Struggling

[clio51]

Have you ever wondered why one day you can cope and hardly any anxiety symptoms to the next your fuelled with anxiety ?

Yesterday woke up with usual bodily symptoms but managed to out them to one side and feel more postive in myself
Even decided to go out with partner to a motorbike event at a large shop and feel no anxiety build up that would normally make me quit going.
I managed to stay 3 hours, most of the time quite enjoying it(even though its not my thing) just a few frighening thoughts trying to creep in now and again
Driving home i felt really tired and then the anxiety was starting to creep in despite trying to ignore and try to put at the back of my mind
There were times when the anxiety was at the forefront and wouldn’t budge I couldn’t concentrate
Sleep wasn’t that good last night also and again this morning my usual thought provoking symptoms. These have such a knock on effect on me bodily and motivation. I sick off saying f... off leave me alone I want to enjoy life

Partner thinks I can just shrugg it off and carry on, like he does when he’s not feeling to good (not anxiety)

I’m 60 and scared to be on my own most off the time, what a life

Anybody else struggle doing things? How do you get round them?

I’ve resorted to propranolol and 2mg if diazepam to get me out

Sending hugs to those struggling with this horrible anxiety x

[MyNameIsTerry]

Yep, clio. My GAD is like this, better some days, others just worse with no real reason behind it. There are triggering events that spike it but so much of my GAD has just been the waking up like that, the reset thermostat issue.

Earlier on it was constant. The more I worked on my recovery, the more I found it a background issue on the better days and when the bad days come back, my blips which are frequent, then it's just like it's "just there".

I think that's what makes GAD so hard to tackle, you don't even know why it's there a lot of the time.

I think it's about stages. When you hit rock bottom the days are really bad, there's no let up. As you move forward you see small changes and things aren't as fever pitch as the worst stages. The more you move on the more you seem to exit that "worse thermostat" issue and better times become more consistent. But I've found with mine I get into many ruts. Motivation is sapped and life can become a groove and recovery stalls out.

I have many issues to tackle in my GAD. I've had more success with the OCD side. But it's difficult when one day you move forward and another nothing is different except you wake up and things are harder.

When I was really bad when I had days that I can term "less worse" I would try to make a move to recover with some activity. What I found was that these became new routines that were easier on the better days but because they became embedded I was more likely to just slog through them on the bad days (hating it all, of course, but not backing down as I would have if I tried to initiate new activities in the bad periods).

But then you get all these one off type things in life where it feels more difficult to build up a resistance too because you struggle to find comparative events/goals to expose yourself too.

Try not to kick yourself too hard, it won't help, it's another one of it's tricks to try to suck you into a low mood. I found I turned a bit of a corner on low mood when I stopped letting it suck me in when things weren't as I wanted them. They still aren't as I want them now but I've limited it's ability to pull me down, not that I don't have moments.

I hope you feel better soon

[clio51]

Hi Terry,
thanks for replying, when you dont get any replies on your thread i start to think omg it must only be me! Hope you too have sunshine in your neck of the woods and are having better days recently.

this morning was another crap one
Does anyone think we get ourselves into a self distruct routine unwillingly , by that i mean
Hope i can put this into the right words/ context
Like we have the same symptoms for a few morning/weeks on waking, that our brain puts us in a pattern for it to happen the next day, the next day etc.

Im just waiting at the moment to get rid of the intrusive thoughts that come with my waking symptoms, and feel good to the start of the day
I too think that the more i try to help myself with the anxiety the more i seem to foxus on it
And it becomes at the forefront of everything.
Can win, i think im trying to help myself by Finding help either via nhs(which is non existant) or privately, that then it all becomes about anxiety and i start to feel overwhelmed and want to run away from it all.

Take care

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi clio,

I think the GAD board is a bit quiet these days. Thanks, I'm much better than I was years ago but I still have my struggles.

It's roasting here!!! The heat started on Saturday. Summer dresses & convertibles everywhere.

Yes, my anxiety symptoms have often been the same for long periods. Some become background issues the more I got better. Things get very repetitive with anxiety and months can feel like weeks as the year spins by feeling the same.

I understand what you mean about the focus on getting rid of this monster. I sometimes think it can be better to look at it from another angle, don't apply so much pressure and apply more acceptance so that you be thankful for a better day rather than try to create one. Just be more present, let the better days just come to you.

However, it is important to be pro-active too so it must be about balance? I don't mean just hope it all goes away but learn to be less focussed on it so your body learns not to care as much about it. The subconscious learns what is important to us through observation of our reactions.

I think we do self sabotage a lot, I know I have. It's not intentional, it just comes from the fight or flight protection system and learning to let go is hard.

I'm long over my intrusive thoughts. I still get them and I notice them now unlike before my anxiety started but they just flash through with a rider thought of "meh", "work cares", etc and that's that. Learning not to react to them with negatives, as well as eliminating compulsions that reinforce the cycle further, will show your subconscious these thoughts aren't important. It's hard to do because like all anxiety it's a counter intuitive response but it really does work and you can achieve it.

I hope you are seeing some lovely, positive sunshine too. Not everyone likes the heat but I always find sunshine is mood lifter and I start to want to do more things. I hope your days improve soon