Feeling desperate- pancreatic cancer

[Carys]

Itching, very very dry cold weather, simples. I have it terribly all over my body, once its sub zero my skin flakes off and I itch and scratch.

[jojo2316]

Itching, very very dry cold weather, simples. I have it terribly all over my body, once its sub zero my skin flakes off and I itch and scratch.

Yes. Yes I should know that! Also have had the itching obsession before. Thinking about itching begets itching.

I asked my vet brother if I looked jaundiced this morning and he said:

“Gosh yes. I think it’s probably terminal”.
Which is usually what I get from my (highly medical) family

[pulisa]

I’m sorry to hear about your daughter Pulisa. Is she home full time? Do you have HA regarding yourself or your daughter? (Mine is totally wrapped up in motherhood- the desire to stay alive for those that need me)
Well done on sticking to your rules. Do you mind if I ask what they are?

---------- Post added at 10:36 ---------- Previous post was at 10:34 ----------

Oh I think you say what your rules are. Clinical need. In the fog of HA I find it so difficult to work out what clinical need is!

---------- Post added at 10:40 ---------- Previous post was at 10:36 ----------



Thank you so much Carys. I feel my anxiety subsiding a bit and it is thanks to you guys. I really appreciate it. My family get so fed up with my endless parade of cancers and so I TRY not to bother them with my “latest”. (High failure rate in that department!!)

I do think I am itching though. Jaundice? Or hyper awareness?? Aaaaa! I HATE this!!!
Thank you so much again for taking the time to reply

The thing is it's not up to you to work out "clinical need". Your GP has the skills and training do that.
Mind you, coming from a "medical" family it's not surprising that you have HA. I really feel for you-it can't be easy trying not to ask questions or trying to get reassurance from them. Your brother as a vet is probably the best qualified of all to make a human diagnosis though! All those years of training!

[jojo2316]

The thing is it's not up to you to work out "clinical need". Your GP has the skills and training do that.
Mind you, coming from a "medical" family it's not surprising that you have HA. I really feel for you-it can't be easy trying not to ask questions or trying to get reassurance from them. Your brother as a vet is probably the best qualified of all to make a human diagnosis though! All those years of training!

Yes indeed... I have vets and doctors in my immediate family. I think my head could be hanging off though and they’d just say “stop imagining things!”
But you are right. My GP is the one to judge. I will try to “sit with” my anxiety for a while first - as my therapist suggests - to see if I really feel the need to see the GP. (Getting an appointment takes weeks though!!)

[pulisa]

Make an appointment for 4 weeks time with your GP (routine) and see if you can "sit" on your anxiety until then. If you can and your symptoms lessen then maybe you could cancel it but I realise this may be too big a step to take at the moment? Maybe your therapist could support you whilst you wait?

[jojo2316]

Make an appointment for 4 weeks time with your GP (routine) and see if you can "sit" on your anxiety until then. If you can and your symptoms lessen then maybe you could cancel it but I realise this may be too big a step to take at the moment? Maybe your therapist could support you whilst you wait?

That is a great suggestion and exactly what I’ll do. I did the same thing a couple of weeks ago when I was in a panic about a lymph node. In the end I didn’t need to go! But it’s HARD!!!!

[pulisa]

I know. All those little doubts as to whether you are doing the right thing etc..I'm doing the same thing at the moment but am determined to see it through.

[jojo2316]

I know. All those little doubts as to whether you are doing the right thing etc..I'm doing the same thing at the moment but am determined to see it through.

Oh poor you! And yet here you are, taking the time to help others. I hope it works out for you.... xxx

[jojo2316]

And now I’m losing weight!! I’ve lost 4lb in less than a week and I’m REALLY struggling to bare this anxiety. I want to rush to the GP today.
But I know what they’ll say: Anxiety.
In my therapy session last week I was saying how terrified I am of losing weight and how I panic whenever I drop any (in spite of wanting/needing to). It was actually my task for this week to try to lose some weight and not panic. But I didn’t try to lose this weight!!
Unintentional weight loss: red flag symptom.
I’m spiralling

[BeatriceJ]

So sorry you are feeling in the grip of your health anxiety Jojo , it’s awful being in that dark place .i myself have gone through so many bouts , including fear of P.c You sound though that you have a good insight in to it though which is brilliant , I agree with the others regarding seeking out tests , it simply doesn’t work to reassure those of us who sufffer from health anxiety , in fact as I think you already know it just locks you further on it , if you are anything like me you will get even more anxious having the the test / scan and have an agonising wait for results , on getting clear results it gives a lovely but momentary feel of thank god for that but it doesn’t last long , we start doubting the tests ( you read a story of someone who’s scan missed it etc) or we just move on to another scary illness ( with the help of doctor google!) . It’s so hard to fight against the urge to seek medical reassurance but if you want to get to a better place with your health anxiety it’s not a good move . Is CBT helping you ? , keep going you can do this ! , big hugs .