suicidal and hopeless

[grimboddy]

i feel bad for posting so much but lmao i honestly feel like i'm completely out of control. my anxiety has been so out of hand lately and i'm seriously considering suicide. i feel like i'll never calm down and i'll just have to live like this forever and frankly, it's too hard and i'd rather die that do that. i feel like because of how bad my anxiety has gotten in the last year i don't have a future. i can't hold a job, i don't have any friends where i live, my family is fed up with my declining mental health and i just feel like i can't do anything that somebody my age should otherwise could be doing. i live in one of the worst states for mental health in america and i don't have a lot of options other than therapy. it's an extremely trying situation to be in.

i've had almost non-stop panic attacks to the point of being in tears for almost a week now. nothing fixes them. i'm not really even sure what this is for other than venting... it's so hard and i just don't want to deal with any of this anymore.

[Bigboyuk]

Hi grimboddy been in a very similar position to you about 3 months ago I couldn't see any other way out what makes it worse is damn spring is now fast approaching and people Will be out with their bloody friends enjoying them selves going on holidays, drinking etc and all the normal stuff that most folk take for granted, so know how you feel. but it's not the way forward to contemplate suicide. It will get easier I promise ATB

[grimboddy]

hello Bigboyuk and raindrops,

i've still been having a rough time of it so i don't have much of an update but i wanted to thank you both so much for your kind replies... they made me feel a lot better!!

[Bigboyuk]

Hi grimboddy, well that's good! Are you keeping busy today? Think that's the key here so you don't dwell on your thoughts we are here to help!! ATB