I think it's incredible that your Dad has managed to stave off osteoarthritis until the grand age of 88! A lot of middle aged people have got it as a matter of "ageing" and "wear and tear".

You sound as if you are getting things sorted in your mind which can be comforting. I'm always better with a plan of action and I hate not having things "sorted". I think it comes from always having to be one step ahead.

You do so much for your Dad despite having Mrs F to care for during her flare-ups but if other family members can step in to lighten your load they are only doing their fair share.