How do I stop obsessing about a mole?!

[Froggie85]

Hello,I came across this forum in my googling and it has helped me a lot in calming my nerves
I didn't know health anxiety was a thing but now I'm thinking I have it. Every so often I will start to convince myself I have moles that must be melanoma,because I used to lay out and tan when younger and then I Google and it's all so confusing,each Web page is so conflicting. I'm 32,I don't burn easily,tan well usually in the past so I don't recall any bad sunburns in my life. No family History of Skin cancer. Now that I've become a mom I worry what if I did get skin cancer and my son had to grow up without me or me miss him growing up?!Anyways, I have found some comfort on seeing there are other people that relate to me with this! How common is it for someone my age to have it?

[bulan]

Leaving my son behind is the main driver of my anxiety too, so I understand how you feel, and I've had mole concerns in the past too. It's a miserable feeling to fear melanoma. I had 11 removed in 2014, including some that looked abnormal. One had newly appeared over a short period of time, which gave me my biggest scare. Another one had grown suspiciously during my pregnancy. Yet another one popped up under my eye, which my dermatologist refused to remove. But all ended up being benign. A couple years later, the same pregnancy mole began growing back, and I read on a dermatology website that, given the type of mole it originally was, any regrowth could only be cancerous. I was petrified. But it came back benign as well! Several years ago my mom, who's very fair-skinned, discovered a dark mole with irregular borders on the sole of her foot. I was very afraid for her, but again it turned out to be benign.

I have more moles I'm getting checked in a couple weeks, and I'd like one or two biopsies as well, but I can't bring myself to fear them now, even with a history of sun burns. After going through enough benign moles, I've been able to relax.

[Froggie85]

That's relieving to hear you had all of those come back normal! I'm wondering if it falls under the type dysplastic nevi,which are apparently atypical looking moles.

[bulan]

That's relieving to hear you had all of those come back normal! I'm wondering if it falls under the type dysplastic nevi,which are apparently atypical looking moles.

Yes, I had several of those.

[Froggie85]

Ok sorry I'm dwelling,but I found this site that allows you to put pics in and gives u a rough idea of what it could be,but I'm confused why it doesn't add up to 100 so now there goes my panic again!I attached a pic of what I mean.

[bulan]

I found that online guides, and my own visual assessment, were misleading. I had a dermatologist and general surgeon look at the same moles that worried me, and they saw something different than I did. What caused me extreme alarm, didn't worry them at all. So I've come to learn that trying to figure it out on my own is a waste of time... We're all at different places in our HA journey, and I can only describe what I've learned and how I've changed over time. I've learned to manage my anxiety, in part, by making sure I have no regrets with the way I spend my time. And for me, that means spending quality time with my son and doing other fun, meaningful things while waiting to see my dermatologist. I'm not perfect at it, but I can compartmentalize my dermatology questions much more quickly than I used to. You can get to a similar place as well.

[Froggie85]

Thank you for your advice and kind words!