I'm no stranger to anxiety, but health anxiety is relatively new to me. Over the last few months, my stomach has gone completely awry, I was shaky, constant pins and needles all over my body, I stopped sleeping, etc. My particular fear was related to neurological conditions, but I ended up diagnosing myself with a few cancers along the way. You all know the drill with this stuff - it's a dark, dark hole.
Well, I finally went to my GP for my anxiety (and not my myriad of perceived illnesses) and started the conversation about medication. I left with a few prescriptions, and a lot of appreciation for her. I've been really lucky - she's incredibly kind, patient, and compassionate, and she's been pretty open about her own struggles with anxiety so I don't feel so alone with it. And she's been so reassuring about the process of anxiety and medication.
That night, I took a pill and slept for the first time in months. The next morning, I felt like my old self - patient, measured, focused, happy. I'm far from out of the woods, but I am so grateful to have had a good night's sleep. All of this stuff is completely magnified by lack of sleep, and I felt like I was really starting to lose it.
But, truly, the best "medicine" was just listening to my GP. It felt so good! Sure, she is human and can make mistakes, but she knows a lot more about how medical conditions present than I do. Plus, when my stomach was off for a little too long, she sent me to the GI doc. And he sent me for a colonoscopy. And all was fine this time. Neither of them was trying to bar me from care or incompetent or ignoring my symptoms. I'm lucky because I have great providers, but it feels SO much better to trust them than to question their every move. Switching that mindset, and getting some sleep, is the first thing that's really had me feeling relaxed in months (and I run, meditate, do art, work fulltime, have a rich social life, etc. - NOTHING else was working).
I know none of this is revolutionary, but for those struggling who have received all clears from healthcare professionals, please try to trust that they know what they're doing. Because that's the only thing that's gotten me back to my old self in months, and that's what I'll try to hold onto if the cycle starts again.
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