Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[Darksky]

Well I suppose it's therapy of a sort. Keeps us busy.

i went out this afternoon, needed some paint....it's all I've been doing for the last week. We had to rip out all our skirting boards too. The mess is driving me insane, however at least I wouldn't be able to invite friends to stay

[Carnation]

I haven't got an exact day yet for this visitor staying, which sort of makes it worse. Being prepared and knowing are just two things I have to know.
It's sometime in March and I'm already wondering what I need to get in for her breakfast and whether I need to buy in extra towels. I don't want her to leave thinking we have crabby towels. Not that we have crabby towels. See, this is the sort of thing I get anxious about. The silly little things in life like running out of milk and toilet rolls.
Your project sounds a long one Darksky, I don't envy you on that one.
I am enjoying seeing the new growth of plants in the garden. I counted ten daffs yesterday, an array of snowdrops and crocuses and the first sighting of the bluebells. The squirrels seem to have stolen most of the tulip bulbs and I found the residence their burial site the other day. I think the birds will be nesting early this year and we might actually get a decent spring, my favourite season.
I'm still struggling with this lightheaded feeling and misty vision. It's weird because I can have it for hours then it suddenly goes. I test myself with my balance and twisting and turning and I don't topple or anything, it's more like a feeling rather than a medical symptom, but it's enough to make me nervous all day long.
My sinuses are giving me havoc too. I'm nicking eucalyptus leaves and stuffing them up my nose in hope that something good will happen. It's ok, it's my tree, I planted it and I ask the tree nicely if I can take her leaves.
So all in all, I'm dizzy one way or another. :(
On a good note, I am sleeping much better lately. 7-8 hours all the way through.
It could be down to the soothing sounds of wellbeing music that I play before I go to sleep, staying off my phone when I am in bed or going to bed a bit earlier. Whatever it is, I am truly grateful for it.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I think that's the real you though, the part that just says "yes, no problem come and stay with me". It's the stupid inner chimp that starts chipping away at you from there.

It's going to be anticipatory anxiety here and once shes with you I bet you will enjoy it. Space invaders can be hard for many of us, I have my issues with it too, but once you settle in you realise it's the stupid anxiety brain seeping it's poison in at any opportunity. It's fighting against you because you are doing something healthy that will help eliminate it's existence. If you've ever watched much Red Dwarf they seem to include this type of thing in quite a few storylines (Confidence & Paranoia, Psi Moon, and anything talking about Rimmer really ).

Do you stuff those leaves up while you are still in the garden?

The best thing to do with your friend is talk about it. She will most likely feel she needs to bring stuff and you think you need to provide it but won't she have things like her own towels? So, perhaps she will have some boxed to-hand stuff to travel around with her?

[DustingMyselfOff]

Just popping in to express how much I appreciate Carnation and everyone sharing all the personal details of their struggles and their lives with anxiety. It is so comforting to be reading threads and realize "Yes, that's me!" and "Oh my, even though I always feel like the strange one or the only one with these issues, there ARE others out there who totally understand and have this, too!" I'm sorry that we all deal with it, but glad for the place to feel less alone and less like an oddball.

I totally relate with all the physical symptoms Carnation shares, and it's always something.... very rarely do I have a symptom-free day, and if I do, I start looking for one! Oh, and feeling anxious about your own child stopping by? Hell yes! I thought I was the only one with that one! House guest? Hell, I can't even handle a visitor stopping by for a cup of coffee without pacing and fidgeting and trying to think of a way to get them to leave! I have always tried to fight these things so that I can become more "normal" but now, in my advanced age and years of experience, I'm trying to learn to accept that this is me, and it's not going to change much, and I need to just "accept" that and not try so hard to change who and what I am.

Again, thanks for all being here and sharing. I'm betting regardless of how odd we think our symptom or feeling is, someone else here knows exactly what we're talking about.
Sue

[Carnation]

What a lovely post DustingMyselfOff

[DustingMyselfOff]

What a lovely post DustingMyselfOff

Thanks, Carnation. I have found that people who struggle with anxiety tend to be very nice, caring, compassionate people.
Sue

[Carnation]

I think that too.

Well, today was an interesting day.
I spent most of the morning on the new forum feedback/comments thread.
Let's say I didn't hold back on my comments which have been festering inside since the site format changed.
Since having anxiety and growing older, I find that keeping stuff inside ourselves is bad.
Get it out!
So many years of keeping quiet, suffering in silence, agreeing to things that you don't feel comfortable, saying yes when you want to say no. Not good!
As a child I was shy, had little to say and would daydream forming a vivid imagination.
Unfortunately I grew up with low self esteem and unable to voice my opinions.
This carried through my work life and relationships and to some people would be mistaken as unsociable.
It wasn't until I got anxiety and saw a therapist that everything came out and I was encouraged to express my feelings and actually tell people what I thought and wanted.
This included my partner.
I'm not suggesting that we go around cursing and upsetting everyone, but I know when I keep something in that bothers me, it haunts me and sits in the core of my stomach festering away.
And today, no lightheadedness. Completely gone.

[DustingMyselfOff]

Congrats on the lack of lightheadedness - what a great (and unfamiliar feeling), right? Here's hoping for many, many more for you! What I'm working on personally is trying to not panic when I feel a wave of dizziness or being lightheaded. Because, as we know, that anxiety and tensing up makes it worse, prolongs it, and has us obsessing about it. So I'm trying to train myself to say "so what?!?" each time I feel a small wave of it, and keep moving with what I'm doing without obsessing over why it happened, what I could do to prevent it, etc. I think if I stop fearing it, it will happen less.

I, too, have found that as I age, the filter on my mouth has disappeared. I grew up in a dysfunctional family where I felt like nothing but a burden on my family so I spent all of my childhood trying to be invisible and not cause any problems. I never want attention on myself and have been an introvert all my life. If I have to be around others for a while, it has to be a short period of time and then I need my alone time to recharge my batteries.

Good for you for venting.... it's healthy!
Sue

[Carnation]

I know that burden feeling Sue, but in strange way I think it steads you in your adult life. It makes you want more out of your life as you grow up, to not be in that position again and be empathetic towards others.

Trying not to panic when you feel dizzy/lightheaded /blurry eyed is pretty hard to do, but not impossible.
As you say, pushing through and saying "so what" is a good basis to start, but you need a bit more than that because you are still carrying the symptom.
Although our brains do a wonderful job of telling us how to walk, talk and move about as well as thousands of other things. The brain acts as a computer and stores regular actions so remember what to do automatically.
So, if you go in the kitchen and feel lightheaded and nervous on a regular basis, that becomes an automatic feeling. Somehow you have to change the brain's perception of that fear.
For instance, we go to the kitchen to mainly cook and make drinks.
Why not try going to the kitchen to do something completely different? If you have a radio, maybe go in to the kitchen to listen to radio, sing, even dance a bit.
Also changing your routine around, especially in the morning. Adding an extra thing in to your routine.
Another member once asked me how to could get over not feeling sick when she brushed her teeth in the morning. Apparently it was the first thing she did when she got up. I suggested she made it the last thing after washing, dressing, breakfast and so on. So simple and sometimes better.
I also have a method when I try to do something that makes me nervous and panicky.
Say I go to make the dinner and I'm shaking or lightheaded. I then stop what I am doing and do something completely different and then go back to it.
Always better the second time or third. Same with shops, too unbearable, come out, breathe in some air, go back in again.
It's just as important to not push yourself as it is to fight it.
And sometimes you get a completely symptom free day as I did yesterday.
Then, you have to be careful not to overdo it, when you suddenly feel like a teenager again.

[Carnation]

Terry, if the leaves work, I'll wear them like jewellery