Does anyone else have a general sense of feeling 'bad' for having their anxiety - not physically bad but I guess it's a sense of guilt, shame or unworthiness but maybe that's because of my accompanying depression. I didn't used to feel this way but it's being going on so long now and I've tried loads of anti-depressants and therapies and I feel I should have improved instead of getting worse year on year. I can do a bit of cognitive, rational stuff and tell myself I'm not 'bad' but it doesn't seem to change the overwhleming feeling. I'm feeling particularly bad now 'cos Christmas is coming, another year ending and I'm no further forward and I'm feeling so hopeless and helpless. I dread almost everything and I can't work out why, e.g. going to visit my husband's relatives - I didn't used to be anxious about them.
I'ved read so much and had so much advice it just goes round and round in my head. Common advice for anxiety sufferes is to learn how to express emotions but most of the time I don't know what I'm feeling 'cos anxiety masks it. Sometimes something happens and instead of feeling something I get a panicky rush and I'm busy trying to work out what I'm feeling and also trying to deal with the anxiety at the same time and then I think what a sad state I'm in for doing this and how far I am from being well again. The same happens if someone says something I disagree with and I get panicky about trying to express my own opinion. My self-confidence gets less and less and that fuels even more anxiety as I worry about how to get it back! Instead of moving forwards, I'm just going backwards!
Theresa