School Dance and stuff

[xlauracx]

Hello everyone, hope your doin alrite! I've been off school today, was sick when i woke up! But I'm fine now. Anyways, Its my school dance next monday night. Possibly my last one, unless i stay on at school another year if the universities don't want me! But I don't know if I should go or not. I have a ticket and an outfit so ya'd think i'd decided to go eh? My mum told me to get them so id have the option.

See I have been in less than half of my classes since September, so one of the reasons I'm not sure if i should go is Do i really deserve to? Mostly cos of something a girl said to one of my friends that went along the lines of "How can she go to the dance if she cant go to her classes?" And i can accept that she isn't one of my friends so doesn't know a lot about me, but what if theres more than just her thinking this?

This reason is really the biggest, but i dont think logically so didnt put it first! It's the fact its in the assembly hall which i havent been in since again September, and it'l be dark, and there will be LOADS of people, and everyone will be moving around and dancing (the fun ones like the military two step n dashing white sergeant and stuff) and Its gona make me uncomfortble and panicky, and i dont want to waste everyones night and be the wee one sittin at the side watching. Ive got plenty of mates, so they wouldn't leave me out, or let me sit out alone, so id feel bad if they sat out with me! And i know i could leave when i wanted, or go out into the big hall next to it, but again someone might come with me, and i dont want them to have their night wasted you know?

The Final reason is......Theres gonna be a buffet. And I'm not the best at eating right now, and i have for years hated eating in front of people, or out of the house for that matter. But if i dont eat ill look stupid, and if i do then well actually, i know i wont be able to! And again I could go out into that hall and sit out there and wait, but someone might follow and theyd be missing theyre night! Or worse.......A teacher could follow, then come the akward questions!

I don't know if you will have any advice for me, i cant see anyway of avoiding these problems! But maybe you's can. I know that my friends do want me to go, (they bought me the ticket as a hint!) but stil......And theyll all be drinking before it, and I would feel obliged to join in, but I know id make myself feel worse in the long run.

Hope your xmas shoppings all going ok. I did a lot of mines on the internet, what a wonderful thing it is!


xxxxx



~Laulz~

[Meg]

Hi Laura,

You can feel safe knowing you can leave anytime you want to.

At a buffet you can put a couple of things on your plate and wander round but not actually eat them in front of anyone .

If you need to leave to calm down - just sidle off - no need for anyone to come with you .
Take no notice of that girl. She has no idea .







Meg
www.overcominganxiety.co.uk

You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance

[mico]

Hi Laura

It's my experience that these types of situations are usually a good thing. And it does sounds like you want to go. Normally you find - although hard to imagine beforehand - that you really end up enjoying yourself, even if you do feel a little uncomfortable at times. The way it normally goes - at least for me - is that you feel pretty uncomfortable and nervous for the first half hour, the second half hour you still feel uncomfortable but getting better, then afterwards you start to loosen up as you realise that it's not actually all that bad. Can be a huge boost to your confidence afterwards.

It sounds like you have a good bunch of mates too, and even though you are concerned about them missing out on their night, they're probably just as concerned about you, it works both ways. And the Buffet, you shouldn't feel obliged to have any, you'll probably notice that plenty of people don't have anything from the buffet, I know I've been to a few parties and not had anything from the buffet, it isn't unusual.

It's just one of those situations that are so hard to look at rationally beforehand, and usually end in a complete anti-climax.

Good luck, I'm sure it will go well .

mico

[xlauracx]

Hey Meg, tah 4 the advice but

"If you need to leave to calm down - just sidle off - no need for anyone to come with you."

probs wont work, someone will follow or even if they dont theyr will be teachers out there. But im going to stop thinking about it and just not like play through it in my head anymore, its just creatin more problems! Your buffet advice was good though! If the foods made buy the dinner ladies everyone will probably be doing the same, picking it up but then thinking better of eating it!!!

Ooooo and guess what? That very girl got jumped at school today for talking about someone else! (I had nothing to do with it i PROMISE!) It is a bit of a shame on her, (she wasnt taken to hospital or anything, just a bit bruised) but shell not be talking about people again in a hurry!


mico, tah for your advice as well, the buffet thing is probably true enough, and as ive mentioned already the food will be pants anyway!!! I'm quite sort of excited about it now.....got new pointy shoes delivered today!!!

But i also learned id failed my english test, one chance at a resit or im kicked off the course. (quite evil eh? the pressure they put on ya! Am only little!)

Hope ya all had a good day! xxx

~Laulz~

[Jen84]

Hey i havnt posted on here for ages but i saw ur post and i understand how you're feeling! My advice is just go for it!! u will regret it if u dont! i was really nervous before my end of year dance but i went and had a great time! my experience of school dances are..normally at least 3 girls will run out in tears and sit outside all night!and thats over stupid things like a boy! people wont think bad of u if u slip outside now and again just say its too hot in the halls or u have to call someone!
I really hope u go, if ur mates are like mine they will keep u busy with gossip and stuff!
Hope this helps
Jenny x

Don't ever let go of Hope, it gives us the strength to keep going when we feel like giving up!

[vernon]

hi, Yes u go, why shouldnt u? even if u havnt been in school as often as others u r a member of that school and are fully entitled to attend. also its much harder for u to go to school than most of them? Your friends want u to go and u will not dissapoint them, u will let them down more if u dont go. You go to school work hard and try to learn to which i am sure a lot who attend every day dont. You ignore what u think people are thinking and go OK? and all the other things you are saying are what if's, thats the way we all think and u know well thats not realy what we should think? hope u go and enjoy yourself cos if u dont u know u will be saying after wish i went. specialy now your frieinds have got u a ticket? u go and take care. vernon

[xlauracx]

Jen84: hiya! Yea, i suppose there usually are some "fall-outs" between people and some end up crying outside....Hadn't thought of that- tah!
And yea my mates will probably do more gossiping than dancing! Lol. Im quite looking forward to it in a kind of held back way now!.......Cant wait to do my favourite dance, The dashing white sergeant! or the other one that i always mistakenly called "strip the widow" but apparently its "strip the willow" hmmmm, makes so much more sence now! And isnt as rude!


vernon: Tah for your forceful vote of confidance! lol. Im going (a t m) so its nice to know that you think i should, i wasnt sure if i should after what that girl said because its true that i havent been in classes, but i have worked double as hard to keep up...so why shouldnt i have some ermmmm fun? lol. Nah im sure once im there and stripping that widow (lol hope you read above for that to make sense!) It will be ace!

Hope yas all had a gd day! xxx

~Laulz~