How to make new friends?

[Star]

thanks Lilith,

feeling really low and stuck today. been searching for clubs and stuff in my area but nothings really come up... I can't afford to get a membership to a gym etc, and i dont think that i can always go GAH!

it sucks...

[Bunty]

Hi

I to do not have any friends or partner and find it impossible to go out and socialise. Anyway, how can I go to the pub etc when I don't have anyone to go with? At 38 years old I find this extremely difficult to cope with.

Bx

[Lilith1980]

Hey Bunty

How about smoe friendship sites like in my post above? You can get chatting to people and arrange to meet up? Might be a good way to meet people hun

Jo xxxxx

[Gryphoenix]

I'm 22 so don't feel bad there!

I'm not really that social but I really do want to spend time with people, but when I do I feel terribly anxious! I rarely go out with friends and I feel bad that I'm missing out with something that apparently 'eeeverybodyyyy' does, but I can't seem to relax even when out with someone I am good friends with!

I don't have a liscence so that really is a huge part of it. Here in the states or at least where I live, everyone needs a car or has a car! The public transporation sucks. It's too far to walk anywhere and my friends live too far away to walk. So I have to ask someone to pick me up or ask my parents to drop me off and I don't want to be a burden, gas prices are soaring anyway...

I still go to school so I do have school friends but my closest friends have all either graduated or moved away.

I end up making excuses when I'm asked to go to the movies or whatever, I feel like it's going to be such a chore trying not to be anxious and relax and simply have FUN. Why can't I just let go?

I would like more net friends though, except I don't trust those friendship sites and meeting people online, no offense to anyone...>__> The only place I feel safe to meet people is at conventions where everyone is from the online world.

I was thinking randomly not too long ago about best friends and I was like, if I ever got married I wouldn't have anyone to be my maid of honor! Most of my good friends are guys (it's probably cause of the program I'm in at school, lol) and I do have close girl friends but no one that I've known a really long time and am super, super close to. I think I might be getting there but I just dunno...maybe I'm being insecure. XD I have a few really super close girl buddies from when I was little but we only talk online and they live across the country.

Anyone up for a PM let me know, I love conversations and meeting new people, especially from other countries. Interational friends would be so awesome. I'm a total Anglophile...

[Gryphoenix]

For fast, easy friends, have you ever tried online gaming? It's a good easy way to make friends. Just gotta warn you some people might be mean (hardcore gamers, lol) but a lot are actually quite nice and once you make some allies that get on a lot you can have a lot of fun! MMORPG's they're called where you have to work with other players online to beat the game, etc. You don't have to try anything hard or addicting like World of Warcraft, there are lots of small fun games.

I think getting a hobby and finding a niche that you like will help. Like going to an anime or comic or sci fi convention. You meet new people and it's fun and exciting. Have something to talk about, have things in common, and friends will eventually follow.

[Horse]

Remember what they say;

If your old friends no longer want to know you, they weren't really true friends in the first place.

Kevin.

[pink daisy]

awww Thats really sweet Horse x Very true!!

[c700]

I also totally understand! I have one or two friends but have lost others due to anxiety. I am slowly trying to make new friends like others at the gym and slowly trying to build up my confidence by simply having a conversation with people when i am out and about. If you fancy a chat just pm mexxx

[Bunty]

Everyone has come up with some good ideas but I can't meet up with strangers. I can't even go out with my sister or Mum!!
I'm just going to have to accept that it's going to be a while before i make friends with someone and am able to go out.
I also don't drive which does cause a problem but I don't have the confidence to learn.
There's no helping me at the moment. I basically need a mentor to guide me through things!

B

[delta]

I've been reading this thread with interest, I also struggle with friendships, I've lost a lot of mine (OK truthfully, all of them) over the years, due to my problems. I've tried really hard to make new ones but it's so difficult. I've done evening classes, day classes, gone swimming etc etc but most people seem to 'take a friend' and it's difficult to either get eye contact or strike up conversation - does anyone have any tips? I don't go out to work at the moment so I'm feeling very isolated.