Leukemia and Lymphoma

[Kopesy]

Yep, agreed, but just saying that I've realised explaining our levels during scans and therapies isn't getting through.....as he is thinking something 'out of the ordinary' happened.



Have the doctors looked at your receeding gums? Dry mouth? Hair falling out ? Red peeling forehead ? Did the first GP actually LOOK at all the symptoms you described.

'Out of the ordinary' is exactly what I'm thinking. You're spot on in regards to what I mean.

I've spoken to 2 doctors since my latest onset of symptoms. My GP and the A&E clinic I was refered to last time I was up there. My GP barely listened to me. He performed no single test. Instead he asked me how my relationship with my family is. Whether I had any issues with my sisters. Then he produced a couple of anxiety and depression tests and told me 'patients suffer' and i'm taking up too much of his time. I was kinda blown away with how dismissive he was actually.
The A&E doctor was a little more sympathetic and had a little look behind my eyes, checked my glands and offered me pain killers. He looked at my MRI and told me everything looked 'relatively normal'. I've actually got another MRI booked for the 19th from the day I saw him. My GP claimed today that he hadn't ordered me another one, and that my MRI showed him 'nothing that concerned him'. Interesting to know what/if the other doctor saw anything..

[lofwyr]

I am not sure the machine is even capable of administering the sort of dose of radiation that you would require to get the illness you are perceiving. They would have to leave you in for a slow cook like a roast, it simply cannot happen. I do know a lot of what you are experiencing, even hair loss, *can* be attributed to anxiety.

With regards to the hair loss, are you pulling out great hunks of it, or strands here and there? Because radiation hair loss is dramatic.

[Kopesy]

Hey @Iofwyr

I'd like to think it couldn't that's for sure. I was only in there for about 4mins. The scan itself apparently only takes 30 seconds, so I'm guessing the rest of the time is the x-ray and calibration (???) It's during that time that I'm convinced a large dose was being administered unknowingly. As unlikely as that sounds.
For me to receive enough radiation for my symptoms at an amount of the usual head scan, you're right, it would take a very long time.

I know anxiety can be attributed to a great many things, that and chronic stress. Although, I'm not sure this constant spider-like ghosting in my peripheral left eye, the constant random colours and lines in my immediate vision, the taste loss, the hair loss/weak limp feeling, gum recession and sunburned skin could be attributed to anxiety and/or stress.

In regards to the hair loss. While it's not falling out in literal clumps, it's falling out in the specific area of my eyebrow line. They're much thinner than they were, and there's an obvious small patch missing at the outer-left side of my eyebrow. The loss is more a few on my hands when I touch them. My hair on top of my head also sheds more, as does my body hair. It all feels really thin and limp. My facial hair is way softer than it ever was. I had really coarse hair before. There are a few white strands in my beard that were never there, as well as some small white hairs coming through at the bottom of my hairline.

[Fishmanpa]

Kopesy,

Seriously, this is a case of perception vs. reality. Anxiety has a way of skewing reality to support the irrationality. It's all over the boards. Are you getting professional help for your anxiety? It's quite apparent you're really in a spiral and it's severely affecting you.

Positive thoughts

[lofwyr]

Hey @Iofwyr

I know anxiety can be attributed to a great many things, that and chronic stress. Although, I'm not sure this constant spider-like ghosting in my peripheral left eye, the constant random colours and lines in my immediate vision, the taste loss, the hair loss/weak limp feeling, gum recession and sunburned skin could be attributed to anxiety and/or stress.

In regards to the hair loss. While it's not falling out in literal clumps, it's falling out in the specific area of my eyebrow line. They're much thinner than they were, and there's an obvious small patch missing at the outer-left side of my eyebrow. The loss is more a few on my hands when I touch them. My hair on top of my head also sheds more, as does my body hair. It all feels really thin and limp. My facial hair is way softer than it ever was. I had really coarse hair before. There are a few white strands in my beard that were never there, as well as some small white hairs coming through at the bottom of my hairline.

Anxiety can cause everything you listed, including that sort of hair loss. It is so common there are clinics that treat it. Literally every single thing you mentioned, as Fish said, has been on this forum hundreds, maybe thousands of times. Radiation poisoning goes way beyond gum recession, and gum recession can absolutely be perceived, gums would be bleeding and teeth would be falling out if you are talking the dose of rads required to do the damage you are perceiving.

You need to receive some counseling and learn some CBT techniques, they helped me a lot when I was in your shoes. Trust me when I say my biggest regret in life it letting 5 years slip by in worry and stress over impending medical disaster that never materialized. That was almost twenty years ago.

You need help slaying the dragon, and that dragon is not radiation sickness, I can assure you.

[Kopesy]

I'm not saying it's huge radiation sickness, as it's not a full body effect. It is however of the head. There's no way this can be explained as wholly anxiety. It seems like such an easy thing to put it down to. The symptoms began happening right after the scan. I remember actually feeling strange after it was done. Like very dizzy.

My eyes, especially the left just isn't working the way it did before. If it were anxiety, then why is it just the one eye effected and happens when I'm not consciously thinking about it? And complete taste loss, just like that. I've not read anything to explain that its a psychological reaction. My mouth/gums are extremely dry all the time now, too.

I pulled a crazy eyebrow hair out yesterday. It was at least twice the size as the rest. It felt thicker and wiry. The bottom half that had grew was see-through/opaque white. Couldn't this be something caused by radiation? Like some sort of DNA damage or cell mutation. This has never happened before.

The shape of my beard is also growing slightly different. The left side seems to curl up slightly more and leaves a sort of space that was never there.

My brain feels like mush. Like it's been put into a blender and put in backwards. It doesn't feel right at all. I feel completely messed up.

It's all too coincidental to not be something other than stress/anxiety!

I'm literally losing my mind trying to process it all. I'm not seeing things other people aren't. It's really happening. Yet nobody is believing a word I'm saying because the odds are so low. Yet nobody can also explain the reasons it can't be radiation.

It's all I can think of. I've started to wake up at night and seeing parts of my dreams while I'm awake. Last night I jumped out of bed believing there were radiation tendrils crawling through the covers. It's too much

I wish I'd never had the scan. I'm such an idiot for getting to that point due to stress. And in doing so, without reason, I feel like 'the boy who called wolf', and now I'm utterly screwed. I'm so upset

---------- Post added at 09:27 ---------- Previous post was at 09:12 ----------

And why did my scan only take 3 minutes?? Everywhere I've read suggests it takes between 10-15 minutes. Why was mine so quick?? Could it be too much radiation was used and they wanted to get me out as soon as possible?

What happened to me in there?!

[Carys]

I'm sorry to put it like this, and please don't take this badly...

And why did my scan only take 3 minutes?? Everywhere I've read suggests it takes between 10-15 minutes. Why was mine so quick?? Could it be too much radiation was used and they wanted to get me out as soon as possible?

What happened to me in there?!

This is conspiracy theory paranoia stuff. I've done a quick check on standard CT head scans, and it says that scans can take from a few seconds to several minutes. If they had given the wrong dose - why would they cover it up and hide it - they would have a duty of care to treat and report it.

[Kopesy]

I'm sorry to put it like this, and please don't take this badly...



This is conspiracy theory paranoia stuff. I've done a quick check on standard CT head scans, and it says that scans can take from a few seconds to several minutes. If they had given the wrong dose - why would they cover it up and hide it - they would have a duty of care to treat and report it.

I know, I'm sorry..

My mind is just going to every little thing at the moment.

[Carys]

You don't need to be sorry , I GET it, I've been there myself many years ago. I'm just saying that objectively, reading your posts, that is how it appears - you are in the grips of a paranoia which many here will have also experienced at the height of their anxiety.

[Kopesy]

You don't need to be sorry , I GET it, I've been there myself many years ago. I'm just saying that objectively, reading your posts, that is how it appears - you are in the grips of a paranoia which many here will have also experienced at the height of their anxiety.

Thank you.

I know I'm extremely anxious, but I'm still fully convinced it happened.

I have another eye test booked for tomorrow to figure out what's going on with my eyes. The left is particularly bad. Hopefully they find nothing wrong.

I've booked a dental appointment for next week to also figure out what's causing my gums to reduce, and my taste loss. It's been 2 weeks and I can taste absolutely nothing. No metallic or bitter tastes people have claimed to have. Absolute zero sense of taste.

I know I can sound crazy, but it's just the frustration that comes across