Fear of abandonement and losing my husband

[Greycylinder]

No matter how hard I try I live in terror of this happening. He left me once before (because I asked him to) and he came back but he's threatening to go again because I'm ill. Anxious and depressed. I don't know how to stop obsessing about it and I am on the edge of suicide.

[Buster70]

No no no no no , Ive said it before and I'll keep saying it suicide isn't the answer, I get that way a lot as well but like me you have to bloody hang in there until the storm passes and it will , finding somthing to occupy the part of your mind that is obsessing helps and a bit of exercise when you get low also helps ( I don't enjoy exercise it's just a necessary evil to keep me sane ish )
Take care

[Bigboyuk]

It really isn't the answer bloody hard at times its very stormy at times but you have to ride it out it does pass and any distractions from the storm that's rageing is very welcome wether its exercise or just simply stroll out some where, reading a book. music etc will help with out knowing all your posts Iam going to ask what help are getting for your MH problems currently? ATB

[Greycylinder]

Thank you both so much for replying.

I am seeing the mental health team every day (or when they bother to turn up) and at last this morning they agreed that 2 months on my current medication is long enough for it to have had some effect. It has affected me by making me worse and worse. They are apparently going to let me have diazepam to work through some kind of transition. I told them I'd take heroin or ECT if I thought it would work.

The Maytree Respite Centre in North London have agreed to admit me next week for a 4 night one off stay. I am praying they can help me but I have very little hope.

Until the past few days I've been sewing, reading, running a bit and doing Pilates but can't even do these now. Have not been able to see friends and just sit here and cry and howl. This is the most prolonged and tortuous depression and anxiety period I've ever had.

I pray for all of you and please pray for me too. Thank you

[Bigboyuk]

That is bad the MH team cant be bothered to turn up some days And the fact your current medication isn't helping should now mean a different approach I certainly wouldn't even think about taking heroin that's not going to help glad they are taking you in for 4 days use that time to get help and tell them everything and remember you can get better that I strongly believe, keep us updated on your progress ATB

[Greycylinder]

Thank you. Yes treatment is very hit and miss And the localteam just keep telling me to count my blessings😠 No idea why I hadn't thought of that!@@@@@!!!!