Too many directions

[pulisa]

I'm not looking forward to any lifting of the lockdown either for different reasons but am going to go at my own pace and decide what I do and don't want to do.

I know the media is full of what people are looking forward to/booking and planning for but I'll be happy to see the tea rooms open again along with the hairdresser's. I have always lead a simple life anyway.

[AntsyVee]

I miss going to the movies and out to eat and being able to visit other people.

[AntsyVee]

Now that just made me laugh out loud!! Just me and Phil?? He doesn't like holidays in his own country though.

Well, maybe he'll let you stay in his house as he travels the world LOL

[fishman65]

Well, panic hit this afternoon. I'd dealt with the workmen who were here around three hours to fit a new fuse box. Then went down to QD for bird food, floor cleaner etc. Got home and my Dad phones about a cheque for his carer that needs signing. Also his garden waste bin needed chasing up. Then he needs taking for his second jab on Saturday.


Our black lab was bugging me for a walk. Son called to pick up a bed. Mrs F talking about a holiday this year, all the talk of opening up society, me arranging a dentist appt. How on Earth haven't I panicked before now??


I managed to take our black lab though, so that's a plus. I've had almost non-stop DP/DR in recent weeks, so had this clever idea of loading more commitment on to myself to distract myself from it. I don't think its worked and its now looking a really dumb idea.

[Carnation]

I can so resonate fishman. From the overload of duties and responsibilities to the opening up of society is if everything is fine now.
All I can advise is to prioritise your duties and if today is not enough time then it will have to wait until Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, next week, next month. You are in control of that. As for the lift on lockdown, go at your own pace. Again, you are in control.
As for the holiday, I'm a bit puzzled as I thought Mrs F was basically living in her bedroom since the pandemic. Why would she even contemplate a holiday when she is so vulnerable and poorly anyway?
I would think spending more time taking time out for yourself so you can desensitise is high on the priority list, otherwise everything else is pointless.
All words and advice that you probably all ready know, but need to be reminded of. You are in control! x

[fishman65]

Bless you Carnation I think with myself its been a perfect storm and was inevitable. Do you find that no matter how long we've had anxiety, a panic attack feels like the very first one we've had? I don't think we ever really get used to it.

You're not the only one puzzled by Mrs F's holiday talk. She's been out of the house twice since September, both for medical reasons. Anyway I've done my online workout, I'm not letting anxiety ruin all the work I've put in.

[Carnation]

Good for you fishman
I do a workout too. I find it helps with the rigidity of the body when feeling nervous.
And yes! Any panic or attack feels like it's experiencing it for the first time.
We should know by now they pass. We should know they are not harmful. We should know what to do when it happens. But still we panic about being panicky.
When I feel panicky I slowly continue with what I'm doing then take a bit of 'Me time'. Then carry on as if nothing has happened. x

[fishman65]

I totally agree Carnation over the workouts. Thank you for your kind words, they are very difficult to find in my own 3D world.

[pulisa]

Sometimes it all gets too much....and I expect the holiday talk was the tipping point? Maybe Mrs F can start to help you a bit more now that she is up to going on holiday?

[Carnation]

Fishman, my thoughts are if you go on holiday with Mrs F that you will be doing exactly the same as if you were at home with very little respite for yourself. Unless you stay in a hotel, but then again Mrs F will not be able to stay in her room all the time. Maybe this needs explaining to Mrs F. Maybe a day out might be more suitable to begin with. A picnic or a day at the coast. (Sorry, don't know how far away you are from the coastline). But at least with a day out you won't be commiting yourself to weeks worth of caring in a strange place.
I'm assuming arrangements would have to be made for your father as well, another point you could make to Mrs F. But if you want to get away, then that's different, but Mrs F needs to make some improvement to make your life a bit easier. x