"Absorbing the atmosphere of your enviroment" – anyone familiar with this?

[stella55]

Hi all,

I wanted to ask something that I think may be related to the DP/DR disorder. Ever since I was a kid, I noticed that when I go someplace, I sort of "absorb" the atmosphere of that specific place and "bring it home" with me, so to say. I mean that when I return home, my home feels slightly altered and I can still feel the particular atmosphere of the place I visited before. This then goes away after some time.
I used to have this all the time during my childhood. Now I rarely have it, or I may have it when I visit some new place. Home can also feel different depending from which path I took. Very weird!

Another thing is, I can get mental connections, which I call "atmospheres". For instance, I can look at a photo of an object and I can start sensing the environment (or "atmosphere") of where the object belongs. It's a bit abstract, so I can give an example: I see some colorful Christmas lights, and I imagine a lonely house in a field. There is lots of snow everywhere. The house looks old, but cozy. The house is dark, but in one window you can see some colorful Christmas lights glowing.
I don't mean that this is just me imagening something, I mean that I can actually feel the atmosphere the one photo or object radiates. Does that sound crazy?

Most of the time these "atmospheres" give me a positive feeling. But I can also make some very negative connections. For example, this weekend I saw an abandoned house in the city. The outside walls were full of graffiti. Immediately, it made me feel very uneasy. I started "sensing" junkies taking drugs and other bad things that may have happened in that house. All this made me very panicky and I wanted to get away from that house as fast as possible.
At other times, I can also see a photo or a painting and I will have feelings similar to the ones I had when I saw the house. For some reason, I mostly make connections with drugs, illness and despair (I mean mostly as in concerning the "negative" connections, as I still have the positive ones as well). It's almost as if I by looking at those photos/paintings/objects I was starting to remember something that had happened a long time ago, but never actually remember anything and instead get a general sense of what it felt like. Of course, I don't actually believe I am about to remember something, I'm just describing it like this to illustrate what I mean. I think it's just another malfunction of my over-active brain.

I thought I may have depression, hence the negative feelings, but I was diagnosed only with OCD, lots of anxiety and DP/DR. So I wanted to ask, does anyone ever get similar feelings? Could this be part of derealization?

[ana]

I personally think that you're just highly sensitive and receptive of the energies around you. In fact, when I was reading about the way you describe 'atmospheres', I couldn't help but be reminded of psychics. Perhaps looking into information on energy work and see if you can maybe learn how to become less affected by your environment.

[stella55]

Oh wow, I never thought of it that way. That is an interesting thought. Of course, I don't want to get carried away and start looking into it through an esoteric prism.
But your reply gave me an idea to read about increased sensitivity towards the environment, and I found out that I am indeed more sensitive than others (in fact, there is even a term for that - Highly Sensitive Person, or HSP). And that actually explained some other things that I noticed about myself. So I will try to find out more about that, and maybe I will stumble upon an answer to this problem.

I suppose these weird feelings could be caused by the mental issues that I'm having, combined with my increased sensitivity and also my artistic tendencies (I am very much into visual art, and as I have mentioned, most of the times I get these "atmosphere" feelings when looking at an artwork or an object).

I think you're right, I should learn how to become less affected by my environment, so it doesn't overwhelm me.
In fact, after starting this thread, I remembered some instances where I was getting strong "negative vibes" off of something, but in time, I became less and less sensitive towards it, and even became interested in some of them. For example, I used to be scared of a particular TV show as a teenager because I felt like it had a bad "atmosphere" that made me feel very uneasy, but in 5 years' time I noticed I don't feel about it that way anymore, I even felt curious, so I started watching it and it soon became one of my favourite TV shows. So maybe I should just try to desensitize myself.

[ana]

I'm glad you found my reply useful. It definitely sounds like you're highly sensitive, but I don't necessarily think you need to desensitise yourself, but rather to trust your gut without letting it upset you. I wouldn't know how to go about this though. lol

Perhaps you can use that more in your art, channel all the things you feel so often. I'm also highly sensitive, though not to the same things as you. I'm very perceptive of emotion and my own feelings are easily hurt. Quite often I wish I could feel less and be like the people who aren't easily affected by things, but those are the cards I've been dealt with hehe.