Spiralling out of control

[Cf1988]

Hello everyone.

I’ve been a long time lurker on here and I’ve never posted before. I was wondering if I could get some advice.


I’ve suffered with health anxiety for over ten years now but due to my circumstances I feel that I am currently in the grip of an episode that’s worse than anything I’ve ever experienced before. To give you a bit of background, in the past I’ve literally diagnosed myself with every condition under the sun, if you can think I’ve it I’ve had it. I know about diseases that even doctors look baffled at when I bring them up!

The last two years have been extremely tough on me. I was forced out of a job due to workplace stress, and within a month of that my short marriage broke down and I got divorced. Through all of this, bizarrely my HA didn’t fear its head.

I met my new girlfriend and everything seemed to be going well. Then two significant things happened.

1) I correctly diagnosed myself with a hernia. This planted the seed in my mind that actually I am right about my health symptoms! Now logically I know this is incorrect but I’m really struggling to break the pattern.

2) my girlfriends mom took her own life. As you can imagine what she is going through is awful, and unfortunetly both of these things as well as the divorce have sent me into a major downward spiral.

Ever since the hernia diagnosis I have felt very bloated so of course I’ve diagnosed myself with cancer against all rational thought (probably stress). I’m
So ashamed of my health anxiety that I feel I can’t book another appointment with my gp after I only saw him last week


I feel like I have to stay strong for everyone at the moment given the circumstances, and I also feel that two years worth of chronic stress, anger, anxiety and other negative emotions havehit me all at once.

I’ve discussed this with my go who has put my on Mirtazapine but at the moment I’m not seeing any change, I’m anxiety ridden all the time to the point where it’s a struggle to leave the house I’m so petrified of dying!

Now I’ve tried everything to rid myself of this anxiety (read all the self help stuff, cbt etc) and nothing seems to work. Other people need me at the moment and I don’t want to let people down.


Apologies for the long winded post but I just feel so stressed and pressurised

[welsh girl]

I think you have hit the nail on the head, you are afraid of being seriously ill or dying so that you don't want to let people down,
Thank you, I see myself exactly with what you have said.
What is the answer? i wish I knew,
I ponder as to where all this started and the only thing It can possibly be is that when I had children this fear of leaving them without a Mum was over whelming, as I panicked at the fear of loosing my parents when I was young.
Ifa ny of this makes sense please let me know Hugs