Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[Darksky]

Yes you are probably right, although the situation is slightly different, in that she lives with my sister. We are a good car ride away now and I figured if nearer I could help more. I don't know, its all academic because we aren't ready yet.
Today I decided to cut some hedges, well...I had a go at the tall laurels and was swinging the trimmers head height and promptly cut through the electric cable. The trimmers went bang and sparks flew and I dropped them sharpish. Mr.D reckons I need to stick to painting.

i heard something on the radio today..if you are feeling really anxious and panicky....stand on one leg. Odd I know but beacuse it's hard to balance you have to use every ounce of concentration to stay upright.

[Carnation]

Sorry Darksky, I didn't realise that your sister lived there too. I can see where you are coming from now. x

Hedge trimmers should have a huge sticker on them saying something like this, 'BEWARE, LEAD WILL NOT MOVE OUT OF WAY WHEN USING'. My other half did that last year and was only using it for five minutes and muggins had to finish it off with a hand held pair of shears causing several unsightly blisters.

Yes, I often do the one legged stand, it does help the brain to accept that you are not going to faint/pass out as well as giving yourself a little longer when busting for the loo.

I overslept big time yesterday and I haven't done that for a long time. I obviously needed it and feel better for it.
Only thing is the chores you decided to do get crammed in to a short space of time, including meal times. And the rest you have is soon short lived with running around catching up. But it was worth it.
Anxiety was pretty stable yesterday. Thing is, when it is like that, you question why it is and wonder where it's gone to. And whether it's coming back!
I haven't done any more sorting out in the house for a few days and truth be known, I am tempted to shove it all in black bin liners and sort it out in our new abide, which doesn't exist yet.
But that's not my style.
I embarrassingly have to know how many teaspoons I have and is the washing up to date and do I need to keep 8 vases? Unfortunately Mr C falls in to the category of not wanting to get rid of anything and pulls a face when I ask him, "can I get rid of this?"
You can only do your best and we probably shouldn't buy all this stuff in the first place.

I also read that if you chew gum, it helps with anxiety. So every time I meet someone now chewing gum I think, "you got it!"

[Darksky]

I've not heard that...off to Wrigleys I go. Biggest gum chewer I saw was Alex Ferguson. He used to really go for it. Although Man Utd are certainly anx inducing

my son has twice cut through the hedge trimmer cable too. I think there should be warnings about idiots using them....no offence Mr.C

too wet wet outside today so I've been oiling the kitchen surfaces...seem to have survived that relatively unscathed

[Carnation]

It's been a few days since posting, so a quick catch up.
My anxiety has been up and down and recently the adrenalin has decided to make an appearance in the form of what feels like a tap running upwards in my legs up to my stomach. This is one of the symptoms that has always freaked me out because it feels so strange and the feeling is strong. It also tells me, "too much!" Too much of what exactly? Stress, worry, overdoing it, lack of sleep?
As my braun dissects the return of the adrenaline rushes, I start to eliminate the causes.
"No, sleep is good, much better lately".
"Not overdoing it, been far too lazy and don't have the energy anyway".
"Stress? Yes, bucketfuls!" "Worry? Eh, don't even go there".
So, it's obvious to me that the worry and stress of finding a new home and the upheaval that goes with it is the culprit.
Well it is in top 3 of the biggest stresses of all time.
So how do I deal with this? I can't not worry, because that comes naturally and I can't not stress because it IS stressful. But I can accept why and instead of freaking out about it, realise that this is a normal reaction to feeling this way. Ok, I have the adrenalin, some twitches and feel like I've run ten miles everyday, but if I try my best to pace myself, not do too much in the day, not be so hard on myself, understand that I'm a bit more sensitive that the normal person and try not to take everything on my shoulders and last but not least, try to stop worrying that everything is going to go wrong all the time and take everything in its stride.
That is a lot to remember, but it's not impossible.
I only said to Mr C yesterday that while we have this inconvenience and uprooting in our lives, we are not actually spending any time living in the now.
We've had this for months now and we search, look and discuss the many possible homes that could make our lives easier and better.
Well, I've taken a stand and gone for one that we saw a few weeks ago. It was on the small side, but that's not the end of the world and it doesn't have to be forever either.
But it is in a quiet but residential area, near to the town, walking distance to the Docs and Dentist, a pretty little garden that we can look after ourselves. Semi, with all rooms on the ground floor, with a single lady in her 60s living next door. Our bedroom has no disturbance either side, there's a garage to put all our junk in, we can stay as long as we want and after 3 visits there, my anxiety was pretty much stable inside. There. I've sold it too myself, even though it is a rental.
Sometimes you just have to way up the options and make a decision on what is practical at the time and not expect your picture book wish list you have in your head.
Not to say you can't have that, but for me and my baggage of anxiety, OCD and depression, they are the things that I have to accommodate and not the stuff we dream of which may not be practical anyway.
There's no rush to move, we are overlapping the properties, so we can leisurely take our time on our move.
But now, I have security in my mind instead of panic!
And I am grateful that was there for us and all we have to do is declutter, which is not a bad thing to do anyway.
So, if any of you are moving, (hello Darksky), try to think of what works for your wellbeing and peace of mind.

[Carnation]

Eh? Are we in winter again?
Had to wear 4 layers of clothing to go out yesterday and I was still cold!
The central heating has gone back on and the Cherry tree refuses to blossom. :(
Not only that, my sinus issues have made an unwelcome return which affects my sleep pattern which only recently became more settled.
I've noticed also that the darker days brings out the worst in my anxiety symptoms.
My brain is confused and thinks we have gone back in to winter again. I keep telling it that it's just a mirage but it won't listen to me.
Yesterday I went to help that friend move in to her new abode. (me and my big mouth again, can hardly organise myself.) Anyway, turned up with a tray of Lattes and found most of the jobs had already been done. (there is a God after all.) Just going to a strange place is in itself a major task for me.) Stayed for about an hour which was pretty hard as most of the time I was walking around the place in my socks on mainly shiny slippery tiles. (Oh, the things I get myself into.)
Popped in to town afterwards as well, even though I was carrying lightheadedness and blurry eye syndrome with me.
Why does it just come on like that? When I've had nearly a week of absent unwanted symptoms and then, whoosh, there they are again.
So last night forced myself to do some meditation and deep breathing exercises and si far today, I'm not to bad.
It's a great improvement from last night while sitting watching tv and feeling like I had things moving about inside my stomach, chest and thighs which goes under the description of adrenalin.
I may have had the adrenalin, but I certainly didn't have the energy.
Having a traditional lazy Sunday today. Funny, Sundays use to bore me, now they are a day I can hide from the world.

[DustingMyselfOff]

Yup, cold, raw and damp again in my neck of the woods. A few days ago I was going out in jeans and a t-shirt, now it's back to bundling up just to walk to the mailbox. And I know that creepy, crawly feeling that takes over parts of our body and even though it's not painful nor scary in itself, for some reason it's one of the anxiety symptoms that bother me the most. I, too, have tried to narrow down when and why they occur so I can reduce their re-occurences and I agree that it seems to be more a symptom of excess adrenaline than it is anxiety. I try to remind myself of that when it's happening and remind myself that adrenaline can come from being happy, busy, tired, ill, etc. so I should ignore it and wait for it to pass but, easier said than done.

Anyway, when that doesn't work, I remind myself of all the people in the world who are suffering with things much bigger than this, and try to remember how lucky I am. At least there are medicines that work for our problem, should we choose to take them. It's not an incurable, life-threatening disease, although at times it truly does feel like one!

Thanks for the reminder: I purchased some chamomile tea a week ago and forgot to try it. No time like the present, because I've been tossing and turning much too much in bed lately.

Stay well, my friends.
Sue

[Darksky]

Well that's great Carnation. At least the 'agony of doubt' has gone. I think Shakespeare said that and there's nowt so true.
Theres nothing worse than things being up in the air and where you are going to live is such a big thing. If you feel you can be at peace there, then that's all the better. It doesn't matter, if it's not exactly what you want, as long as you feel peace when you walk in and are surrounded by a good atmosphere. Happy for you

started on the deep clean here. I wish I liked housework...I wouldn't need a 'deep' clean now. I actually cleaned the oven!!! I know, I know..steady on tiger

Hows Mr.C? Is he feeling a bit more settled?

[Carnation]

Thanks Darksky. I see it this way. There's no point living in a castle if you are going to spend your life in a tower. besides, it's a rental so easily changed if doesn't suit.
You sound a bit like me. I did the oven a couple of weeks ago giving it the thorough clean and saying to myself, "you must wipe it down after every use and not just flop on the sofa after dinner". But do we do that? Of course we don't. Who fancies sticking their head and hands in an oven at the end of the day?
We are only renting, but treat it like our own place, as you should anyway.
The decluttering is going slowly, but I am starting to see a difference. I'm having to discard a few things without asking Mr C as he wants to keep everything!
Mr C is up and down at the moment. I think he needs a new project to get in to so it will distract him from too much thinking. He wants to go to church at Easter and I'm all for that if it will help him. He's also alway wanted to be a monk, so fingers crossed there.

Sue, good sleep can be so precious and we spend a lot of time wondering why we have disturbed sleep.
Even if our head flops on the pillow as soon as step into bed, the constant waking and tossing and turning tells us that we are not as peaceful as we should be.
I struggle with energy first thing in the morning and takes me a good hour to be ready to go. Even then, as if I need a good oiling and one of those duracell batteries. sluggish springs to mind.
Admittedly I don't go to bed until late, but when I go early, it's even worse. Just lying there with dozens of worries shooting through my brain like a never ending conveyor belt. Stupid stuff like....
"I must get the chicken out of the freezer for the weekend" "should I have my bath in the morning or evening?" "We are nearly out of black sacks" "This duvet cover needs changing" "that shop assistant was rude to me today, I won't go in there anymore." "I need to wash the kitchen floor in the morning, so maybe the bath will be better in the evening." "I should walk more, not getting enough exercise." "my throat feels a bit sore, hope I'm not coming down with something." "definitely looked a bit pale yesterday, yes definitely coming down with something." "Mr C is quiet, I hope he is OK." "what's that noise outside? Need to check the doors are locked." It goes on and on and on and on......

[Darksky]

Wow thats a lot of mental traffic. Do you read before sleep? I do and I don't get the mental conversations. I fill in my daily diary, trying not to make it a daily moan then I read. It occupies my mind until I fall asleep looking at the page. I wake up, realise I've been asleep and am tired so the lamp goes off and I go back again. Ive sort of trained by brain into the nightly routine. I think without a chapter of a book I would struggle to sleep.

spent the morning trying to fit a universal dog guard in the car. 10 minutes to fit apparantly....2 hours later it's too chilly outside today, even though the suns out, I'm froze.

[Carnation]

You are right Darksky.
I do read in bed, but when I'm exhausted, my eyes can't seem to focus on the words.
I also play music before sleeping, do some breathing exercises, muscle relaxation exercises, write things down so it empties my brain, have chamomile tea before going to bed, BUT! I wake up with my head rushing with thoughts that then affect me getting back to sleep.
I worry and worry too much!
Between that and Mr C's restless leg syndrome, I wake up with my brain aching and bruises on my legs from Mr C whacking me with his fidgety legs.
Anyway, its not the worst side of anxiety symptoms, but it does leave me listless all day.

Yes, isn't it strange how companies misjudge the timing on assembling a piece of apparatus.
Have you ever replaced a bulb in a car?
We had to practically take half the inners out of the boot before getting to the bulb area.
Oh, where have the days gone when some nice chap would do it for you?