Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[23fish]

How are you getting on with the new website, Carnation? I've been thinking of you lately as I keep trying to use it on my tablet and can't seem to find active topics since last visit, which is where I always start. The tablet is new, too, and the combination of newness is driving me to distraction! Back to the old laptop I think.
I'm a little envious that you can create artwork that people want to buy. I'd love to be able to create something without copying a photo. I know what you mean about hit helping you to avoid eye contact. I take my knitting with me when I visit friends - if I don't feel like joining in a conversation I can pretend I'm concentrating really hard!
Well done for going in to see your neighbour. She was probably far too busy worrying about her dizziness to notice how you were feeling. I used to think people could tell what was going on in my head but now I know they rarely notice if I'm acting a bit odd. I blame everything on the menopause and that seems to be accepted as a cause of lots of things.
Take care xx

[Carnation]

I was in the middle of writing a post last night when it was interrupted by a row, (quite rare), with Mr C, so my post got abolished. :(
What I was going to say about 'pushing yourself' was just my personal opinion through my experiences.
There are different situations where we have to cope.
But I am a great believer in wanting to do something being the key to being successful.
There's the things we might have to do like funerals, weddings, visiting family, doctor's appointments that we have to master up extra strength to do.
Then there's the daily /weekly stuff that we have to do that we have control over like eating, shopping, washing, dressing and so on.
We can choose when, where and how we do these things and we each find a way that is easier for us.
Then there's the other stuff like invitations to neighbours /friends /parties /events/visitors.
These are things you can decline if you find too much and look for excuses.
So for me, 'pushing through' I would use for the important stuff, ignore the stuff you really don't want to do and try to make your daily/weekly routine as easy as possible.

Hi 23fish,
Yes,the new format has been somewhat challenging, surreal in a way taking into consideration the nature of the site. A lot of people don't like change including myself. And if you have a routine and then something takes you a little longer to do, it upsets the apple cart.
We just have to use some of that 'pushing through' technique.
Ah, yes, the menopause, what an unwanted gift that is.
I sometimes find it hard to differentiate menopause and anxiety as the symptoms are so similar. It's like a double dose! but I've not yet rushed out to buy a sports car, hook up with someone half my age and dye my hair black.
It's nice to know you are still around 23fish,not because of anxiety, but I almost see you as family now.

Buster, isn't strange how we think drinking water will cure our chest pain /thinking heart attack situation?
I don't know how many times I have heard that if you were having a heart attack you would know it! There would be no walking to the car, grabbing a bottle of water and then carrying on. We have to try and remember that for the next time our thoughts are out of control.
At the moment I am more concerned about my sinuses that are trying to choke me every time I lay down.

As I awake for another day I can't help thinking to myself, "I'm alive today, I have life and I need to use it. Always surprised by that as my body feels much older than my mind. I'm always grateful that I have the health to get around and fight that blasted anxiety.
There's a saying," God only gives you stuff that you can handle", but it sure is a hard one to fight, but fight it, I will.

[KK77]

e! but I've not yet rushed out to buy a sports car, hook up with someone half my age and dye my hair black.

Don't be preposterous, Mrs C! We have our NMP street cred to consider - and we're British, God-dammit!

Hoping all is well at Carn Manor

[Carnation]

Yes, I should have added 'YET' to the end of that sentence KK.

[Carnation]

Oops, I did, I stuck in the middle.
That's exactly why I don't do mornings

[Carnation]

I have been reminiscing....
It's been 5 long years since I was diagnosed with anxiety, PTSD and depression. (although I feel I may have been this way for most of my life).
And during the last five years, I have lost both my parents, the family home, my career, my car, most of my friends and my social life.
I've seen 4 therapists, 2 psychologists and 4 GPs.
Tried Yoga, Meditation, Tapping and Mindfulness.
I prayed for the first time in my life.
I have hundreds of panic attacks, symptoms, sleepless nights, and cried myself in to a stupa.
I turned to many books for guidance and help.
And many questions on this forum for reassurance.
I've run out of many shops, froze in many streets and at times been a prisoner in my own home.
I've had days of nothingness, weeks of letting myself go and months of despair.
But!!!!! I'm still standing.
I've coped with organising 3 funerals and selling a house.
I cared for both of my parents and my Partner's mum.
I organised and moved myself twice!
I got back in to a car after suffering PTSD after a car crash.
I took up playing the piano and drawing and achieved more in the last five years than I did all my life.
I see life differently and appreciate a beautiful day.
I watch nature at work and stargaze at night.
I take a smile from a stranger and appreciate a hand of help.
I appreciate my general health and empathise with those in pain.
I have gained strength and resilience and grow stronger as time passes.
I have more of an understanding of how the body and mind works.
And as time passes I learn to cope and find different ways of coping.
So that's about it, minus a bit here and there.
Thanks for listening

[Senior Moment]

Hi Carnation. Loved reading your latest post. You are truly an inspiration and I'm sure your posts are continuing to be a great help to those of us who are travelling down the long winding road of anxiety disorders. It sure can be a very lonely road sometimes, so to know others have survived is very comforting. Take care SM x

[Phar]

I have been reminiscing....
It's been 5 long years since I was diagnosed with anxiety, PTSD and depression. (although I feel I may have been this way for most of my life).
And during the last five years, I have lost both my parents, the family home, my career, my car, most of my friends and my social life.
I've seen 4 therapists, 2 psychologists and 4 GPs.
Tried Yoga, Meditation, Tapping and Mindfulness.
I prayed for the first time in my life.
I have hundreds of panic attacks, symptoms, sleepless nights, and cried myself in to a stupa.
I turned to many books for guidance and help.
And many questions on this forum for reassurance.
I've run out of many shops, froze in many streets and at times been a prisoner in my own home.
I've had days of nothingness, weeks of letting myself go and months of despair.
But!!!!! I'm still standing.
I've coped with organising 3 funerals and selling a house.
I cared for both of my parents and my Partner's mum.
I organised and moved myself twice!
I got back in to a car after suffering PTSD after a car crash.
I took up playing the piano and drawing and achieved more in the last five years than I did all my life.
I see life differently and appreciate a beautiful day.
I watch nature at work and stargaze at night.
I take a smile from a stranger and appreciate a hand of help.
I appreciate my general health and empathise with those in pain.
I have gained strength and resilience and grow stronger as time passes.
I have more of an understanding of how the body and mind works.
And as time passes I learn to cope and find different ways of coping.
So that's about it, minus a bit here and there.
Thanks for listening

Thanks an inspiration post

Sent from my HUAWEI CAN-L01 using Tapatalk

[DustingMyselfOff]

Definitely inspiring, and I believe those of us who suffer with this disability (and it can be and IS disabling at times) are to be commended for continually mustering up the courage and strength to fight this and not let it defeat us.

That being said, however, I sometimes (like today) get really sick and tired of having to fight so hard for what shouldn't be so d@mned hard! I have all the meds, I know all the relaxation techniques, I've read all the books, I've talked to all the therapists, and yet anxiety still rears it's ugly head and makes life miserable sometimes. When I'm on the pity pot (like now) it just seems so unfair. All the work we've done to overcome this beast, and yet it can still take hold and challenge us.

I leave for the west coast tomorrow to visit my grandchildren and I'm feeling physically ill. Of course, that's my ONE biggest fear whenever I have an upcoming trip or even a social event: that I will become ill and feel miserable while trying to appear like I'm having fun. Yes, you can be honest at times and just say you don't feel well, but you can't do it over and over, especially not to the same people. Am I really ill? I don't think so - I think it's all anxiety. I haven't really been able to sleep for the past two night so I'm exhausted, but I'm wired. My colitis is acting up, I'm hungry but don't feel like eating, I'm shaky, etc. You all know the drill.

I thought and hoped that since I stopped working about 10 days ago that I would be LESS stressed, anxious and tired as I prepared for these trips, but it seems to be worse, not better. That's really troubling, but I just realized that perhaps it's because I don't have the office stress to distract me and instead I can sit here dwelling and obsessing over how anxious I am and how badly I don't want to go?

Tempted, but I am NOT cancelling the trip. I may book less of them in the future, but I WILL go on this one. So maybe I need to try to train my brain to change my thoughts? Instead of sitting here focusing on how badly I don't want to go and how much I'm dreading it, can I trick myself by repeating that I DO want to go and I am NOT anxious? Does saying positive things really influence your feelings and thought process if you say it enough? Maybe I'll go find a guided meditation that focuses on being positive.

Sorry, just a rant, because I know people here understand. But it sucks.
Sue

[pb]

Love your post