worried I’m having simple partial seizures

[motox&mascara]

I was doing good for a wee while...but I’m back

I’ve been experiencing these strange “turns” that are hard to describe but worry they could be simple partial seizures. I haven’t dared google so have only really read about them via this forum.
This last week I have experienced what I can only describe as déjà vu. Like I have repeated the same moment before is the best way to describe it. It only lasts a minute at most but it freaks me out, especially since I read that sp’s can present this way. I remember it all fully and am totally aware it’s happening.
I’ve experienced this before and did worry about seizures but it kind of tapered off and I forgot about it. But as it’s back, my mind has gone right on back there. I also get this weird tingling over my head, like you get with goosebumps, or like someone is tickling a part of my head - it feels like I’m just going to start shaking. I hate it. It’s happening now as I type this.
My major fear is that these will turn into big seizures, this especially worries me when driving (I was first on the scene once for an accident where the person had had a seizure while driving and I called the ambulance - I feel this is where my seizure fear started).

Anyway, I talked to my doc about it as we are currently waiting on a neuro appointment for my dizziness and he said that even if they were seizures, he thinks it unlikely they they will develop into full blown seizures and not to worry. Of course, I still worry.
I’ve had a clear eeg in the past for seizure activity but that was about 3 years ago.

I’m in such a state, i won’t drive anywhere, I’ve had to send my son to stay with his nan because I’m so stuck in my own head over it all and I’m just sitting and waiting. Scared I’ll have one while my sons around etc etc. I’ve been crying all day and to be honest thought about ending it. I’m so over my HA.
I started back on escitalopram about a week ago and I’m feeling super run down and tired. The seizure thoughts are just making everything worse.

What sucks is that I was making so much progress and now I’m back where I was.

I just wanted to put this out there to see what others think, or of others can relate. Of course I know nobody can tell me what it is or isn’t and I have touched base with my doc while waiting for neuro (who knows how long that will take) I just don’t know where else to go but here because my family don’t want to hear about it. I actually feel like a disgrace of a person and a really really bad mother. I’m feeling really depressd and anxious with zero energy.

Anyway, thanks for reading if you got this far
Honest feedback totally welcome.
I need to come back to this planet instead of being stuck to far deep in my head.

Take care,
A

[MyNameIsTerry]

I don't know about simple partial seizures but I can tell you that there are a type a seizure that anyone can experience and they are known to be more likely in people with certain mental health problems. They are called Non Epileptic Seizures (NES) and a panic attack is listen as a possibility.

Your GP obviously wants to rule anything out so you will get the best advice from the neurologist but I just wanted to pop this out there so that you can try to remember that not all seizures are the kind we commonly hear of.

I know someone who had a NES once. It's uncommon to hear about NES on NMP, I've only seen a couple of threads about them and most people posting had never heard of them. In the case of the guy I knew he was under a ton of stress for years, but no mental health disorders, and it just hit him one day whilst out doing his shopping. The neurologist said the scan revealed nothing and diagnosed a NES. He's never had another one since in years.

Perhaps you can take this information and try to use it to downplay what your subconscious is trying to tell you right now whilst you wait? Certainly what you describe can fit into anxiety and deja vu crops up from time to time on here.

[elle95]

Hi Motox&Mascara, I'm sorry for what you're going through right now, and since you have kids you must feel more sad :( *sigh* You're by no means a bad mother trust me, I know you're doing this for your children's sake just how a loving mother would do. I hope that when you go to the doctor everything turns out all right <3

I can relate, I'm 22 and female and I have brain tumor fear and weird scary headaches, but I also have what could be focal seizures. I didn't know they were seizures until I started googling of course. I smelled smoke in august last year, smelled strwaberry sauce like two months ago. I held my nose to see if the odor was there and it was actually in my nose, that was so scary. I also have sudden feelings of sadness that only last a few seconds, but I've had them since I was a kid, but since last year they have become more frequent and I also read those could mean focal seizures. Also, deja vu, last summer I have deja vu and confusion I was doubtful of my reality and so. I'm scared that these are actually symptoms of brain tumor, right now it's 2:00 am where I livve but I can't sleep cause my arm has been twitching like crazy and I'm very scared I'm visualizing myself going to the er and getting mri and being diagnosed I'm actually crying and I have uni today and can't concentrate :( and I'm also scared of a grand mal seizure when I'm outside and collapse in the middle of the city :( I can't get the mri rn cause 1. my health insurance has issues 2. I'm too scared and a bit claustrophobic and nervous to go inside that machine.
I was raised as a christian even though lately I have become a bit agnostic abut i will pray for us, this is so scary...

[motox&mascara]

I don't know about simple partial seizures but I can tell you that there are a type a seizure that anyone can experience and they are known to be more likely in people with certain mental health problems. They are called Non Epileptic Seizures (NES) and a panic attack is listen as a possibility.

Your GP obviously wants to rule anything out so you will get the best advice from the neurologist but I just wanted to pop this out there so that you can try to remember that not all seizures are the kind we commonly hear of.

I know someone who had a NES once. It's uncommon to hear about NES on NMP, I've only seen a couple of threads about them and most people posting had never heard of them. In the case of the guy I knew he was under a ton of stress for years, but no mental health disorders, and it just hit him one day whilst out doing his shopping. The neurologist said the scan revealed nothing and diagnosed a NES. He's never had another one since in years.

Perhaps you can take this information and try to use it to downplay what your subconscious is trying to tell you right now whilst you wait? Certainly what you describe can fit into anxiety and deja vu crops up from time to time on here.

Thanks for the reply terry
I’ve come across a couple of posts of yours around this subject and never knew such a thing existed. As much as I want to ask more questions about what NES are, and what the person you speak of experienced I know it would only make me worse

I will take in what you said though and downplay it as best I can in the moment. I’m hoping it’s just all down to anxiety though and possibly hormone related maybe. It seems to have a bit of a pattern I’ve noticed but I won’t go into that here ha. It’s funny as usually I’d go straight to the brain tumour route but not this time for some reason.
I’ll be sure to updat this thread when I have an answer, but for now I’ll hope for the best albeit a bit impatiently lol.

---------- Post added at 21:42 ---------- Previous post was at 21:29 ----------

Hi Motox&Mascara, I'm sorry for what you're going through right now, and since you have kids you must feel more sad :( *sigh* You're by no means a bad mother trust me, I know you're doing this for your children's sake just how a loving mother would do. I hope that when you go to the doctor everything turns out all right <3

I can relate, I'm 22 and female and I have brain tumor fear and weird scary headaches, but I also have what could be focal seizures. I didn't know they were seizures until I started googling of course. I smelled smoke in august last year, smelled strwaberry sauce like two months ago. I held my nose to see if the odor was there and it was actually in my nose, that was so scary. I also have sudden feelings of sadness that only last a few seconds, but I've had them since I was a kid, but since last year they have become more frequent and I also read those could mean focal seizures. Also, deja vu, last summer I have deja vu and confusion I was doubtful of my reality and so. I'm scared that these are actually symptoms of brain tumor, right now it's 2:00 am where I livve but I can't sleep cause my arm has been twitching like crazy and I'm very scared I'm visualizing myself going to the er and getting mri and being diagnosed I'm actually crying and I have uni today and can't concentrate :( and I'm also scared of a grand mal seizure when I'm outside and collapse in the middle of the city :( I can't get the mri rn cause 1. my health insurance has issues 2. I'm too scared and a bit claustrophobic and nervous to go inside that machine.
I was raised as a christian even though lately I have become a bit agnostic abut i will pray for us, this is so scary...

I’m sorry to hear your going through this too :(
If it helps any I’ve been through what your going through and it started when I was about 21. I’m 27 now and nothing has ever happened *touch wood* but I know what our minds can be like and the scenarios we create for ourselves. The minds pretty powerfull.

Sorry that I can’t be if to much help as I’m just as anxious at the moment but try your best to be positive as hard as it is. Your still young and you got to remember that brain tumours are super rare!! Have you spoken to your doctor about how your feeling? If not I suggest you do, not because I think something is wrong but because that’s what they are there for. I’m always updating my doc and as much as I probably drive him insane, he helps keep a different perspective on things. And whatever you do, don’t google. You see it on here time and time again and that’s because it’s true, google is just that, google. It’s doesn’t know you, it can’t diagnose you.
Also MRI’s aren’t to bad but I guess it depends on the person. Strange, yes but nothing to be scared of. I had one a few years ago. I got headphones and they put music on for me so i just closed my eyes and went with it (I get claustraphobic too)

I wish you all the best and am sending positive vibes your way

P.s - you will be totally fine...I bet ya!

[motox&mascara]

I thought I’d wrote a little update...

Ended up getting a neuro appointment earlier than I thought due to a cancellation.
After a good chat and a thorough Nero exam she came to conclusion that no further tests were necessary as it’s not a tumour, it’s not MS and she doesn’t suspect seizures.

I felt really good afterwards but as I expected, the what if’s have crept back in because I didn’t get another scan, I forgot to mention this or that (you know the drill) and the feelings are back...again.

So I am working on accepting that there is simply nothing wrong and trying to get on with life which includes not reading google or forums (I just came on here to update) i actually have spent a few days here and here out and about exploring with my 7 y/o, just me and him which is something I haven’t been able to do in a very long time...not every day is a good day but they are there and I’m holding onto that.

After a bit of searching I think it may be down to estrogen dominance so I’m working on trying to balance that out naturallly while making sure to take my escitalopram.

I wish you all the best in your journeys, we can all get through this!

Take care all
A

[Scissel]

I thought I’d wrote a little update...

Ended up getting a neuro appointment earlier than I thought due to a cancellation.
After a good chat and a thorough Nero exam she came to conclusion that no further tests were necessary as it’s not a tumour, it’s not MS and she doesn’t suspect seizures.

I felt really good afterwards but as I expected, the what if’s have crept back in because I didn’t get another scan, I forgot to mention this or that (you know the drill) and the feelings are back...again.

So I am working on accepting that there is simply nothing wrong and trying to get on with life which includes not reading google or forums (I just came on here to update) i actually have spent a few days here and here out and about exploring with my 7 y/o, just me and him which is something I haven’t been able to do in a very long time...not every day is a good day but they are there and I’m holding onto that.

After a bit of searching I think it may be down to estrogen dominance so I’m working on trying to balance that out naturallly while making sure to take my escitalopram.

I wish you all the best in your journeys, we can all get through this!

Take care all
A

Yes ... we WILL get through this and thank you for the well wishes and I hope you're feeling better and stronger each day. Some days are hard but expected. Good luck and feel free to let us know how you're doing.

~Sal