Too many directions

[pulisa]

How great to be a selfish git..You could just blast your way through life and not give a damn!

[MyNameIsTerry]

Imagine being a selfish git and ending up with anxiety anyway, I would feel pretty cheated!

My dad's perhaps old fashioned in that our family get on, can argue one minute and be laughing the next, but not in each others pockets. When the big stuff happens though that's different. Thanks for the kind words, fishman.

[pulisa]

There's nothing that beats being a supportive and much valued member of the family, Fishman and I believe that kindness is the very best quality you can have. Selfish gits aren't respected and get their comeuppance eventually.

[pulisa]

Thank you pulisa. Hopefully she will regain all sensation or at least some of it. She has a mammogram this Wednesday so more nail biting. Why does life seem to revolve around hospitals and illness? Getting older I suppose.

My Dad will no doubt be off somewhere this year. They usually go on organised coach holidays, last year it was Bournemouth. Yes I told him he's got more lives than a cat

I don't know whether this helps but it seems she had a mammo this Feb so this was only 6 months ago. Anything bad would surely have shown up?

[fishman65]

Crikey I'd forgotten about that Pulisa. She didn't go, because of the Bell's Palsy and probably my nephew dying. Damn.

[fishman65]

I've held off reviving this thread because often if I see myself asking for reassurance, it kind of proves I'm struggling if that makes sense. But things have generally become more fraught in recent weeks. My Dad has needed help on a regular basis though he has someone to come in and cook/clean for him since he came out of hospital at the end of March.

Lately I've had trouble with a tooth and contacted the dentist's receptionist who said the dentist would phone back the next day. That was a first, 55 years and never had a dentist phone me. Anyway he seemed to be doing everything he could to dissuade me from making an appt. Shall we blame unprecedented times? So I requested one. Anxiety up a notch.

So that leads to today where Mrs F is in a lot of pain with her crohns disease. I thought 'no not now' but as they say, it is what it is. The thing is that she's been getting through flare-ups (notice I didn't say upticks) without having to be prescribed steroids. She hates the side effects, but then they are highly effective at controlling flares.

So now my anxiety is rubbing its hands with glee, there is nothing like my wife being in hospital to give it a boost. Its strange that my Dad was in hossy between 5th and 30th March and I handled that really well, lowish anxiety. But then there were other family members chipping in. Though I've googled hospital visiting and ours around here are not allowing any.

[pulisa]

So who has decided that Mrs F should be admitted to hospital? Her doctor or your anxiety?

Could her GP/consultant prescribe steroids to be taken at home if it comes to this? I'm sure her doctors would prefer her to remain at home rather than be admitted if the steroids do the necessary re flare ups? What does Mrs F want/think?

[AntsyVee]

It's okay to reach out when you're stressed. You're talking about some very real problems here. That's extremely different than talking about perceived symptoms over and over again.

You're not handling this as well as you did in March because it's piled up. It's like this: You ran a marathon in March, and you were tired afterwards. But now you've run five marathons, starting with the one in March. It adds up.

[fishman65]

Thank you both for your insightful and logical replies. Pulisa, yes my anxiety has made the decision about her being admitted. In fact there have been other occasions in the past where she hasn't been and there was no pandemic then. If only panic didn't seize the steering wheel at times like this and I do seem to attach more importance when its Mrs F rather than anyone else. I manage to run the house quite well without her input. So what I need to work on is why the extreme reaction when there is a 'potential' for her not to be present.

[pulisa]

Maybe it's not what she "represents" practically but the emotional impact of her not being a physical presence in the house and how that would make you feel? I presume you must have to put some sort of a "front" on for her but if she weren't there would you feel vulnerable and less motivated to carry on with your normal routine? You have always been a team so if one person isn't there-if only temporarily-it throws you off course and into unknown territory?

I'm probably totally wrong so feel free to rubbish all this!