i feel bad for posting so much but lmao i honestly feel like i'm completely out of control. my anxiety has been so out of hand lately and i'm seriously considering suicide. i feel like i'll never calm down and i'll just have to live like this forever and frankly, it's too hard and i'd rather die that do that. i feel like because of how bad my anxiety has gotten in the last year i don't have a future. i can't hold a job, i don't have any friends where i live, my family is fed up with my declining mental health and i just feel like i can't do anything that somebody my age should otherwise could be doing. i live in one of the worst states for mental health in america and i don't have a lot of options other than therapy. it's an extremely trying situation to be in.
i've had almost non-stop panic attacks to the point of being in tears for almost a week now. nothing fixes them. i'm not really even sure what this is for other than venting... it's so hard and i just don't want to deal with any of this anymore.