Relapse

[Laneybc]

I have had another relapse. I had six pretty good years even though we lost three of our parents during that time. Then my dad died last summer and I relapsed. I got back on trazadone and things immediately improved and though I was still grieving I could also enjoy lifelong I cried most days but I laughed too. Things were okay. Last week we were told my husband has lung cancer and it pushed me off the edge. I am a mess, cant rest properly, can't eat, tummy troubles, frozen in one place. I am also taking trazadone, citalopram and buspirone. I have Ativan but hate to use it. I usually don't notice any benefit when it is this bad and I fear becoming dependant.
I have taken lots of CBT classes etc, had counselling, etc. I am just at a loss as to what else to try to help myself. I have booked myself in with a private counsellor because publicly funded has been a pain to get in with(in Canada).
I feel like I need to stop fighting the anxiety but my mind is going to so many dark places with this diagnosis. I am disabled and use a wheelchair most of the time. I rely heavily on my husband and so I fear for my future if he becomes ill or worse.
Kind of rambling here but I wanted to give a bit of background.
Thanks for reading. I am open to suggestions.

[Fishmanpa]

As a survivor, I'm so sorry to hear of your husband's diagnosis. Cancer is very difficult to deal with for both the patient and the caregiver. Add to that your own health issues and anxiety and its no wonder you're relapsing.

It's a positive that you're seeking help as it will certainly be beneficial during this time. Its also very important to reach out to friends and family and build a support network. You're obviously going to need help as your husband goes through treatment. Having been through it, I also know how important it is for you as a caregiver to take care of yourself. Look into on-line cancer support groups as well as local real life support groups (Canadian Cancer Society). They proved to be invaluable to my wife and I during my battle and recovery.

Sending....

Positive thoughts