it was cold and raining so I had my coat on and hood up , as I came down a hill a branch stuck in my hood , my legs and body carried on walking while my head stopped dead , the branch snagged in my hood and I was stuck trying to reach up and behind me to free myself , I must have looked a right tit but luckily no one was around to see it except the dogs and the trees , as usual they are keeping quiet

[Carnation]

Thanks Buster, I got a picture of that.
I often get my sleeve caught in the door handle, normally in public places. It pulls me back with a hard jolt.
I just don't look where I am going half the time.
When I was a young I was obsessed with walking backwards, you can imagine how many lampposts I walked into.
Hope you are bearing up under all the stress and worry Buster. x

[Darksky]

Well last night, my other half was off to the downstairs loo and went flying in a huge puddle of water. He's seriously bruised his arm and cut it.
He came back saying we had a massive leak from the shower (son was upstairs having one at the time). Ceiling was dry, wall was dry though.
Anyway son came down and said it wasn't the shower leaking, it was in fact a huge puddle of dog pee!
Fair play to the dog, she's old and the back door was shut.
So he's running round with a soaking wet ar@e, saying are you sure it's dog pee...smell it and make sure. Errr no, I'll give that a miss ta.
Did make us laugh, which I can't really do at the mo.

[Carnation]

Oh Darksky, what are we all like?

---------- Post added at 19:07 ---------- Previous post was at 17:23 ----------

I'm off to the Opticians tomorrow to get my eye checked out. Nervous as hell, but gotta be done to quieten my mind. Still lightheaded, but a little improvement than the last few days. I even managed a power walk of 500 steps. Doesn't make sense to me, I struggle to walk from room to room, but I can power walk around the garden going in circles.
Had to get a food shop in and was not looking forward to it. I seem to have lost the ability to look people in the eye and find I walk around with my head hanging low.
My confidence has completely gone, but still managing to miraculously arrange a funeral.
Mr C's mum's passing has hit me more than I realised.
I suppose being her carer as well, it will affect me a little more. She loved colour and humour, so not a grim affair on the day, I hope.
Strange, because we never got on at all in the beginning, but the last couple of years changed and sometimes we both used to gang up on Mr C to get our own way, which normally would be taking us to have tea and cake or a 99' flake at the seaside.
Mr C is a little better and talking more, so pleased about that.
So, hoping my dizziness is down to anxiety and all the stress and worry I have been under, that's bad enough, but at least I know where I am with that.
Found another tip for panic moments. If you are lucky to be near a cold tap, splash very cold water over your face or a cold flannel. Apparently it confuses the brain and takes it out of fight or flight mode.

[Buster70]

We have a banister on the stairs that snags on clothes , you only realise about three steps down when it stops you dead , these things are sent to test us and test our ability to swear , your lamp post story reminds me of a lamps post fail donkeys years ago , I was walking between pubs with a mate and he was counting how much money he had left , his eyes were down then DONG!!!! He walked into a post ( I'm laughing as I write this ) the metal post actually rang , I laughed so much it hurt he just didn't know what had hit him .
Today I injured my leg pulling a Dyson out of a packed shed .
Take my eyes with you carnation they badly need checking Ive never had an eye test and they are getting worse , I bet you can't leave that eye alone , I'd be touching it and looking in the mirror constantly, tie your hands up and it will probably get better sooner .
My mum and partner used to hate each other but things mellowed with age , I think it's a mother in law thing , hope you get a good bright calm day for the funeral .

[fishman65]

Carnation, your confidence will be taking a battering but that's because you've suffered a bereavement. Grief affects us in many ways and going round a supermarket with strangers laughing and chatting etc, that's going to be too much for us at such a time as you are going through. Plus the anxiety monkey that's permanently on our backs, it's a double whammy. And yet as you say, you've still arranged a funeral. That's a huge achievement, you are much stronger than you know

[Darksky]

I've heard that cold water thing before. Worse than a cold splash, a freezing cold shower in actual fact. To combat that early morning anx that plagues us.
I have never had the courage to do it though. I like the water hot enough to peel skin off
However I can imagine it working. Who's going to be brave enough to try?

[Carnation]

Buster! He might try the cold shower thing.
But I don't want to be responsible for him getting pneumonia. I'll stick to the cold flannel Darksky.

Thanks for the vote of confidence fishman.
Although I hide my disabilities well.

Opticians went well today and was not concerned about the red eye which has completely disappeared now.
Better than that, he was happy with the tests they do for abnormalities and said everything was perfect.
Shame I can't say the same for my brain, but hey, if one bit of your body is perfect there is hope.
Still lightheaded, but better. Much better.
I've started on the decaf tea. It's not like your normal cuppa of char, but if it helps, I'll take it.
I'm mixing in between the good stuff at the moment.
And chamomile tea is back on the menu again. I've gotta tone down that adrenalin.
Missed my power walking today due to the Opticians appointment and my exercise regime went for a burden, but went to the big town and managed to survive it.

Mr C was stressed today, but managed to calm him down with some New York cheese cake drizzled with raspberries.