Too many directions

[Buster70]

Hope it goes ok tomorrow ( I think the funeral is tomorrow right ? ) take it steady if you do have a drink too much to quickly can have the opposite affect to calming the nerves with us lot , it’s just one day assuming it is tomorrow and you will get through it , just tell yourself it’s not about me today .
take care , buddy.

[Darksky]

I've been thinking of you these past couple of days....If the funeral is indeed tomorrow, I hope it goes as well as it can. It's just half an hour...you've got this!

[fishman65]

Thank you Buster and Darksky. The funeral was indeed today and I drank but not excessively, enough to get me through it. This week has not been so bad anxiety-wise strangely but last week was pretty awful. Anyway it's done and dusted but no doubt the anxiety will simply switch focus on to something else. It needs an outlet and will find one as ever it does. How are you guys doing?

[Carnation]

Well done fishman for getting through a difficult day.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Very sorry to hear about this, fishman. What an awful thing to happen, the poor guy and his family. Best wishes to you all.

A very stark reminder that sometimes fate just happens to us all no matter whether we worry or not. It must bring some very mixed feelings when struggling with mental health and someone so young is lost in such a way?

Did I see you say a young lad in your family has been in hospital with concussion too? Sorry to hear about the young lad too. How is he now?

How is MrsF's treatment going? And your daughter, is she getting her life back?

[fishman65]

Thank you Carnation and Terry for your kind words. Terry I couldn't think who you meant at first about the concussion but yes our grandson, that was in January I think? He is fine now thank you but that was an RTA too. As for my nephew well all we can be grateful for is that he died instantly in the words of the police. My brother and SIL had gone to the funeral directors but the coffin was 'closed casket' meaning they couldn't see him. Which was distressing to know, thinking what it means.

Yesterday was desperately sad, 47 is no age. The order of service program featured two photos of him. The one on the back really got to me, he was a little boy holding a cat in his beloved Liverpool kit. He was wearing the kit, not the cat. The funeral is the final word isn't it. That's it now, he's gone. It's strange because only now does the sadness seem to be hitting, I've been so focused on 'getting through' the funeral but now there is time for reflection.

Mrs F has an appt coming up in April to see the gastro specialist. The Bell's Palsy is still affecting her though the GP said it could be up to 6 months before it eases. My daughter has put the ex behind her I think now, or as much as anyone can. She has a job in a co-op in a nearby town and is doing well there, I think she enjoys seeing all the different walks of life coming through. Not the shoplifters though, the staff are instructed not to intervene and the police don't respond unless the stolen goods add up to over £70 or something?

Hugs to everyone on these boards

[Darksky]

Yes it will be afterwards that the deep sadness will hit. Everybody gears up for the funeral, it gives them a focus, something they have to concentrate on. It does serve as a closure for people, draws a line on the page but no one ever says that when the page is turned the next one is totally blank. It's an extremely sad time and I feel for all your family.

I've heard that about shop lifting too. There was a chap on the tv the other day talking about it and he mentioned a £200 limit before the police would come out. We have the shoplifters at our co op, it does annoy me because I love our shop it's the only place we have like that. The nearest supermarket is miles away.

Take care of yourself

[fishman65]

Hi again folks. I hope nobody minds me resurrecting this old thread. I've not posted much lately as I hate to appear as a whinge bag and there are people on this site experiencing much worse than myself. Anyway since losing my nephew in February I've been struggling a lot with my own feelings of mortality. I suppose we can all get a bit blase about life, thinking our own deaths are way off in the distant future somewhere. But my nephew was 6 years younger than me, going about his life until one miscalculation while driving his HGV and he's gone. Many would think that a good way to go, instantly with no build up and no time to think deeply about what we fear.

Very recently Mrs F has made an appt to see a liver specialist. When she had her gall bladder out in 2014 it was discovered she had some scarring of the liver. She barely drinks alcohol and the doctors told her it was fatty liver disease unrelated to alcohol consumption. Now I'm dreading she hasn't got long even though I've known for nearly 5 years she's had this condition. I suppose this on it's own should be enough to cause anxiety but I have this feeling of life being very fragile. I've been thinking today what would I do if I lost her? I'm hardly unique in experiencing such a fear over a loved one. I've felt like crying today, I'm totally overreacting.

[Buster70]

Fish Ive been doing the same thing for over 25 years , my partner started having heart problems soon after having our first daughter , she now 28 , in the early days I’d brush it off with she’ll be ok , but it has got harder with her being seriously ill so many times , many times I’ve thought this is the time I’ll lose her but she’s still here and will probably out live me , if you could have said to me 25 years ago she will definitely be ok I wouldn’t have had to waste so much time on un necessary worrying but life is unpredictable and fragile we become more aware of that as we get older , all we can do is take it one day at a time and deal with what life throws at us the best we can .
Take care matey .

[Darksky]

Hey Fish, it's your thread and you can update whenever you want. It's good to do so....I like to hear everyone's ok.

i think everyone, as they get older, struggles with mortality, their own and others. Both of us have ageing parents, it's a shock to the very core when we are faced with their mortality. But I think this like other things becomes a source of worry and food for anxiety. We think our friends and family are going to die because of AB orC and as Buster says, they don't and we have invested so much stress and worry over something that actually doesn't come to pass. All we can do is live in the moment, the past has gone and why worry ourselves stupid about the future when it hasn't even happened yet.