Lorazepam

[Carys]

Great advice Terry, thanks again. You are so right, the 'how will I cope' becomes a desperate feeling and as adrenaline is high already...very high...then BLAM, not a chance ! I've had this before, but not for so long. Every time I am just drifiting off, and not even sibconsciously aware of it, its as if my body just pulls me back 'to action'. Its the most odd feeling, as if your brain is saying 'uuuh ho don't go to sleep' and pokes you back quickly. I guess it is because you have spent all day estabilishing a 'threatening' situation, and your brain over rides the tiredness. I need to basically not care, and somehow it will eventually happen.

You are very kind to spend time giving the advice. I will truly try the things you've said tonight. I downloaded some binaural app thing, every tried that ? Mind, I tried for 1 minute last night and it drove me potty lol

[BikerMatt]

Anyhow, had some good news today, 2nd year mammogram results - CLEAR

Nice one Carys

[Carys]

Thanks BM

[pulisa]

You may find that the lorazepam isn't needed now, Carys. What a relief for you and brilliant news!!

[Carys]

Yep, I sure hope you are right Pulisa.....twas same time last year I used them too.

[pulisa]

It's hardly surprising, Carys. No matter how much you want to "move on" the precautionary scans/tests must bring the trauma of diagnosis back. So good that you are in the clear-huge relief for you xx

[MyNameIsTerry]

You would do these same for us, Carys, you deserve support back. And sleep can be hard going as we don't realise how important it is for the mind until we start not getting it.

I completely agree with you. The second time around, when the relapse came, it was about waking too early but the first time, the initial breakdown, was all about getting to sleep at night. I would have that feeling of bouncing back. It was like I was fighting giving up control to my body, pretty classic in anxiety with losing trust in what our bodies have done since birth. I didn't fear not waking up, it was a fear of loss of control and maybe the unknown?

Like so many things it's about trusting our bodies.

Given tis happened at the same time as your tests before it sounds like an anxiety spike issue, a period of raised levels that spill over into areas like your sleep. That's good in that it should just go now, it's just something to work on for next time.

I did buy one of those white noise CD's but never got around to using it. I found reading helped me a lot, fiction though rather than reading about mental health.

Mindfulness is being used to treat some sleep disorders too. Meditation is aimed at making you relax and calm your mind so it makes sense it can be used for this. Not easy though, it's perhaps more about change than immediate relief.

Chamomile tea works for some. It's an acquired taste though! I used to add honey but to much of that and it goes from bitter to sickly.

I hope you have a good night tonight. Maybe you will just drop on the bed and be out like a light after the relief of your results?

[Carys]

Awww you guys ...so kinnndddd

Well, the white noise (whatever HZ it was meant to be for sleep) did my head in LOL I also downloaded some 'restful sleep sounds', but they were on such a short loop that it didn't sound natural and I was listening alert for the repetitions in the rain and wind and waves etc. Think I might resort to fiction Terry, at least it doesn't make irritating noises lol My husband says I'm too mentally active last thing at night, playing word games on my phone in bed. He turned the blue light thing off, and I stopped doing it, but that made no difference really.

A better night, definitely an improvement as woke at 7 and fell asleep naturally for another 30 mins. I did start the Headspace app a few months ago, then you had to pay for it to go beyond the basics, and I resented it pahhha....maybe I should though. I'm trying to force myself to be more active today, (not nervous energy active, but busy physically active) however shattered I feel, I reckon that should help too. Love chamomile tea actually, and do drink it, but us ladies of a certain age can't be drinking lots before bedtime All great suggestions, I'll go for reading I think.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Well, I'm certainly not going to make recommendations for tiring anything out in bed with the hubby

If it's any help, the thread in my signature has free Mindfulness courses in. One is a full online MBSR, others are just the meditations. There are some other free daily meditation type apps out there, not sure what they are like.

I think phuzella uses headspace beyond the basics so she would be able to say what the paid options are like.

My anxiety has always had me in the toilet more at night...when I get older I expect that will increase so I might have to rig up the garden hose to save on shoe leather

There are chamomile capsules too. They will likely have a lot more in than the tea though.

Glad to hear you had a good night.

My mum recommended reading as she is a big reader and always reads in bed. I thought it would make my mind more active but I was surprised to find it did help so I've been doing it for maybe 6 years now. I can sometimes struggle with racing thoughts that make this harder, and fatigue can make it less inviting, but after a while my mind comes away and into the book. It can also be a distraction. Sometimes I will be trying to visualise what I'm reading which is useful as it means investing more mental energy into the story and away from other thoughts (a bit like how when we panic we can try techniques to fill the mind with non scary questions e.g. how many dog breeds begin with S). Thankfully the trade off isn't loads of fear since my books are often more sword & sandals!

[pulisa]

I'd recommend keeping things simple, Carys. Nowt like a good book and some peace and quiet after the demands of the day. Don't try too hard with sleep otherwise it just becomes another psychological hurdle to overcome.