needed to tell someone!

[bluesparkle]

i really have no idea which subject to put this in so if you want to move it please do...
i want to thank you all for your replies on my other thread after my op... i am still not feeling right and am sore its been 8 days now i am probably being a bit impatient and have had a lot going on the last few days...
anyway im not sure anyone can do anything or not sure what im asking but one thing i have learnt is that i can say anything here and you all understand, i am not a person who likes to just take and take so i hate moaning but i really needed to tell someone.
my partner is leaving me.................
i dont want to get into back biting and "he said and done this" but he doesnt half pick his moments...
things have not been great but he calmly announced on saturday that he didnt want me anymore and didnt love me... he wants to be single he works long/odd hours and is very much a single man.
last time this happened we still saw each other every day and so decided to get back together but i cannot allow myself to do that this time i cannot go through this again, i have asked him not to leave but he wants to so i have to just get on with it now, i have told the kids and they were gutted especially youngest and also my teenage son too(i have 4 in total)
the hard thing is and the reason i really need you lot right now is he is still here until he finds somewhere to live... and that is hard...i am trying to be strong and get things sorted like money etc then he says i am pushing him out ... well he decided thats what he wanted so i know i must not feel guilty.
well to top it all today my mum has been taken ill, had ambulance called etc its her heart but they think they can control it with drugs... we taking it in turns to sit with her as they said they would see how she gets on today and decide then if she needs to go into hospital...
why is all this happening... i know lots of you are struggling so please forgive me for going on,
i really just needed to tell someone
i have made great steps in recovery lately as you know... please dont let me go back to where i was again, i want to be a help and support to others too, i just cant believe this is happening, i spent all day saturday asking him is this really it but i now know it is so my life as a single person/mum has to begin i have been here before but its still scarey.
rach

[trac67]

Rach,

Just needed to give you a big

Things will get better for you, its just everything seems to hit us in one go doesn't it

Take care of you ok and make sure this doesnt undo all the things you have achieved so far.

i hope your mum feels better soon

Love

Trac xxxx

[Lindalou64]

Hey Rach.. Listen Hun Its Not Your Fault Sometimes In Life We Can Get Dealt A Bad Hand One Week One Yr Ect...you Are Def Not Alone And My Heart Goes Out Too You....what Makes It Hard Is When It All Hits At Once And Ya Feel Like Where Do I Turn Now...well Ya Have To Think Of You And Ya Kids Right Now...of Course Be There For Ya Mom...my Prayers Our With Ya There Also...just Take It One Day At A Time Rach Ya Know And Seen What You Can Do And You Will Still Continue .sure Your A Feeling Down Right Now We Wont Use The Word Depressed Ok Who Wouldnt Be You Have The Right To Feel Down But You Will Pick Yaself Up And Move Forward Hun..im Sorry Ya Man Is Leaving That Sucks But Hey If He Says He Dont Love Ya Wel Hell He Dont Deserve Ya Then.i Know Thats Hard Also...just Hang In There Try And Stay Strong Ya Still Need To Heal From Op And Then You Will Start To Heal From The Other Things In Ya Life I Know Its Hard Im A Single Mom Also Hubby Passed 5yrs Ago The 2oth Of This Month.....but I Had To Learn To Deal With These Issues As You Will...please Let Us Know How Your Coming Along Ok......take Care Of You....linda Xxx

[Piglet]

Oh mate - what a crock!!!

Sometimes everything just seems to come at once doesn't it!! First and foremost though is your own recovery - so one day at a time of not overdoing things - ok!!!

Do go and sit with mum if you are up to it and hopefully you may know more later.

As regards your other half (whom I happen to think is quite quite mad to let a lovely lady like you slip through his hands but thats another story) of course him still living there is bloody hard after what he has just told you.

I suggest you put a time limit on this - he needs to decide where he is going since he has made this decision as its not fair on the rest on the family. Obviously you want to do this fairly but it's not a situation that is comfortable for any of you - I really hope it can be sorted very soon. Perhaps a break and he may realise what he is losing.

You are not going to slip back mate - everyday is a movement forward and you only deal with what's going on in that particualar day. Try not to think any further forward than that - other than necessary practical arrangements.

We're all here for you and I for one think you have and are managing terrifically well - non anxious people would be have trouble coping mate, so again realise any reactions you are feeling at the moment are appropriate, so don't try and supress them by thinking they are a negative anxiety response!!

Big hug from

Piglet

[happyone]

You are not going on hun You are sharing and if it helps, keep on doing it!
I am so sorry you are having such a rotten time.
I think after what he has said he can't expect you to be particularly accomodating.
With everything that is going on for you hun, you are doing really well.
keep on talking
Happyone
xx

[bluesparkle]

thank you so much for your replies...
told family yesterday and started ringing round benifits etc today... just work to face now but not for anouther week.
yes i will put a time limit on... looking at a flat tomorrow and one on wed so hopefully know something soon.
i am absolutely worn out again tonight but thank you so much for your kind words its nice to know people understand and care.
rach

[pips]

So sorry Rach Hun,

What alot for you to go through matey.

I Just want to say that I'm thinking of you sweetie and here if you need me. Please feel free to PM or e-mail me anytime you want hun.

I hope your Mum gets better soon.

Try to Stay Strong

Take care

Love & More Hugs,

Pip's X X X X

[bluesparkle]

thanks pips...
i will pm soon, i just need to get through these next few days
rach
x

[Paddington]

Dear Rach firstly i hope your mom gets better very soon Secondly..see if this makes sense in any way....your partner?were you dependent on him when you were worse with your anxiety at all??I ask this because when people are on the road to recovery ,be it drugs .drink,anxiety ..some times the partners role in the relationship changes sooo much that it is them who cant cope with the changes Mad i know ,but a fact too.I believe that you can and will cope on your own ,..your new found independence is a challenge and a gift hun I hope this makes some sense to you Rach.I am glad you are feeling better too after your op Here if you need me.Love Paddie.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Piglet]

.some times the partners role in the relationship changes sooo much that it is them who cant cope with the changes Mad i know ,but a fact too.

Yes I've heard that too!!

Hope things are better with your mum today Rach.

We're all here if you need any help and advice.

Love Piglet