Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[Carnation]

And so you should be proud Sue
Try applying that to everything else you do in your life.
And I know a lot of people associate the anxiety with getting older. Please don't. There are under 16s that suffer too. It's fear in its maximum overload. Something we all were born with to protect us from harm, but we still have the power to manage it.

Buster, your lack of sleep will not be helping you and I know you are aware of that. I know the feeling of lying there worrying and fearing the future, even the present.
Maybe if you got in to reading before bedtime it might help you. Even if it's a comic, especially a comic. You need that back to basics in life.

Generally, you've got to admit its pretty amazing how we can be so scared of doing something /being somewhere, even worry about it for weeks, even months and then we are there actually doing it.
No, we didn't collapse, we didn't die in the process and we push ourselves on a daily basis.
That's got to tell you something about our resilience.
The brain is over thinking, working from triggers / past experiences, only to warn you as a precaution and if we try to ignore it, it then throws in some symptoms to make you doubly sure you know what you are doing.
You'll often find me talking to myself and feeding myself with reassurance.
And always concentrate on the job in hand and not on you!

Take myself and driving.
Absolutely petrified due to a bad accident and numerous panic attacks while driving.
If someone told me to get in the car and drive to town on my own I'd go, "eh, I can't do that, too scary". But when my partner was ill, I did it. I took our cat to the vets and picked up the meds for my other half.
Yes, I'm doubly aware of other drivers stupidity and I look ahead for any possible bad drivers.
And over the 5 years since the bad episode, I have been absolutely fine, no worse than sitting watching TV.

I know it's not as plain talking as that because the feelings are so strong and we fear the symptoms sometimes more than fear itself. But if you take your time and take one step at a time, even take pauses to calm yourself, you can do almost anything you want.
You need to find the coping techniques that work for you, not too much otherwise you are in a permanent state of coping and not being.
Distraction helps, but not too much, otherwise distraction becomes another tool and you are not being again.
I like to replace distraction with a hobby or jib that needs doing.

Do you remember my next door neighbour who felt dizzy?
Well she still has it and everyday. She still goes out, on her own and is planning a trip to a faraway land.
I told her that I think she may have anxiety, but she insists she may have something more life threatening despite going to the Docs to have all the relevant checks. Hello Health Anxiety. It started after a very bad bout of flu which left her almost bedridden for 2 weeks. Hello brain has time to process our thoughts of fear and over obsess.
I tell her she is amazing - 76 years young.

I had a fair day yesterday. Managed a few chores, got out for a few hours and came back with fish and chips. (My night off).
Now my worry at the moment is moving.
Our landlord wants to sell and the thought of it all is quite daunting. I'm trying not to panic and the thoughts of the whole process fears me with dread, but I am trying to think of the positives to it all.
Maybe somewhere cheaper, maybe nearer a shop, nice neighbour, better view, anything that can fill my mind with positives.
The upheaval is major for me and I'm used to the format of the house and as I suffer from mild OCD, I know it will be a big job in hand for me and anxiety. But not impossible.
I think the worry most of the time is "will I die in the process?" just like what we were talking about before.
So I try to keep statistics as a reminder that everything will be ok and remind myself it is a "positive must".
We could do with a new start after my Partner's mum passed, there are memories here and we pay too much.
A friend of mine is moving here from 200 miles away and doing it all on her own. I have a partner, so if she can do it, so can I.

[Darksky]

Hi all, not been on lately. Staff shortages mean I'm working more....urgh. That and still fighting with the new skirting boards is seriously interfering with my online life

Sue, I seriously hold my thumbs up to you. I could never, ever have done that on my own. Hope you're having a great time. But you're right, there is no place like our own homes.

Buster, have you tried Kalms Night. I have periods of insomnia and a few nights of these and it seems to kick start my sleeping again. Won't hurt you, even if they do nothing but I find they help me. Or like Carnation says, reading is brilliant to drop off to sleep with. Something lightweight, no Steven King maybe something so boring you bore yourself to sleep. It's a routine that my brain responds to...book comes out and my brain seems to realise that's the key to fall asleep. Sometimes after a couple of paragraphs I'm away. It's all worth a try.

moving is a nightmare. As you know this year, we will be doing same. It's change in a mammoth sense. Nothing is bigger for me. My own safe place is being whipped away. I must look for the positives as you say Mrs.C. Out of the sticks, into a town, busy with people and life, closer to my mother...need to make a mental list. But even so, I'm not looking forward to it at all.
My other half has retired now, a week ago. That's a change too isn't it. He's here all the time, which is fine but the routines are all wrong, so I'm getting my head round that. Sometimes I feel such a stuck in mud old codger. It's a new chapter, a brand new beginning. Rinse and repeat until we believe it

[DustingMyselfOff]

I'm starting to think Gabapentin might be my magic bullet, at least for things like this. I'm only on a tiny dose (100 mg. three times a day) but it seems to keep things stable and prevents my hyper highs and crashing lows. Instead, it's a more steady rate of energy and adrenaline. When I'm home again I will drop down to two a day, but I'm surprising well on my trip and am GOING to stay that way!
Sue

[Carnation]

Hi Darksky,
I was wondering what happened to you.
I tend to worry when a regular poster appears to vanish in to thin air. So, I'm relieved to hear you are ok. I

I've found that members that improve or even become cured unfortunately leave. Which is a shame because we could do with their input on this forum. :(

Yes, moving can be one of the most stressful events you can go through. Can you believe I am already clearing out the kitchen cupboards and we haven't even found anywhere yet. I just have to be organised and ready.
Like you say Darksky, our safe place disrupted and changed. Let's hope it is for the better.

[Darksky]

Hi Darksky,
I was wondering what happened to you.
I tend to worry when a regular poster appears to vanish in to thin air. So, I'm relieved to hear you are ok. I

I've found that members that improve or even become cured unfortunately leave. Which is a shame because we could do with their input on this forum. :(

Yes, moving can be one of the most stressful events you can go through. Can you believe I am already clearing out the kitchen cupboards and we haven't even found anywhere yet. I just have to be organised and ready.
Like you say Darksky, our safe place disrupted and changed. Let's hope it is for the better.

Well there's no chance of me disappearing if improvement or cure is the criteria. I've had this for 40 years so I reckon it's me for good. Keep on keeping on...that's me. But I do agree I wish they wouldn't disappear when better. The rest of us want hints and tips and hope that if one person can do it, maybe we can.

im rushed off my feet at the moment. Have far too much work to do, which again is a source of stress plus getting this place ready. I wish we'd got a carpenter to do the skirting boards. But OH does like to 'have a go '

ive done my cupboards as well lol. Thrown a load of rubbish out from them. Why oh why, do we buy electric grills, bread makers etc? We never use the damn things after the first flush of enthusiasm wears off. And glasses! dear Lord there just isn't enough gin in the world to use all the glasses we had! Still I think a good clear out is good for the soul. We carry too much junk around with us, physically and mentally. The charity shops will be doing a booming trade from me.

im still waiting for a nice spring day to scatter Ginge under his favourite forsythia bush. Reckon I'll wait til Easter now. it's just so cold and rainy now, it just doesn't seem right somehow. That sounds a little mad but daft or not it's how I feel. He used to lie in the sun so I want a string of sunny days to scatter him so he'll be warm. Hells bells...now that does sound mad!

[Darksky]

Sorry, I meant to ask...how's Mr.C now?

[Carnation]

Wow Darksky 40 years!
Maybe you can tell me a thing or two?

Other halves do like ti 'have a go', don't they.
Unfortunately mine is not very good at it, so I have a kitchen cupboard door that sits on a slant and I have to open the opposite door to get that one open.
The metal bit that lies underneath the car door fell off and he used this strange glue and it now looks like the remains of volcanic vulva. (think I got the right word there).

Spent today doing more clearing like you Darksky, why on earth do we buy these gadgets and things we never use?
A cupcake stand that holds 50! 6 gravy boats. About 60 glasses and 60 dinner plates. Seriously, who was I expecting? I don't even like one visitor. And don't get me started on the bed linen.

Just a thought about your Ginge. If it is a good forecast next week, you could do it on the full moon next Wednesday. That way it will be light at night making it feel more special.

Mr C is ok thanks. He has his moments. In fact it was me that got upset this week on my mum's two year anniversary. It doesn't get any easier, just more distant.

I've had a bit of lightheaded day today. :( I had a bad nights sleep which didn't help, but I didn't let it deter me from doing anything, mainly decluttering. Do you know Mr C has 76 pictures in one way or another. He keeps picking them up from charity shops and car boots. So they may well appear back in the car boot when we have a chance to do one. That will be a test and a half for me.
You know how I like a challenge.

[Darksky]

Volcanic vulva! I'm too scared to even google that!

Its been years since since I did a car boot. You have to get up so early and I'm not at my best in a mornings. It takes a couple of hours to feel ok.

i had to laugh at a cup cake stand. Just one word....why? We do buy such daft stuff don't we. I have an unused gravy boat. My gravy gets poured on the plates from a plastic jug always has done, so why have I got a boat? I did a count up today and OH has 52 shirts! 52!!!!! Now he's not working, I feel a thinning out coming on. Tell you what else I bought....a cross trainer. What a damn joke. Used it once, like most people do. That's off to eBay.

cant offer any tips I'm afraid. I just plod on. My sister has had it for 50 years. It's hereditary with us, it runs down one side of my family like poison. I have cousins that have the two ugly sisters, anxiety and depression together. They are still plodding on too. I truly believe we are some of the strongest people on the planet. We live with this, we čan find beauty in nature, we can laugh and love, hiding an often secret battle which every single day we win. We may drop exhausted into bed but we have not let it beat us. To me, that's a win.

[KK77]

and it now looks like the remains of volcanic vulva. (think I got the right word there).

Holy Poo!

[Carnation]

KK, I googled it first to make sure I had the right one, lol

52 shirts Darksky, oh my. All I can say is, don't iron them, we won't hear from you for days!!!!