Up sh@t creak

[Magic]

Hi Buster. Good work !!! I cannot say more my specs broken

[Buster70]

Went away last week but finding it hard to be positive since we got back , worked my arse off at the weekend and hardly slept , up at 4.30 Saturday and didn't stop all day , so last night I thought I really need some sleep and rest but you tell god your plans and he pisses himself ( that's what rain is ) went to bed about 12 , woken up soon after by daughter at toilet then again and again , she half cooked some fish and it was punishing her with sickness and diarrhoea (she gets her cooking skills from me not mother , raw or burnt ) so at three it was too hot to go back to sleep so I go downstairs and then my brother rings to say mums not well and wants to go to the hospital, she didn't end up going but I went round at 8 so not much sleep again and the had to work through the day in 30 degree heat which I love like getting locked in an oven .
It may sound selfish but I have no idea how to go about looking after my mum and seeing her in such a state is heart breaking , got to go round tomorrow while brother goes out with his gf and then take her to the docs she's had a letter and call saying they need to see her , I can't imagine going in with her but my bro says she lies to the doc and doesn't remember what he's said .
The DWP still haven't sorted out the money yet and when we ring we just get told you've won the appeal but we don't have the details , useless pricks ( that's probably and insult to pricks as they do at least have a use )
I chatted to new dog walkie lady this morning ( I must have a freindly face not a serial killer type ) any way she said she'd lost her husband in a car crash two years ago followed by her beloved dog which gave up after his master went , she'd got a new dog which had a scrap with my young one , I split them up which is how we got chatting neither of us seemed concerned about the fuss probably because we had bigger problems , anyway it did make me think as usual that there is always someone worse off , maybe I was destined to bump into her after visiting my mum , who knows.
Well feeling a bit low so thought I'd have a rant before bed , I've been told it's good to write down your problems .
Could do without the heat tomorrow what do you think of that God ? yeah thought so . Ta ta

[Buster70]

Tooo hot too hot too feaking hot , I wish the weather happy brigade would f**k right off with their " wonderful news it's going to be another scorcher , everyone is so much happier when it hot and sunny " except the ones that have heart problems or breathing problems or attitude problems , they can shove the burning sun up their arses , I may be biased
So mothers doc appointment went pretty much as bad as can be , she could barely get in my van even though it has lowered suspension, had to lift her in and out and wheel chair her into the docs , partner sat in the room with her which was very good of her considering their past hasn't allways been rosy, mum lied about looking after herself and refused help , and it turned out the reason for her appointment that she didn't remember she had is that her liver isn't functioning right so she's having a scan , the doc asked if they find it's cancer does she want to know and will she have treatment , she said no she's not going in hospital full stop , her short term memory is non existent they did a few tests and she failed them all so definitely dementia , on the whole not good , my mind has already fast forwarded to the worst ending possible ( thanks mind you're a real freind to me what would I do without you ? ) .
Spent the morning today delivering a chair for chap because mum wouldn't have it , a couple of hours in the van with my bro which gave us time to talk , we don't talk a great deal it's how we were brought up , we both found out things we didn't know about my dad and mum , we are going to have to talk more to deal with things .
I'd like to add something funny but right now I can't really find it in me , maybe tomorrow I'll come across an absolute f**kwit to laugh about .
Toodlepip

[Carnation]

Hi Buster, I had to reply to your last two posts, even though my hand is still hurting. :(
With the money they owe you, keep phoning them as they can make that payment while you are on the phone. Yes, it should be as easy as that! Go get em Buster.
With your mum, what a familiar story that practically matches what I went through, including the chair, the refusal if help and in complete denial.
There's only one thing you can do and that is take one step at a time. I often commented that there is no handbook available for when your parents age and become frail, but somehow you get through it.
Just remember that none of this is your fault and it is part of the life process.
Well done to your partner as well as I have the same relationship with my mum 'n' law and I had to do some very personal stuff for her, even though she was horrible to me for as long as I have known her.
As for the heat, we'll there's nothing I can do about that, just plenty of ice cream and hunting for shade.

[Magic]

I have to reply to you too Buster. What a right to do!!!! Been there, done that but not alone. You cannot do it all by yourself.
This is to let you know I am thinking about you.

[pulisa]

I think you should drop the expectation of humour from you for now, Buster? It's fine to express your sorrow and fear over your Mum. It's a horrible situation but you and your brother may very well get closer in the weeks to come because decisions have to be made jointly and it will be very hard with her dementia and health issues. You will need support from him and from everyone in your family who cares for you-time to forget about their own needs and requirements..

I hope we can help you in some small way too if only by this being a place where you can let off steam so to speak..?

[Buster70]

Thank you ladies, after the last few months / years I was kind of hoping for an uneventful quiet year but here we go again , it all seems to be happening too soon like most things in my life , dad at twenty , lost my dad at twenty nine , grandad at forty , my mum is only seventy five so not that old and it's all happening so quickly at the start of the year she was still going out now she can't get out of a chair and doesn't know if its Wednesday or cheesecake , that said her sisters died much younger and she's still around who knows ? , I know you ladies have been through the same it's probably been a little easier being women , some tasks are embarrassing all round for blokes looking after their mum but what's the other option run off down the woods with a strong rope ( not like last time with the elastic that didn't go well ) .
I'm up and down but the day I don't laugh at something in this ridiculous world is the day I'm in real trouble , been there done that never going back .
Again thanks and carnation stop typing if your hand hurts , its probably from shaking your fist at other drivers

[Buster70]

Coming on here tonight to distract myself as my head is working overtime , brother came round today pretty much in tears saying mum had enough , we went round and she looked so scared and poorly her leg has swelled right up but she refuses to use anything we get her to raise it up , I was in pieces before I went round but had to hide it , partner helped her have a wash and get changed and we called the doc to get some pain relief for her , partner has been great about it , weird thing is and I don't know why but I got home and felt incredibly angry , a tin opener wouldn't work and I felt like I was going to explode , is this just me or is that a normal thing , I don't know how to feel anymore about anything.
Take care

[Carnation]

Yes, it is normal under the circumstances you are under Buster.
I would think your mum needs antibiotics, not painkillers. She may even have gout from not drinking enough fluids. Or it could be water retention.
If you haven't already, arrange with her local GP that she have home visits as well.
It's not easy Buster. Been down that road and at times it will feel like you are bashing your head against a brick wall. Take one day at a time and make sure you have a breather from it all.

[Buster70]

Hi carnation thanks , brother rang not long ago she has gout which I suspected and water retention, she's already on tablets for that , he wouldn't prescribe any painkillers because of her liver problem which is going to be investigated, I think my main problem as usual is feeling out of control , I'm a fixer if it's broke people bring it to me but I can't fix people.
Going to be another bloody hot night .