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Thread: Fear of being on my own for the rest of my life (:

  1. #21
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    Re: Fear of being on my own for the rest of my life (:

    Quote Originally Posted by Buster70 View Post
    I did laugh that you asked what platitude means , I thought the same thing dammed state education maybe I should have listened in school , my neighbour is 90 she's never married and lived alone since her parents died many years ago , she's had one life long freind who is now in a care home with dementia but she has always been happy in her own company and very positive, she used to go away on cruises and trips to London to posh hotels , she doesn't have the stresses of family life , believe me family life can be hard and feel just as lonely ( alone with everyone ) .
    You know sometimes you try so hard for something you end up pushing it further out of reach , you seem like a good man so just keep on hanging in there and keep getting out and about the more people you meet the higher the odds of finding someone you click with .Take care
    That's ok Buster I genuinely didn't know the meaning of the word! Sure I don't mind some time on my own, but I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life, not after a relationship, had a few of those and they are too complicated for me so good friends is a great option Yes I do try too hard but that's the fighter in me. Well thank you Buster Iam a good guy (look at me blowing my own trumpet lol) just lost his way at the moment ATB

    ---------- Post added at 11:02 ---------- Previous post was at 11:00 ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by Buster70 View Post
    What's google ? I'll have to bing it
    You know Google is a no,no Buster LOL ATB

    ---------- Post added at 11:07 ---------- Previous post was at 11:02 ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by Lola-Lee View Post
    I am alone,might have something too do with my tattoos and foul language,but that's me folks.

    At the moment I love my life and the freedom to do what I want.
    That's fine Lola-Lee and I doubt that's the reasons why you are on your own We are primarily social animals but sometimes, somethings go wrong (through no fault of our own) and we end up alone. Can I ask if you are married? And I bet you do have friends too ATB

    ---------- Post added at 11:12 ---------- Previous post was at 11:07 ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by WiseMonkey View Post
    Hi there,

    I don't know your age but never give up that you may find a kindred spirit.
    Like others have said, it can happen later in life too.

    Many of us married young (in our twenties) and had bad marriages, which we ended. So you are then on your own, even if you have children, it's not the same as having a loving companion.

    I persevered with a verbally abusive marriage for 15 years before ending it (I was 39). Over the ensuing years I had a few boyfriends but none I lived with.

    At 56 I met my lovely partner (the love of my life) and after 4 years we set up home. It's great, I'm so blessed to have found him, I'm 61 and he's 64.

    So I was on my own for 19 years before my partner moved in with me

    ps. I met my partner on an online dating site. It's a local New Zealand site so you can select from different cities and areas within that city. I have other friends my age who've had success with online dating as well. Well worth a try
    Hi Thanks for your reply Not really looking for a relationship like I previously said they can be complicated but you story is inspirational 19 years is a long time to suffer. Happy to make new friends to share my hobbies and interests, but when I get home that's it, it's my space just for me ATB

    ---------- Post added at 11:22 ---------- Previous post was at 11:12 ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by Elen View Post
    Dave I know that you do not like group meetings but I really do feel that through them you stand the best chance of meeting friends.

    It is asking a lot of anyone to engage in a one to one meeting as a first off and it could be too intense for a number of people.

    Are you still going out an about to places where you are likely to meet people who you can start up a casual conversation with?

    Do you have a local pub?

    The only way to meet people is to get out and among them, as someone else has said the more people you meet the better your chances of meeting the right person.
    Hi Elen yes I understand that, A lot of disappointment has stemmed from the Meet Up section here (which is no longer used that much,) it did bring me hope at first but not now and it's false sense of security to me now (: Well recently I did look at a meet up.com group for anxiety/depression quite local to me, and once logged the group you can message members that have joined the group so messaged one person who actually lives in the same town as me and we have already met locally for a drink and we have since made arrangements to go out again So baby steps for now I think!! Thank you all so far for your comments folks ATB

  2. #22

    Re: Fear of being on my own for the rest of my life (:

    I feel that way. But i try to focus on my own dreams. And what i like. What i want. And i start to feel excited for it.

    Sometimes we are so selfless We forget about ourselves

    There may be not a thing i can do about being alone But i can fill my days with as much joy as i can doing what i love going where i want and spending time with those who love and support me.

    It works for me for now. I have a lot of skills i am interested in acquiring. As well as a fitness routine that works for me. So i can look how i want.

    I hope this helps. I know pain all too well. But there is life outside another person. Life forced me to see this. When it was all snatched away from me

    Sent from my LGMP450 using Tapatalk

  3. #23
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    Re: Fear of being on my own for the rest of my life (:

    Quote Originally Posted by imabit2lil View Post
    I feel that way. But i try to focus on my own dreams. And what i like. What i want. And i start to feel excited for it.

    Sometimes we are so selfless We forget about ourselves

    There may be not a thing i can do about being alone But i can fill my days with as much joy as i can doing what i love going where i want and spending time with those who love and support me.

    It works for me for now. I have a lot of skills i am interested in acquiring. As well as a fitness routine that works for me. So i can look how i want.

    I hope this helps. I know pain all too well. But there is life outside another person. Life forced me to see this. When it was all snatched away from me

    Sent from my LGMP450 using Tapatalk
    I understand that, but at least you have people to spend time with I haven't sadly. ATB

  4. #24

    Re: Fear of being on my own for the rest of my life (:

    Quote Originally Posted by Bigboyuk View Post
    I understand that, but at least you have people to spend time with I haven't sadly. ATB
    I don't have any friends or anything i spend everyday alone

    But I took the initiative to host a get together for myself my mom and brothers.

    They are all traveling to my house
    And i intend on treating all of us to dinner and a movie.

    It gave me a goal to save up
    And gave me something to look forward too

    And i am planning for us once a year to all get together and each of us take turns hosting it.

    I also found someone to study the bible with.

    So try to take the initiative and give yourself something to look forward to. The weather will break soon. There will be pottery classes discounts on groupon for all sorts of fun things.

    Build your support circle. My family and I were never close. This get together I'm hosting is an attempt to put our past behind us. Because I need it. But I won't tell them all that hahah

    Sent from my LGMP450 using Tapatalk

  5. #25
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    Re: Fear of being on my own for the rest of my life (:

    Quote Originally Posted by imabit2lil View Post
    I don't have any friends or anything i spend everyday alone

    But I took the initiative to host a get together for myself my mom and brothers.

    They are all traveling to my house
    And i intend on treating all of us to dinner and a movie.

    It gave me a goal to save up
    And gave me something to look forward too

    And i am planning for us once a year to all get together and each of us take turns hosting it.

    I also found someone to study the bible with.

    So try to take the initiative and give yourself something to look forward to. The weather will break soon. There will be pottery classes discounts on groupon for all sorts of fun things.

    Build your support circle. My family and I were never close. This get together I'm hosting is an attempt to put our past behind us. Because I need it. But I won't tell them all that hahah

    Sent from my LGMP450 using Tapatalk
    I cant even do that as I live in cluttered house so Iam doomed to be alone for the rest of my life Ive had enough. And emotionally dead inside currently being hurt by someone too thx for reading. ATB
    Last edited by Bigboyuk; 22-03-18 at 14:55.

  6. #26
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    Re: Fear of being on my own for the rest of my life (:

    BB are your parents still around? Do you have any Brothers or Sisters?

  7. #27
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    Re: Fear of being on my own for the rest of my life (:

    Quote Originally Posted by BikerMatt View Post
    BB are your parents still around? Do you have any Brothers or Sisters?
    no mum died about 12 years ago dad about 30 years ago, got one sister one brother they support but very little and in any case if mum and dad was still alive I still want friends in my life if that makes sense?! ATB

  8. #28
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    Re: Fear of being on my own for the rest of my life (:

    I thought you joined a walking and dog walking group? Did you not meet people through that? BB if you don't mind me asking how old are you?

  9. #29
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    Re: Fear of being on my own for the rest of my life (:

    Quote Originally Posted by BikerMatt View Post
    I thought you joined a walking and dog walking group? Did you not meet people through that? BB if you don't mind me asking how old are you?
    The person running it left to do something else just waiting for some one else to take their place. I don't mind you asking but age is just number to me Iam 45. ATB

  10. #30
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    Re: Fear of being on my own for the rest of my life (:

    Quote Originally Posted by Bigboyuk View Post
    The person running it left to do something else just waiting for some one else to take their place. I don't mind you asking but age is just number to me Iam 45. ATB
    Sorry you've lost your parents BB.

    I don't have an answer but i do know that every single mate i've had since leaving school has been through hobbies and sports i've played. If you don't have many hobbies is there not something you would like to do? I can guarantee you'll meet people.

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